Not a lot of build-up, but pretty hot. A good, simple sexy tale. If you write another chapter, please continue to avoid unnecessary melodrama.
by
Anonymous06/10/15
Great story sound like they could have a happy ending keep it going
by
Anonymous06/10/15
This was fun, and I'd like to read more, if you're willing. Maybe Kelly has some hot college friends that she'd like to introduce to Todd, for some group activities ;)
You need to write one or three more chapters, for now keep out others, let thier love grow, and maybe have todd bring the girl to him for the weekends. And have end up together.
The story was well-written, and erotic enough to keep my attention. The question you have to ask yourself is if you can keep the story going. Too vanilla, and your readers might lose interest, too much too fast and you run the risk of "jumping the shark".
I look forward to seeing what you decide.
by
Anonymous06/10/15
More, I think
I like these characters as people. I want them to be happy and fuck a lot. Maybe a bit more actual romance and dating and flirting.
by
Anonymous06/11/15
bring Lynn and Kelly to Toledo
by
Anonymous06/11/15
more please
More please. A good start.
by
Anonymous06/11/15
MORE
More romance. More detail eating her pussy. More detail all the way around. Good Story
Although the language does not flow evenly, the story does. It is like a guy from Newark talking to a guy from Brooklyn, sometimes the words do not fit together correctly. These people do, and if the story continues at this pace, this should be an excellent series.
by
Anonymous10/11/15
Enjoyed the read!
I can't wait to read more. Keep it up!
by
Anonymous12/07/15
Great story!
Fantastic first chapter! Can't wait to read the other two!
by
Anonymous12/08/15
Keep writing!
Great story! I was a bit surprised by how fast she came on to him, would have helped the realism if there were more testing the waters from his end.
Easily one of the best stories I've read on here. I will be reading the rest of your work, as soon as my schedule permits it. Thanks for sharing your talent and imagination with us here at Literotica!
Great story. I enjoyed the back story and the hints throughout. Well developed. I enjoyed the way Kelly was comfortable with her body. Perfect imagery.
Here's a perfect example of why posting comments under the Anonymous label isn't a good idea. This reader may not realize that I didn't stop writing.... In fact there are three more chapters, with more to come.... yet I can't even send them a message to let them know.
I enjoyed the entire story and enjoyed reading it. Not boring at all. Nicely written and made plenty of sense. It is nice to read a story that has feeling and not a lot of grunts and groans and every other word is profanity. Words come to mind like adult, educated, believable, realistic, sincere passion with responsibility and enjoyable. Keep up the good work and looking forward to more.
Well done! You did a great job building the characters and actually having a quality story. As mentioned in the title, please make this a series, I'd love to follow it!
by
Anonymous05/03/16
Excellent
Excellent story. Reads like a New York Times bestseller. Congratulations.
that was great, I guess he will want Lynn to join him soon and bring Kelly with her.
and rent the house out until he moves back if ever.
Good reading, smooth flowing and full of passion with out too much crudity.
Loved it
Congratulations. The story is exciting from the start and your narrative voice is exactly right. I Would like to read more about Kelly and Todd and how their love deepens as it matures. Thanks for sharing.
English
More please
This was a great story so please come up with a continuation
Enjoyed it
Please continue
Awesome and moving
An awesome and moving story about real people. Keep up the great work, and please write a sequel.
Another great story from my favorite author
Not every story needs to turn into a series but I would love to see these characters continue to develop. Please continue this.
5 stars
Not a lot of build-up, but pretty hot. A good, simple sexy tale. If you write another chapter, please continue to avoid unnecessary melodrama.
Great story sound like they could have a happy ending keep it going
This was fun, and I'd like to read more, if you're willing. Maybe Kelly has some hot college friends that she'd like to introduce to Todd, for some group activities ;)
Many thanks.
I don't award many stories five stars, but this one really earned them all.
Scotsman69
wow. great story! can't wait for chapter 2
Keep it going
You need to write one or three more chapters, for now keep out others, let thier love grow, and maybe have todd bring the girl to him for the weekends. And have end up together.
I am impressed
This was a fantastic story. No pretentious build up. Just a real nice read. 5-stars all the way.
