by payenbrant
Love, love, love this! Balmont was totally evil (thank you for killing him slowly and painfully....and inventively). Not sure I can describe how I felt at how he perverted the bonding other than completely repulsed.
You've been building the tension throughout each chapter and you delivered ...wow did you deliver! Not only did we have the showdown with Balmont, but the love word is thrown around and Lucretia is no longer a virgin. Mr. Brooks and Mother??? WTH
Greg is awake and what a way to wake up. Awfully glad he didn't hit the snooze button. I'm curious to see how he changes now that he's not 'broken'.
I freely admit I laughed hysterically when she got her horns stuck. You write a hot scene between them and then throw that in. Humor and sex is the perfect combination, imho, as long as you don't point and laugh. Can't wait to read of their further adventures.
Well, you answered some questions and raised a whole ton more. Excellent chapter
tossed out a window lol.
phew this felt like an ending chapter, but looking forward to more. wonderful writing and story!
manlychee
Yesss!
Saw the new chapter, waited till chores down then savored with a glass of wine.
Delicious and satisfying.
Thank you for sharing.
Amazing what a little bit of humor can do.Just you and max have that twisted sense of humor .Can't wait for the next chapter or even more for another co-production of your and max 's eforts.
First and foremost bravo! Fucking bravo!
Second, I am entirely pleased that this isn't the end!!!!!!!! I have a sense that this story will take trips all over the place now.
Also, I thought Greg would have gotten a wish because he was her first. I also thought that his wish would be that he wouldn't die when they consummated their relationship. But being that his power is so vast, I wonder what will happen now...
Again thanks for posting this and letting me read this utterly amazing story!!
The best thing i read in the whole fricking week
i consider it a gift
thank you for this
ps:the humor portion was good as well
That was awesome still love to have more of his dad as he was also awesome look forward to more.
Mother knows...........
I am near certainty, but I won't spoil it for the rest of you.
Absolutely love this series.
Nothing was said about needing to use the wish immediately.
In so many stories you have a wish = you're so screwed.
A poorly worded wish is an invitation to the universe to stick it to you without lube.
Bravo, well done. Once again you have taken me on a thrilling roller coaster ride across my imagination.
The ending however was the clincher. Suffice to say alot of people would have thought i needed to be admitted to a looney bin with my outburst of uncontrollable laughter
Keep up the awesome work
Great chapter, love the series!!
I really loved the way you ended the chapter.
Best one so far, I am glad you scraped your first try on this chapter.
Well done bravo
>first read- mmm hmm, yes, very nice
>second read- greg has a goatee, well there goes my mental image
Seriously though, great work. Please keep em coming.
Really good read, been checking up and waiting a while for this. Thanks man, you didnt dissapoint! And more to come it seems, best read on literotica ive had so far. :)
... and i must say im little bit dissapointed. Gregory is now overpowered to the point where he can solo demon lord and at this stage most probably so is hes girlfriend. That means this is the end of story because there is noone they can take on toghether. Another thing is i expected their "1st" time to be much more romantic than what we got. For me this story was much more romantic as a whole and resolved around their romantic relation and that mystery they shared. Here we got anwsers and totally not romantic sex that all make me rather not looking for next chapters of this story :/
I am too amazed by this story to even try to word what I am feeling. Love the story, keep writing, and don't let anyone who says bad things stop you, there is always one asshole that ruins something, I beg of you, please don't let that person ruin this story for all of us. Amazing read. Keep writing.
-Lucidious Rising
I ask that you all not call names of other people who leave what you feel to be negative comments. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, bit I very much appreciate you all for coming to my defense. I can only ask that those who did not like this part of the story to have some faith in me That I will stay true to the tale. However, I appreciate all comments... Good and bad. I enjoy writing stories that have a little controversy in them so I have a pretty thick skin. Let people say what they wish, as long as they are not too vulgar. Comments of others will not stop me from finishing my story... Hmm...
Well, if I got a publishing deal I might stop writing... At least here on liiterotica! Lol.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant.
I don't know why some people got their panties in a bunch. There is so much more that can happen. Was waiting for the next chapter anxiously ... Thanks for giving us another one. You should get published! I hope it happens for you :)
My earlier comment was not meant to come off rude or target anybody, just most authors get put off the story from people treating them rudely, and now I noticed my mistake in not stating that, so I am sorry if I offended, just don't want to see a great writer get put off cuz of jerks. My apologies to all if I offended.
-Lucidious
Brilliant work, man. Worth the wait. Keep 'em coming, this is one of the best stories I've read in a long time.
I truly love these stories keep them coming, take however long you need their awesome and worth the wait.
IF you got a publishing deal??
