"something elephantine roared through the room and smashed into her head. Ragged electric torturous flaring scores of acidic flame ripped through every nerve ending Linda had"?!?!
That bird doesn't fly. At all. Long list of reasons why, too. Nor do things like "martial home", but editing is another thing.
Having said that, you are usually way better than this story. Keep up
This is certainly realistic and is written grammatically well. Some of the subtle touches were well done in it's description.
So I will appreciate that part of it because there wasn't a lot else to embrace in the story. Blowjob. Death. The only question which was answered was 'what happens'. They die.
A scene. A good scene. But not even trailer length.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
So he killed two people for hurting his feelings.
Clearly he was a real man.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
WTF
UNFORTUNATELY THIS WELL WRITTEN STORY SEEMS RATHER POINTLESS.
unless I am missing something
Wives are not chattel... but promises are promises... and she shit all over hers. It's telling that you don't perceive the deeper issues.
Murder is murder and is not justified. Violence is rarely justified. This story is sad and the violence makes it worthy of 1* at best.
Here's the 411 - wives are not chattel, cheating wives should divorce their husbands and support themselves before they betray and deceive. Those who fault "weak men" for expecting vows to be honored are the saddest of all.
First, to anonymous, you're either a cheater, or doing a cheater, and praying real life never catches up with you. You get what you deserve.
This story happens in real life all too often, and a cheating wife is ALWAYS at the center of it. Too bad he never figured that neither of them were worth it. Bet she isn't so proud of her new-found skills now. 5* for being real.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Now what, spend the rest of your life in prison.for a cheating wife.
That is too extreme. There are other ways to get revenge without going to prison. It was just sex and he could have moved on. Story justifying murder for pussy. And some readers think this is cool. Would you want to sit in a cage for life ?, so now 3 lives are over.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Murder is might
And might is right. Albert had the might and the right and he committed murder.
He did nothing wrong on a moral basis. Legal? That always changes.
I remember the days when we used to flay and torture an adulterer.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Well I guess that's one possible outcome to cheating
But you tried way too hard to be clever with the words. And it just didn't turn into a good read. The last sentence was an example of something that just didn't work. Too convoluted an explanation of the fact that she felt pain. And not an interesting one.
I read in the middle East where the wife was stone to death but the male counterpart was visibility absent. I thought it was extreme á this case was extreme. The so call wife and dear friend was not worth the bullets that kill them nor the stiff prison time he will receive. He should walk in the room start packing her stuff and tell her and her paramour not to stop on account of him. Continue packing. Then warn t he guy, he already informed his wife and she is packing his shit as they speak.
But I get that cheap explanations are useless at this point, and I get the "disappointment" that there couldn't at least be some more "excitement" to at least SOMEWHAT justify her cheating.
And I get that once he killed the lover, she had to go too, his life is over, she is AT LEAST as much to blame as Keith, so if he had to pay with his life, so did he.
the other day, my kid said something that humiliated me in front of a group of people whom I respected and respected me.
Well, I can't put up with that kind of nonsense so I broke her arm. It was easy since she was so young (thin bones)
Does this seem reasonable to you who are so happy she is dead? Not excessive at all? Is breaking a business contract a capitol offense? That involves broken promises too.
If so, I need to worry about that Book Club I belonged to back in the day. I think there are a few books I didn't pay for and they probably have a couple of hit men after me...
Proportionality. It's in the dictionary between Prick and Pussy. Granted, if it happened to me, who knows what I would do until I am actually there.
But most commenters seem to think I am not right in the head anyway. What is your excuse?
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Well...
This site is supposed to be about sexuality, pleasure. Truth or not, murder, pain, mayhem does not fit in my opinion.
Crap like this does not excite me at all.
