All Comments on 'Mia and Gio'

by superssunnyselena

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  • 16 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
!

This story caught my attention! I want to read some more! Great job! Continue with the updates!

ariesgirlariesgirlalmost 9 years ago

Mia need to realize that others may have suffered as she did.. She shouldn't be so quick to assume that no one understands. But she is a victim that is terrified so I understand her thinking.

MADISONKAIMADISONKAIalmost 9 years ago
5 stars

I am hoping there is a chapter 2. There is so much left to be told. I want to know how Angel and Mia came to be. I cringed when you wrote about BAD HAIR! There is no such thing! SMDH. I think Gio's mother is laying it on a little too thick. Overall this story has good bones.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
chapter 2

This is really good. please continue.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

Like some already said the story is good but the whole thing with Gio's mother is way too much, its unrealistic, to feel sympathy is one thing but to declare your love for a complete and total stranger is another.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

Yea the whole not having bad hair bull and being so distinctive, i.e. too beautiful to be black mess could have been left out easily. Right now for me, Mia isn't the most likeable character.

black_maestrablack_maestraalmost 9 years ago
Story has a lot of potential

I kinda agree with the other comments about the tone or flow of the story.

As a writer, you have to recognize how your audience will see each of your characters. I like Gio, Mia is still undecided. Bur Sarah (Gio 's mom) cracks me up... That one line "I'm not leaving Mia's side. She's the daughter I always wanted Gio to be." I had to stop to laugh my ass off.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

Could be better written, a lot of editing needed. At this point not much likable about the characters and the dialogue is stilted.Use contractions to help it flow better.

ladiebrowneyezladiebrowneyezalmost 9 years ago
whaat

i actually laughed how all this seem so unrealistic. i'm sorry.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

Ugh I know it's your story and you make up the characters appearance but you might as well have not even made Mia black because it seems like you tried to give her features that make her the furthest from it and make her seem like some all mighty unearthly beauty

Not for me

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Love it!

This first chapter gave me goosebumps. Keep it up, love!

superssunnyselenasuperssunnyselenaalmost 9 years agoAuthor
Anon

Mia looks like me. I based her off me. I don't have those eyes, but every other thing is on the mark. It wasn't in my plan to make her sound like she was unearthly. I wanted her to be me. To be described as me. Although, my mother is Indian so that could be an indicator as to why I have the features I do. That doesn't make me any less of a black girl does it? :)

superssunnyselenasuperssunnyselenaalmost 9 years agoAuthor
ladiebrowneyez

It's a story sweetheart. It doesn't have to be "realistic". I'm glad you laughed though. Whether it be from my story or your misinterpretation of what "fiction" meant. Have a blessed day sweetie and drink water! :)

chocolatesistachocolatesistaalmost 9 years ago
New fan

I love this mia and gio I can't wait to read more don't keep us waiting too long

nene22nene22over 8 years ago
My body is ready

I have not been sucked in by a first chapter in I don't know how long. I'm loving this story so far. How does she know his full name? How did he find out who she was by just a first name? Is he going to take care of angel? Please update this story, it's so juicy

Comentarista82Comentarista82over 8 years ago
Loved it

Great suspense with starting in the middle of the action and then working your way back a bit. Good detail to relay the pain, the sensations and communicate those to us for how Mia felt. Well done and I hope we won't wait much longer for Ch. 2--it's almost been 2 months. :P

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