LOVED IT
NEED ALOT MORE OF THE STUFF, PLEASE
Definitely worth continuing.
The story was well-written, and erotic enough to keep my attention. The question you have to ask yourself is if you can keep the story going. Too vanilla, and your readers might lose interest, too much too fast and you run the risk of "jumping the shark".
I look forward to seeing what you decide.
More, I think
I like these characters as people. I want them to be happy and fuck a lot. Maybe a bit more actual romance and dating and flirting.
bring Lynn and Kelly to Toledo
more please
More please. A good start.
MORE
More romance. More detail eating her pussy. More detail all the way around. Good Story
More !!
It was great
Absolutely Loved it
Great story, Great Pace. Loved the character depth. It was an awesome read, from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing
More definitely!!
Thank you for producing all the good reads.
I most definitly want
more of this story!!! You have a way with words and telling the whole story can't wait for more.
Awesome
Please more this story is really good!!
Amazing Story!
It's been to long glad to see another amazing story
Great story
This is absolutely a great story. I hope that there are many more chapters to come.
Fantastic story, can't wait for more chapters
Very Good!
Can't wait for the sequel.
Doin' good!
Well written, well thought out, and well presented. Keep going.
frigging awesome!
This was an impeccable piece of prose! Don't leave us waiting for the sequel!
Excellent Story
Although the language does not flow evenly, the story does. It is like a guy from Newark talking to a guy from Brooklyn, sometimes the words do not fit together correctly. These people do, and if the story continues at this pace, this should be an excellent series.
Enjoyed the read!
I can't wait to read more. Keep it up!
Great story!
Fantastic first chapter! Can't wait to read the other two!
Keep writing!
Great story! I was a bit surprised by how fast she came on to him, would have helped the realism if there were more testing the waters from his end.
OUTSTANDING
Great story beginning, good lead in and it didn't drag like so many do. Wonderful story line too.... can't wait to read the rest!!!
finally
a tale worth the read
5 stars
OUTSTANDING
Easily one of the best stories I've read on here. I will be reading the rest of your work, as soon as my schedule permits it. Thanks for sharing your talent and imagination with us here at Literotica!
Great story!
Great story. I enjoyed the back story and the hints throughout. Well developed. I enjoyed the way Kelly was comfortable with her body. Perfect imagery.
great
Great story, full of anicdotes and lovely flashbacks
What a shame you decided to stop writing this tale!
You could write stories all the way to the little one went off college or more.
Author here
Here's a perfect example of why posting comments under the Anonymous label isn't a good idea. This reader may not realize that I didn't stop writing.... In fact there are three more chapters, with more to come.... yet I can't even send them a message to let them know.
Oh well.
Fantastic story
I enjoyed the entire story and enjoyed reading it. Not boring at all. Nicely written and made plenty of sense. It is nice to read a story that has feeling and not a lot of grunts and groans and every other word is profanity. Words come to mind like adult, educated, believable, realistic, sincere passion with responsibility and enjoyable. Keep up the good work and looking forward to more.
HIGHLY ENJOYABLE, LIKEABLE CHARACTERS, TECHNICALLY SOUND!!!!
It's all here folks. This story is a pleasant departure from the usual error-riddled first draft masquerading as a completed work!!!!
Please make this a series!
Well done! You did a great job building the characters and actually having a quality story. As mentioned in the title, please make this a series, I'd love to follow it!
Excellent
Excellent story. Reads like a New York Times bestseller. Congratulations.
Beautiful Story
Absolutely Loved ThevStory. Hope They Get Married!
Great story
that was great, I guess he will want Lynn to join him soon and bring Kelly with her.
and rent the house out until he moves back if ever.
Good reading, smooth flowing and full of passion with out too much crudity.
Loved it
Without a doubt
More. 5 stars. Favorite
Loved it!
Really great story so far-- now on to Pt. 2!
Great story well narrated
Congratulations. The story is exciting from the start and your narrative voice is exactly right. I Would like to read more about Kelly and Todd and how their love deepens as it matures. Thanks for sharing.
Excellent!
A beautiful story about the mysterious and magical ways that serendipity comes into our lives. Simply Wonderful!
Exceptionally well done. Excellent characters, completely believable scenario and hot sex. What else could we ask for?
asianToy
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