Used to think this author was better than this. Turns out he's just as much of a violent, woman hating piece of shit as the rest of the 'popular' authors here. This is why literotica is such a disgusting place where sad, lonely, pathetic little misogynists sit around and jack off to snuff porn like this. There really is no redeeming this site of the comments and ratings here are any indication.
frontlinecaster. WTF, man? You aren't forced to read "Literoitca" any more than the rest of us. Subscribe to "Readers Digest" or the like, arschloch. Good story, Vandahorn. Probably more truth than fiction here. Cheers!
by
Anonymous05/30/15
WOW !!! For a short story you did a magnificent job. No loose ends.
You said just enough and didnt add anything unnecessary. Well done. #5
So why would it matter to people in New York state if Florida has the death penalty?
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Agony
It appears to me after reading these comments, that many of you don't have a clue. The amount of pain a loving, faithful spouse feels upon finding the love of their life in the act of giving it to someone else is far greater than even the death of a loving spouse. The betrayal of all those thoughts, wishes and dreams of a wonderful long and happy life together are painfully ripped from you in a split second. The mental and physical agony is so great that common sense is gone
by
Anonymous05/30/15
priceless
calling frontlinecaster an "arschloch." name fits him perfect. the cry baby likes to dish it out on the cuckie stories, but can't stand anything else. hypocrite!
The best story on this site. The wife got what she deserved. Too bad all writers can't write like this. When spouses mess around, this should be the result. I hope you write another story like this.
It appears to me that after reading the comments that the average anonymous commenter here is a sick, sad, violent sociopath. Wait, I already knew that. I just didn't realize one of the only authors on this site I actually respected was one too. I expect this from the violent misogynists like stangstar, carvohi or Iron Dragon, but I'd thought after reading his other stories that Vanadorn was better than that. But he's just another pathetic excuse for a man who should be more at home in some desert in Syria stoning women to death than trying to write shit like this.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
getting bent out of "proportion" over fictional stories and the site that hosts them...
Is about as useless as ANYTHING that FLC has ever said in a comment, at ANYTIME, EVER. (Now we know who is fucking BonnieTaylor2!!!! 2 Trolls in Love, FOREVER!!!! Yes, only the extreme stupidity of FLC's ASSinine hypocracy could ever match BT2's ASSinine stupidity and her drunken psychopathic typos!)
Anywho, Congratulations on your return to LW, Van! The uber trolls couldn't wait to try to tell you to get lost, and that your story doesn't fit , nor belong. WTF do they know? Certainly not enough to think twice about what you wrote; only enough to clamour to the keyboard and attempt to pathetically villify you for it. What a shame.
As for me? I was very glad to see you back, and I am looking forward to your following adventures in the flash story format. I think this piece was good "practice" for you, in attempting top notch descriptive language. But, sadly, I must agree that a few of the images didn't fit quite as good as you must have intended. That said, without question, this story absolutly nails it with its overall tone, and clear sense of purpose. Despite some extra flowery language, you still manage to say EXACTLY what you want to say, and I bet MOST of your readers today DID get it...the message.... loud and clear. And this is even if they decline to add their voice to the other trolls clogging up your comments section.
If the age old question is: how is murder erotic?
The the question to answer your question is:
Did you miss the main point of the story? or even
Did you even actually READ the story?
Old Van put in a well described BJ scene for you pervs! What are you complaining about? Or is it that you are really pissed because he deprived you of your chance to get off on it?
Murders happen in real life. So do rapes. So does forced confinement and kidnapping. So does unnatural incest. So does spousal abuse. These are All CRIMES that are found in abundance ALL over the many categories of this site. Van is certainly not the first author ever to tackle this topic IN A WORK OF FICTION!!!!!
Get over it, those of you who take this shit way too seriously. And while you are at it, get over yourselves, if you think that YOURS is the only opinion that matters.
(you ARE entitled to your own opinion, just not the errant belief that it is the ONLY one worthy of consideration)
When I read a story like this, it makes me think thoughts like this:
I wonder, if more people thought that commiting adultery could possibly get them KILLED, then would they have risked the fucking around in the first place? And even if they KNEW that the betrayals they were commiting were against a man who was capable of murder, would they still enjoy themselves as much, even if they WERE willing to risk it? These are just questions....food for thought, really. Not anything earth-shattering.....
