All Comments on 'A Boy and His Genie Ch. 01'

You have a very good start to this story. What I am afraid of is this will be another great genie story potiential that goes unfinished. I may be cynical but it has happened before. The nice thing is you put a time limit on the how long her master will live. This might help you be able to finish the story.

Don't worry, I've got no intention of ending any time soon. Chapters 2-4 are submitted and waiting for approval (They're also here if you don't want to wait: http://www.sexstories.com/profile935435/DragoTime), and I'm writing chapter 5 as we speak, so there's plenty more to come.

Anonymous has good reason for being cynical about a genie series, there is not one genie series on Literotica that is not unfinished and abandoned.

Oh I know being cynical is natural. I too get annoyed when stories aren't finished. Truth be told, I don't know how long this will last. It'll last as long as I have content to write.

Can't wait for more. Thanx for sharing this with us. Great fun.

Right after she tells him the rule about not telling others her secret, he breaks it...and she does as well. It's a nice story and all, but you need to reconcile a few things and not break your own rules.

I've gotten to the point where I don't read a lot of stuff at Literotica anymore unless it really piques my interest. And, generally, that includes stories where the main characters can control other people without their consent, can stop time, and have absolute power. When you can do anything with anybody, or wish for anything that you desire, it kind of takes the fun out of life and the stories get boring very quickly. I don't know why I decided to read this particular story--maybe it was the playfulness of the title--but I did and I felt that I should say a few things if you don't mind.

I agree with the previous reader about making sure that rules don't get broken. Rules are there for a reason and should be followed, otherwise the reader gets the impression that the author really does not care about his creation. Also, I understand that Matt is very close to his friends, but I feel that they got let in on the secret way too easily--Lumiosa stated that another of the rules was secrecy and she, herself, allowed that one to get broken when she didn't shield what she was doing with Matt from his friends once they awoke and came downstairs. Also, Matt should make sure that Lumiosa puts the spell back on the bottle so that no one else can touch it--Matt needs privacy, particularly from his friends (perhaps he should think about wiping their minds concerning anything having to do with knowledge of the genie). But, then, I never had friends that I trusted implicitly so perhaps I am wrong here.

Mostly I liked the first chapter. There were some questionable grammar choices and a few misspellings and missing words here and there, but it did not detract too much from my enjoyment of it. Perhaps you might have someone else read the next chapters before you submit them just to polish up any mistakes that may have been made initially. But, again, this is just a minor thing and I really shouldn't nitpick.

I will go on and read the next chapter since it has already been posted. I will probably have a comment or two after that one as well. Take care and thanks for an interesting read.

Roger.

Good start

To the Anonymous commenters: obviously, you missed Rule 3. He can tell some people about the genie, but he can not tell all people, i.e. he can not tell the public about her. Did you miss that paragraph on page one?

This twat seems like a world class cunt. The lead character is incredibly stupid. Who the fuck would disable a security feature of the most valuable object imaginable?

Good writing, though. Thank you for sharing your talent.

the two buddies are a negative drag on the storyline, but it has real potential.

kinda boring .. lemme check the next chapter though *sigh*

Dumbass is awarded a Genie

Dumbass immediately violates “Genie Rules” and allows friends to become aware of Genies without erasing their minds of the event.

Dumbass disconnects safety features that prevent lamp from being stolen

Dumbass has dumbass, abrasive, loser, misogynist friends who start making demands on dumbass and his Genie.

Dumbass allows dumbass friends to make their own wishes.

Dumbass wonders if “someone can steal his genie” (after having disconnected safety features earlier).

Only the first two pages and you can’t even remember your own story?

dumbass is dumbass

I'd say the dumbass is the one who didn't read the story because otherwise he'd have realised that Matt didn't break the rules.

A commenter above said there were no completed genie stories. There is at least one other; Genie Chronicles - Gemini by BarbarianLover.

No, Matt did not break the rules by allowing his friends to know about the genie. Re-read the rules.

Matt is something if a hypocrite. This is an issue that most, if not all writers of mind control/genie/magic stories overlook. He is seemingly concerned about the free will of the genie, but did not hesitate nor give any second thoughts to what he did to the two girls he made into sexual toys for his two jerk friends. That is a huge moral dilemma right there.

We'll see if this is addressed in later chapters but I doubt it.

If he is going to be forcing his will on others, I would suggest he make his friends be nice guys instead of the selfish pricks they are right now.

This series of stories is already complete as I write this post, so one can only hope the author has considered the ramifications of his character's actions and taken the story in a positive direction.

The mobility thing is a bit odd. I'm guessing he's in a normal suburban home... Surrounded by dozens, if not hundreds of the same. Which kinda would clue anybody from any century that he's not all that high up on the totem pole.

Also a bit odd that she seems to have no opinions of her own at first... But then does after Matt goes to sleep.

Overall, decent, appears to be a bit rushed, and works just fine as smut.