The object is not to get in the car and take it round and round the same bit of asphalt to the finish line in the shortest possible time.
This isn't car racing, it's reading that depends on writing.
And although the writing can be imaginative, you don't have to throw reality out the window.
Two cousins meet up again after some years apart. Last time they met, they were children. Now, they are adults. So what happens?
They immediately get hot and heavy and juices flow as if they were just horny cum machines.
You just wrote a story about two hungry cum machines. Everything else was nothing. Why bother with the cousin thing? It just gets in the way.
But if you want to do the cousin thing well, build it like a brick wall. Start by laying the foundation, then mix the mortar, lay each brick and make sure it's perfect before moving on to the next one. Repeat a few hundred times. Then go around and tidy up. Pick up the broken bricks you discarded, clean off the surplus mortar. Wash your hands. You now have a wall, but leave it to fully cure before it's perfect.
Write your story like that. The way you wrote it, the wall is comprised of one brick, a piece of paper that bears the word "mortar", and it's lying in the wheelbarrow where you thought it would be OK.
It's not a story. It's the bits that make one up, and nobody did anything to change that.
Not good at all.
by
Anonymous06/07/15
A fun story from one who has been there
My cousin and I did it for years...and she was the best...tight puss, great cocksucker, and no hang ups. Keeping it in the family has its benefits! Sorry for those of you who didn't like the story. It often happens just that quickly.
This is something I have wanted to do with one of my cousins for years. We tried when we were younger but we're always stopped by a parent. I have lusted after her for years.
You had potential with this and it seems you were too big of a hurry. No real character development. And, sorry, but 'd' cup breasts are going to show quite well on a small frame.
Slow the pace a triffle and I believe you'd get further along towards a good story.
You write a good story, I've read and liked a number of them, but in every case, you start off well, set a very good scene with the characters and location, but before you realise it, it's all over and finished.
Please, take a bit more time, think about how your story will look to the reader. If necessary, leave it for a while then come back to it before you attempt to finish it. Pad out the 'good bits' and give it a bit more time to progress. Develop the characters as they get together, don't just rush to the final climax - pun intended ! If you haven't already, find someone to act as an editor for you, they can help more than you might realise !
Take a look back at this, or one of your earlier short stories and re-write it with a bit more content. Try it, pubish it and see what reaction you get.
What do have to lose ? I'm pretty sure you'll be pleased with our comments in due course !
English
It's not NASCAR
The object is not to get in the car and take it round and round the same bit of asphalt to the finish line in the shortest possible time.
This isn't car racing, it's reading that depends on writing.
And although the writing can be imaginative, you don't have to throw reality out the window.
Two cousins meet up again after some years apart. Last time they met, they were children. Now, they are adults. So what happens?
They immediately get hot and heavy and juices flow as if they were just horny cum machines.
You just wrote a story about two hungry cum machines. Everything else was nothing. Why bother with the cousin thing? It just gets in the way.
But if you want to do the cousin thing well, build it like a brick wall. Start by laying the foundation, then mix the mortar, lay each brick and make sure it's perfect before moving on to the next one. Repeat a few hundred times. Then go around and tidy up. Pick up the broken bricks you discarded, clean off the surplus mortar. Wash your hands. You now have a wall, but leave it to fully cure before it's perfect.
Write your story like that. The way you wrote it, the wall is comprised of one brick, a piece of paper that bears the word "mortar", and it's lying in the wheelbarrow where you thought it would be OK.
It's not a story. It's the bits that make one up, and nobody did anything to change that.
Not good at all.
A fun story from one who has been there
My cousin and I did it for years...and she was the best...tight puss, great cocksucker, and no hang ups. Keeping it in the family has its benefits! Sorry for those of you who didn't like the story. It often happens just that quickly.
Love it.
This is something I have wanted to do with one of my cousins for years. We tried when we were younger but we're always stopped by a parent. I have lusted after her for years.
potential
You had potential with this and it seems you were too big of a hurry. No real character development. And, sorry, but 'd' cup breasts are going to show quite well on a small frame.
Slow the pace a triffle and I believe you'd get further along towards a good story.
Best wishes.
Nice story line, but .......
....The story is too short and too rushed.
You write a good story, I've read and liked a number of them, but in every case, you start off well, set a very good scene with the characters and location, but before you realise it, it's all over and finished.
Please, take a bit more time, think about how your story will look to the reader. If necessary, leave it for a while then come back to it before you attempt to finish it. Pad out the 'good bits' and give it a bit more time to progress. Develop the characters as they get together, don't just rush to the final climax - pun intended ! If you haven't already, find someone to act as an editor for you, they can help more than you might realise !
Take a look back at this, or one of your earlier short stories and re-write it with a bit more content. Try it, pubish it and see what reaction you get.
What do have to lose ? I'm pretty sure you'll be pleased with our comments in due course !
Go for it - and good luck !
Is that it ?
Is that all there is then ?
Far too short, this has hardly started and it's over already.
Nice start, nice characters, but not really long enough even for it to be classed as a short story. More like a short essay.
more please
you sure cannot stop here, so much more to cum yet in this hot story.
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