And frankly, I have no idea if this is what Vanadorn was going for or not. But what I DO know, is that this IS NOT FUCKING SNUFF PORN!!!! So Fuck ALL Y'ALL who try to convince other readers that it is! Vanadorn deserves more credit than that shoddy treatment, and so does ANY author, still willing to take a chance by posting in this category, featuring the most venomous trolls (ever to grace a totally free to everyone site) anywhere on the internet!
Now follow my example:
Thankyou for your efforts, Vanadorn. I appreciate you writting something for me to read for free. Please continue to contribute here. As you grow as an author, it will be my pleasure to witness your progress. What a great privledge it is to enjoy the service Literotica provides by bringing amatuer authors and anonymous readers together for a free exchange of ideas. Thanks again for participating in this great experiment! I am looking forward to enjoying more of your work. Have a great day!!!
Really people, why do you have to make this so hard????
Calling carvohi the cheater apologist who never met a RAAC he didn't like a misogynist is all the proof needed that you have no clue.
Or are you admitting that saying women are incapable of resisting cheating is the true misogynism?
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Well
that was a bit bone chilling. Folks can hate on this story and author too, but you know... this kind of stuff does happen. Powerful story.
Nevertheless, it is a stupid decision. Just walk and don't look back. The world is a big place with about a million women better than the one you are leaving behind.
by
Anonymous05/30/15
Food for Thought
Firstly I have a Literotica account. The only reason that I'm commenting anonymously. Is because my comment will reveal where I live.
Approximately twenty years ago at a motel in Smithtown, Suffolk County, New York. An armed assailant kicked in a door at the above mentioned motel. In the room a man and a woman were having sex. The man was shot twice in his ass. The woman was unharmed. The wounds to the man were not fatal.
Subsequently it turned out. The man was a judge. The woman was the judge's secretary. It also turns out the woman's husband was a Suffolk County Police Officer.
The motel was less than three miles from the 4th precinct. The armed assailant was never apprehended.
No I am not a police officer. My trade is closer to Albert's. Carpenter, Electrician or Plumber.
It's just a story. But yes, these types of stories do happen.
There are a lot of things that do happen in real life: bestialtiy, incest, sex with minors, sex trafficing, etc., etc.. Dark and ugly stuff. No one is suggesting that authors shouldn't write stories based on such dark subject matter. What some (including me) are suggesting is that when readers read such a dark story about something as ugly as double homocide, and cheer the murderer as a hero, that reveals quite a lot about the sick and twisted mindset of those readers.
I don't believe this author is among those who are cheering the husband's actions in this story. But the way he wrote it, it appeared that he could relate to murderous intent as a reaction to having one's feelings hurt. That's a little disturbing, IMHO.
Yep, they do. Thankfully not nearly so often here as they once did, which is why authors like this and his fans seem to long for some kind of fundamentalist religious law, be it Christian, Muslim, orthodox Jewish, whatever, (they're all basically the same when you get to that level of crazy) where they can treat women like property and stone adulterers to death.
No one is trying to take your snuff porn away, just calling it what it is, and the lot of you what you are. Hope this author never writes again.
For a Flash Story it was well done. Whether I like the subject matter or not does not matter as I like the way the author handled HIS story. I remember reading stuff like this in High School and College, ie, In Cold Blood, Crime and Punishment, Macbeth, and a few other out there like Virgin Spring which were stories that everyone called Literature. One does not have to agree with subject, events or outcome of a story but how it's put together and the thoughts it evokes. For me this accomplished all of it. 5*.
The story accomplished something I tried in a story, but couldn't make it work. That being the observer to a surreal scene acted out. If I could write an erotic story. Based on a bank robbery and shoot out. I most certainly give it a try.
Secondly I liked the light switch change of emotions. From erotic to terror. Bravo on the juxtaposition.
5-*'s
by
Anonymous05/30/15
and frontlinecaster........
