I couldn't get past the beginning. Some good aspects to the plot up to that point, develops fairly well, but the part that got me was the language. It reads as if a 13 year old wrote it. "Ta-tas", "gobbled his knob", a reflection on what you call a boyfriend after 45, just doesn't read smoothly. Make sure to slow down and slowly build too.
by
Anonymous06/22/15
crap
got to be one of the worst stories I have ever read, didn't even get aroused.
Hell of a story,when I read the line;Carlos grinned. He knew a bullshit artist when he heard one. Charley was throwing manure around with a big shovel, but he had to hand it to the kid, he was selling it,I damned near pissed myself laughing.Keep up the good work !!!
Not too much plot to this one, just gets down to the characters having naked fun together. I liked seeing the beginning from different character's perspectives and waiting for them to collide, but having the characters' unspoken thoughts in quotation marks along with dialogue and some of the word choices made for a rougher read.
English
I couldn't get past the beginning. Some good aspects to the plot up to that point, develops fairly well, but the part that got me was the language. It reads as if a 13 year old wrote it. "Ta-tas", "gobbled his knob", a reflection on what you call a boyfriend after 45, just doesn't read smoothly. Make sure to slow down and slowly build too.
crap
got to be one of the worst stories I have ever read, didn't even get aroused.
Good Silly Fun
Good fun way of approaching National Nude Day, funny and silly as it should be.
Almost !!!
Hell of a story,when I read the line;Carlos grinned. He knew a bullshit artist when he heard one. Charley was throwing manure around with a big shovel, but he had to hand it to the kid, he was selling it,I damned near pissed myself laughing.Keep up the good work !!!
Light Fun
Not too much plot to this one, just gets down to the characters having naked fun together. I liked seeing the beginning from different character's perspectives and waiting for them to collide, but having the characters' unspoken thoughts in quotation marks along with dialogue and some of the word choices made for a rougher read.
Fun Story
Light mindless fun. FYI. Current research shows a 5" cock is average. A 6"cock puts you in the top 10%.
Nice lightweight fun
Not a lot of substance but Ok fo a quick read
Did Charley get to fuck anyone?
He should have gotten to fuck both AMy and Mary
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