Sweet Little Church Girl

BIG Mistake Early

"April?Larry?"

I didn't see this in a tranny category, so she/he could only be one of the two. I think you're missing a new line, & at least some quotation marks.

I'm assuming this is a true story...

...because, if it's fiction, it's a terrible ending. As Tom Clancy said, "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." It makes no sense that if everything felt "Right" and their divorces are only a year apart that they wouldn't hook up again.

Either way, whether fiction or reality, the story didn't make me think, "Wow, I'm glad I read that," at the end. It ended as kind of a bummer.

If this is real, I'd love to know why you never hooked up again after both divorces. Did you find something better? And what about affair lady #2?

Sweet Little Church Girl

In response to the comment by tnadnuder: I debated whether to use the convention of quote marks and paragraph change or whether to use literary license. I followed the philosophy of Hemingway who said, "I think it's a really good story and I think quote marks can be optional as a matter of style." I presumed the intellect of the reader to follow the story with the emotions presented rather than direct quotes.

I'm actually of two minds about your story.

It feels very true to life... there's a humility and truthfullness to the way the story unfolds that really does feel very Hemmingway-ish... or maybe more accurately Cormack McCarthy-ish. For example, that moment when you can't quite get fully erect because you are focusing on performance. That's such a real moment, and you never read that.

On the other hand, you never read it because it's boring. Or more acurately.... it's not at all erotic. Hemmingway and McCarthy aren't writing erotica. Even in a story with tons of sex, there's almost nothing arousing here. This writing style feels very noirish, and it's a style you should absolutely implement in other work, but if your goal is to titilate, then you actually need to titilate.

rather unpleasant people

who do not like their lives and go out of their way to make them even less enjoyable.