I hope you never comment again.Turd!
by
Anonymous05/30/15
hey frontlinecaster
You can call anybody anything you want. Just don't go ape shit when they call you the same. Want to dish it out, learn how to take it also. The only one missing from this conversation now is dear bonnie. The other two trolls already had their say. lol.
Anyone who comments anonymously, thus preventing anyone from calling them anything personally, is a coward who has nothing of value to contribute to this or any other conversation. But then, it's that kind of coward who tend to be wife beaters, domestic abusers, and the kind of person who cheers for child blooded murder and snuff porn. The kind of worthless cowards that the world would be far better off without.
This story was great. No, I don't believe in murder, torture, or violence against anyone. There are situations in which violence is necessary; however, infidelity or something insipid as a need for revenge is not one of them.
With that said, the raw emotion and imagery painted by this author was superb. I could feel the white hot anger of the husband as well as the debilitating fear of the wife and her lover. To me, the ability to make the reader feel what you want them to feel with the words that you use is what I call good writing. No matter if I agree with the story or not, I have to like the writing.
English
When You Say Flash Story***
Are you saying someone will get shot in the next submissions you have??
Meh
thanks for the offering.
HIS ONLY DEFENSE IS
I am still here. TK U MLJ LV NV
Faulkner not your thing
"something elephantine roared through the room and smashed into her head. Ragged electric torturous flaring scores of acidic flame ripped through every nerve ending Linda had"?!?!
That bird doesn't fly. At all. Long list of reasons why, too. Nor do things like "martial home", but editing is another thing.
Having said that, you are usually way better than this story. Keep up
Quick Lesson
What not to do when you catch your cunt wife and her jerkoff lover together. Killing is too easy. You let them live and suffer.
End of lesson.
a shrug from me
A story about stupid people .. Albert not the least of them. Am I supposed to learn something from this? Be uplifted?
The story does make me glad I don't know people like the ones in this story.
This is certainly realistic and is written grammatically well. Some of the subtle touches were well done in it's description.
So I will appreciate that part of it because there wasn't a lot else to embrace in the story. Blowjob. Death. The only question which was answered was 'what happens'. They die.
A scene. A good scene. But not even trailer length.
So he killed two people for hurting his feelings.
Clearly he was a real man.
WTF
UNFORTUNATELY THIS WELL WRITTEN STORY SEEMS RATHER POINTLESS.
unless I am missing something
You forgot "THE END"
Other that that a perfect drive-by story. Thanks 5 & FAV
Idiocy
Doubtless written by a weak man whose wife fucked another man. Here's a 411: your wife isn't chattel.
@anonymous "not chattel"
Wives are not chattel... but promises are promises... and she shit all over hers. It's telling that you don't perceive the deeper issues.
Murder is murder and is not justified. Violence is rarely justified. This story is sad and the violence makes it worthy of 1* at best.
Here's the 411 - wives are not chattel, cheating wives should divorce their husbands and support themselves before they betray and deceive. Those who fault "weak men" for expecting vows to be honored are the saddest of all.
Finally
Awesome!
R E A L ,,,,,
First, to anonymous, you're either a cheater, or doing a cheater, and praying real life never catches up with you. You get what you deserve.
This story happens in real life all too often, and a cheating wife is ALWAYS at the center of it. Too bad he never figured that neither of them were worth it. Bet she isn't so proud of her new-found skills now. 5* for being real.
Now what, spend the rest of your life in prison.for a cheating wife.
That is too extreme. There are other ways to get revenge without going to prison. It was just sex and he could have moved on. Story justifying murder for pussy. And some readers think this is cool. Would you want to sit in a cage for life ?, so now 3 lives are over.
Murder is might
And might is right. Albert had the might and the right and he committed murder.
He did nothing wrong on a moral basis. Legal? That always changes.
I remember the days when we used to flay and torture an adulterer.
