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Fresh Milk for Christmas Ch. 01

byandros989©
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by Anonymous

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by tabbymidnite05/18/15

reminder get milk

very hot story thanks for sharing.... what a good Monday morning turn on...

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by Michael14205/18/15

I agree with Ms. Tabby...

...nice little quickie. So you will get a nice grade for this effort.

If you could stand some constructive comments, you should use more separation ... more paragraphing since it makes it easier to read online. Print is different, but I usually limit my paragraphs to two to three sentences ... no more than four!

Also, You should set off pieces of dialogue in separate paragraphs for each speaker, with the tag to identify the speaker, of course. It is more dramatic that way, and should not be buried in the middle of a paragraph.

Just my thoughts, of course, and you are more than welcome to tell me um, where to go!

Regards,
Michael142

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