All Comments on 'The Intruder'

The story was great... except for the ending. Too pat, too cutsy and not in keeping with the story, I thought.

nice piece, good job!

Has Lindsay ever been split in two+ Then how does she know what it feels like. Perhaps nonconsent is not your style. Keep writing, try an editor. Something to flesh out your stories and make them more realistic.

A very hot story. I thought it was good and I enjoyed reading it. My only suggestion is that I thought she should've struggled against him more instead of giving in right away; I think it would've been better if she'd needed to be persuaded more. That makes it sexier. I hope to see more of your stories.