Well I guess that's one possible outcome to cheating
But you tried way too hard to be clever with the words. And it just didn't turn into a good read. The last sentence was an example of something that just didn't work. Too convoluted an explanation of the fact that she felt pain. And not an interesting one.
What?
I thought this was pretty descriptive until that last bit about the elephant and the acidic flames. How could you fall so far?
Good Quick Read
The story was well written and tensely presented, but the plot was one of the oldest in the world.
remind me of news
I read in the middle East where the wife was stone to death but the male counterpart was visibility absent. I thought it was extreme á this case was extreme. The so call wife and dear friend was not worth the bullets that kill them nor the stiff prison time he will receive. He should walk in the room start packing her stuff and tell her and her paramour not to stop on account of him. Continue packing. Then warn t he guy, he already informed his wife and she is packing his shit as they speak.
I love when cheating pays the ultimate price, God will not save them either
Good For Him!
I don't mean that I condone murder.
But I get that cheap explanations are useless at this point, and I get the "disappointment" that there couldn't at least be some more "excitement" to at least SOMEWHAT justify her cheating.
And I get that once he killed the lover, she had to go too, his life is over, she is AT LEAST as much to blame as Keith, so if he had to pay with his life, so did he.
So..
the other day, my kid said something that humiliated me in front of a group of people whom I respected and respected me.
Well, I can't put up with that kind of nonsense so I broke her arm. It was easy since she was so young (thin bones)
Does this seem reasonable to you who are so happy she is dead? Not excessive at all? Is breaking a business contract a capitol offense? That involves broken promises too.
If so, I need to worry about that Book Club I belonged to back in the day. I think there are a few books I didn't pay for and they probably have a couple of hit men after me...
Proportionality. It's in the dictionary between Prick and Pussy. Granted, if it happened to me, who knows what I would do until I am actually there.
But most commenters seem to think I am not right in the head anyway. What is your excuse?
Well...
This site is supposed to be about sexuality, pleasure. Truth or not, murder, pain, mayhem does not fit in my opinion.
Crap like this does not excite me at all.
Used to think this author was better than this. Turns out he's just as much of a violent, woman hating piece of shit as the rest of the 'popular' authors here. This is why literotica is such a disgusting place where sad, lonely, pathetic little misogynists sit around and jack off to snuff porn like this. There really is no redeeming this site of the comments and ratings here are any indication.
Well Done Short
Realistic setting and response.
Thanks and please keep writing!
Realistic but sad...
Realistic but sad...Her selfish cheating destroyed 3 lives...3*
Gave it a four because it was accurate.
But Florida has the death penalty so he'll have 10 to 15 years to enjoy being locked in a cage before they snuff out his life.
****
frontlinecaster. WTF, man? You aren't forced to read "Literoitca" any more than the rest of us. Subscribe to "Readers Digest" or the like, arschloch. Good story, Vandahorn. Probably more truth than fiction here. Cheers!
WOW !!! For a short story you did a magnificent job. No loose ends.
You said just enough and didnt add anything unnecessary. Well done. #5
Good job.
Quick and to the point. I like that. Would like to see more from you.
Nice touch for those from Long Island. :)
@Whackdoodle
Levittown
Massapequa
Nassau
Long Island New York place names.
So why would it matter to people in New York state if Florida has the death penalty?
Agony
It appears to me after reading these comments, that many of you don't have a clue. The amount of pain a loving, faithful spouse feels upon finding the love of their life in the act of giving it to someone else is far greater than even the death of a loving spouse. The betrayal of all those thoughts, wishes and dreams of a wonderful long and happy life together are painfully ripped from you in a split second. The mental and physical agony is so great that common sense is gone
priceless
calling frontlinecaster an "arschloch." name fits him perfect. the cry baby likes to dish it out on the cuckie stories, but can't stand anything else. hypocrite!
5 STARS!!!!!
The best story on this site. The wife got what she deserved. Too bad all writers can't write like this. When spouses mess around, this should be the result. I hope you write another story like this.
Sharia law at its finest
The fellas in ISIS would love this story. It's a shame they can't get a wifi signal out there in the desert.
