My Little Niece

Nice little story. You should continue it with more chapters, starting with the next morning and the talk and feelings sussed out. Good job

I loved how you described the slow pace of their lovemaking! Gave it a 5. Keep writing please, you have talent.

much too quick, no build up, no suspense.

serious criticisms to the author

a story where the girl just slips into your bed is dull story, a sign of the author's laziness or lack of imagination.

i admit that such things do happen, and, rarely, it's happened to me.

but a good erotic story builds up to the sex. obstacles have to be overcome.

also, the fact that he hasn't seen them since they were little means that there's no real emotional investment in the incest taboo. the girl is a stranger to him.

as well, i think that the "bombshell" unless it's a story about World War One, is a warn out cliche.

and yes, i'm not just a critic. i have stories of my own posted here.

good story quick and to the point or fuck, love it.

good one.

Just can't do it with a family member but oh would love to with anyone else.

I appreciate the critiques good and bad

Thanks for the comments. Yes I know it's not a great story because I'm new to writing stories. just starting to learn and evolve. This is my first published fictional work...ever. I may amend this chapter and write more chapters if there is more interest so please comment if you would like more. Till then I will continue to work on a couple other stories in the works.

fine job I must say...my one neice and I have been involved for 15 yrs now I moved to the city she works in and we've lived as one since.

New Author

It's awesome that you gave it go. You'll get gobs of criticism on what's wrong with it from folks that only read. So take all that with a grain of salt. Please do try to get better. Not just the story but the grammar sentence structure and vocabulary. "Her juices leaking out as her pussy clamped and relaxed over and over on my cock." -Her juices leaked out OR "Her juices [were] leaking out" clamped and relaxed - see the word spasmed. Just keep at it and fix it as you go and get someone to proof it.