It appears to me that after reading the comments that the average anonymous commenter here is a sick, sad, violent sociopath. Wait, I already knew that. I just didn't realize one of the only authors on this site I actually respected was one too. I expect this from the violent misogynists like stangstar, carvohi or Iron Dragon, but I'd thought after reading his other stories that Vanadorn was better than that. But he's just another pathetic excuse for a man who should be more at home in some desert in Syria stoning women to death than trying to write shit like this.
getting bent out of "proportion" over fictional stories and the site that hosts them...
Is about as useless as ANYTHING that FLC has ever said in a comment, at ANYTIME, EVER. (Now we know who is fucking BonnieTaylor2!!!! 2 Trolls in Love, FOREVER!!!! Yes, only the extreme stupidity of FLC's ASSinine hypocracy could ever match BT2's ASSinine stupidity and her drunken psychopathic typos!)
Anywho, Congratulations on your return to LW, Van! The uber trolls couldn't wait to try to tell you to get lost, and that your story doesn't fit , nor belong. WTF do they know? Certainly not enough to think twice about what you wrote; only enough to clamour to the keyboard and attempt to pathetically villify you for it. What a shame.
As for me? I was very glad to see you back, and I am looking forward to your following adventures in the flash story format. I think this piece was good "practice" for you, in attempting top notch descriptive language. But, sadly, I must agree that a few of the images didn't fit quite as good as you must have intended. That said, without question, this story absolutly nails it with its overall tone, and clear sense of purpose. Despite some extra flowery language, you still manage to say EXACTLY what you want to say, and I bet MOST of your readers today DID get it...the message.... loud and clear. And this is even if they decline to add their voice to the other trolls clogging up your comments section.
If the age old question is: how is murder erotic?
The the question to answer your question is:
Did you miss the main point of the story? or even
Did you even actually READ the story?
Old Van put in a well described BJ scene for you pervs! What are you complaining about? Or is it that you are really pissed because he deprived you of your chance to get off on it?
Murders happen in real life. So do rapes. So does forced confinement and kidnapping. So does unnatural incest. So does spousal abuse. These are All CRIMES that are found in abundance ALL over the many categories of this site. Van is certainly not the first author ever to tackle this topic IN A WORK OF FICTION!!!!!
Get over it, those of you who take this shit way too seriously. And while you are at it, get over yourselves, if you think that YOURS is the only opinion that matters.
(you ARE entitled to your own opinion, just not the errant belief that it is the ONLY one worthy of consideration)
When I read a story like this, it makes me think thoughts like this:
I wonder, if more people thought that commiting adultery could possibly get them KILLED, then would they have risked the fucking around in the first place? And even if they KNEW that the betrayals they were commiting were against a man who was capable of murder, would they still enjoy themselves as much, even if they WERE willing to risk it? These are just questions....food for thought, really. Not anything earth-shattering.....
And frankly, I have no idea if this is what Vanadorn was going for or not. But what I DO know, is that this IS NOT FUCKING SNUFF PORN!!!! So Fuck ALL Y'ALL who try to convince other readers that it is! Vanadorn deserves more credit than that shoddy treatment, and so does ANY author, still willing to take a chance by posting in this category, featuring the most venomous trolls (ever to grace a totally free to everyone site) anywhere on the internet!
Now follow my example:
Thankyou for your efforts, Vanadorn. I appreciate you writting something for me to read for free. Please continue to contribute here. As you grow as an author, it will be my pleasure to witness your progress. What a great privledge it is to enjoy the service Literotica provides by bringing amatuer authors and anonymous readers together for a free exchange of ideas. Thanks again for participating in this great experiment! I am looking forward to enjoying more of your work. Have a great day!!!
Really people, why do you have to make this so hard????
flc is delusional
Calling carvohi the cheater apologist who never met a RAAC he didn't like a misogynist is all the proof needed that you have no clue.
Or are you admitting that saying women are incapable of resisting cheating is the true misogynism?
Well
that was a bit bone chilling. Folks can hate on this story and author too, but you know... this kind of stuff does happen. Powerful story.
Nevertheless, it is a stupid decision. Just walk and don't look back. The world is a big place with about a million women better than the one you are leaving behind.
Food for Thought
Firstly I have a Literotica account. The only reason that I'm commenting anonymously. Is because my comment will reveal where I live.
Approximately twenty years ago at a motel in Smithtown, Suffolk County, New York. An armed assailant kicked in a door at the above mentioned motel. In the room a man and a woman were having sex. The man was shot twice in his ass. The woman was unharmed. The wounds to the man were not fatal.
Subsequently it turned out. The man was a judge. The woman was the judge's secretary. It also turns out the woman's husband was a Suffolk County Police Officer.
The motel was less than three miles from the 4th precinct. The armed assailant was never apprehended.
No I am not a police officer. My trade is closer to Albert's. Carpenter, Electrician or Plumber.
It's just a story. But yes, these types of stories do happen.
Re. "These stories do happen"
There are a lot of things that do happen in real life: bestialtiy, incest, sex with minors, sex trafficing, etc., etc.. Dark and ugly stuff. No one is suggesting that authors shouldn't write stories based on such dark subject matter. What some (including me) are suggesting is that when readers read such a dark story about something as ugly as double homocide, and cheer the murderer as a hero, that reveals quite a lot about the sick and twisted mindset of those readers.
I don't believe this author is among those who are cheering the husband's actions in this story. But the way he wrote it, it appeared that he could relate to murderous intent as a reaction to having one's feelings hurt. That's a little disturbing, IMHO.
now that the way too stop whoring around
think about what come after.
"These stories do happen"
Yep, they do. Thankfully not nearly so often here as they once did, which is why authors like this and his fans seem to long for some kind of fundamentalist religious law, be it Christian, Muslim, orthodox Jewish, whatever, (they're all basically the same when you get to that level of crazy) where they can treat women like property and stone adulterers to death.
No one is trying to take your snuff porn away, just calling it what it is, and the lot of you what you are. Hope this author never writes again.
Liked It
For a Flash Story it was well done. Whether I like the subject matter or not does not matter as I like the way the author handled HIS story. I remember reading stuff like this in High School and College, ie, In Cold Blood, Crime and Punishment, Macbeth, and a few other out there like Virgin Spring which were stories that everyone called Literature. One does not have to agree with subject, events or outcome of a story but how it's put together and the thoughts it evokes. For me this accomplished all of it. 5*.
Good Story
Irregardless of the violent ending.
The story accomplished something I tried in a story, but couldn't make it work. That being the observer to a surreal scene acted out. If I could write an erotic story. Based on a bank robbery and shoot out. I most certainly give it a try.
Secondly I liked the light switch change of emotions. From erotic to terror. Bravo on the juxtaposition.
5-*'s
and frontlinecaster........
I hope you never comment again.Turd!
hey frontlinecaster
You can call anybody anything you want. Just don't go ape shit when they call you the same. Want to dish it out, learn how to take it also. The only one missing from this conversation now is dear bonnie. The other two trolls already had their say. lol.
Anyone who comments anonymously, thus preventing anyone from calling them anything personally, is a coward who has nothing of value to contribute to this or any other conversation. But then, it's that kind of coward who tend to be wife beaters, domestic abusers, and the kind of person who cheers for child blooded murder and snuff porn. The kind of worthless cowards that the world would be far better off without.
Wow. Great story
This story was great. No, I don't believe in murder, torture, or violence against anyone. There are situations in which violence is necessary; however, infidelity or something insipid as a need for revenge is not one of them.
With that said, the raw emotion and imagery painted by this author was superb. I could feel the white hot anger of the husband as well as the debilitating fear of the wife and her lover. To me, the ability to make the reader feel what you want them to feel with the words that you use is what I call good writing. No matter if I agree with the story or not, I have to like the writing.
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