Please don't submit this story to any publishers, they'll definitely hate it ;)
[Make payenbrant believe he shouldn't send this amazing story to any publishers so he'll keep writing on here...check]
My heart skipped a beat when Balmont nearly took Lucretia's virginity! What can I say, you are a master at writing action. You ended Lucretia's scene at the right moment and slowed down the story just in time so my nerves weren't completely shot at the end, LOL. The scene at the pond was so whimsical and I've always thought it was fun meeting Greg's inner selves and their different personalities. And what woman doesn't LOVE being called a slut after sex?! :-P
If you get a publisher we will sadly lose you from lit, but if you get a publisher we will be able to buy your work. I am torn with wanting you here and wanting you published. lol.
On the neg comments as the saying goes You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time. I my case I am well pleased with you magnificent work. Thank you for posting this wonderful tale!
Wilhelmina (willieone)
Every time I see a new post from you I get excited. My husband even notices and laughs at me. The story is brilliant, I love reading it and can't wait for more chapters.
EW
And yes, loved this thank you and please! (I have a particular voice in my head when I say that, its something I got from youtube...yes, animals... duh!)
Anyway.. this is one of my favourite stories, I do always look out for it, so it you're gonna post more then bloody fantastic and brilliant! I will always be a reader.
F
I love this series it great and exciting I wish there were more writers as good as you and beachbum1958 doing incest romance
Seems like continuing the story needs to be the beginning of another book.
I've seem to have been waiting for ever for this chapter. I was worried that it would be yet another effort that was incomplete. Extremely glad to see it continuing, it's been worth the wait. Easily one of the best stories on the site. Only, please get "your" and "you're" sorted out.
you did a great job on this chapter, it went in a direction that i was not expecting and that made it all the more interesting. I can hardly wait to see what is going to take place next. Great work. Please keep it coming.
Excellent character development, stunning twists and just plain solid writing... Good work PB!. Thank you for your Herculean effort, I can relate with your earlier comments about how writing can take it out of you.... Hope to see more.
Well done well told. please continue. my thanks. for the chapters so far more to this tale me thinks. write and post when yo can. thank you again PB
CK
Any news of next chapter ????
Any updates ????
Come on man its about time you posted the next chapter
Love The writing ... Love This Story.. Now I'm Waiting On New Chapters :)
have read and reread all the chapters a few times now! i'm beginning to feel lucretia is MY succubus :)D
guess the next chapter is a couple of months off. maybe an excerpt? just post it here in comments :)
its been one and a half month man.
haven't you written the next chapter??
waiting
any update??
Hope you are doing ok with the next chapter and that it will be up soon. I am looking forward to it as I have been with the rest of this story
Where are you man ?????
its about time you at least provided an update
at least tell us you are working on the story
MS... Please check my biography page for updates. By the time of your last comment, I beleive your question was answered. =-)
I do try to keep my biography page kept up to date so please refer there.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant
It bothers me when people demand you answer to them, especially when doing something for free. I just want to say, I am loving this story and you take as long as you need. Being creative isn't easy, and you have to deal with real life first. I think you are doing a great job. Sorry for the anonymous post, I will try to make sure I have a real account moving forward so you know instant by what I say.
Umm it has been 20 days since your last update
an update would be good at least
Is there a problem with next chapter ???
Why no updates ???
Truly thank you for sharing this story with us! Truly a work of art!
as usual this has been a great chapter, i hope that you can get the next one up soon.
Nope... Not dead. Trying to get story finished. Had to cut a bunch since it was too soon to write it in. Had to add other stuff. Still working on it. Thanks for your patience.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant.
broh, can you give a specific timeframe of your posting next chapter so i could stop checking everyday?
please?
I would rather wait for his well crafted story than he push out something half-assed.
So many writers here do not care how poor their writing is.
It is better to wait for good work - not easy but better.
I wish I could give an accurate time frame. I posted an update saying it would be out the end of last month...THAT didn't work out! So, doing it the way I am supposed to and triple checking my outline so everything is in it's proper place. I feel like an accountant matching all the numbers and checking my math. Thank you all for your patience with me.
On the positive side I have been jotting out the outline for my next story after Mine...Yours. Not sure if I am going to post it on Literotica. I may try to sell it as an experiment. Kind of test the waters to see if anyone would buy it.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant
thanks! looking forward to the next chapter :) .
this story is quite a good one to sell, i imagine. after we get to read all the chapters of course :) .
if you are planning on selling another story, i'm curious what is it about briefly?
Payenbrant, if you sell your stories or write a book, I will buy it. You are a great author.
Favorited on chapter one and never regretted it.
What more can be said?
Jason
I greatly enjoyed this chapter. I will admit that you did trip a few of my triggers but the way you tied it up was very well done. I have my opinions on why Mother was acting so odd but I will keep that to myself. It was also a very emotionally satisfying chapter as well. How you tied up all the parts of his personality into the story and then resolved it was beyond excellent.
I considered one of my snippy comments but decided not to. It was simply a very satisfying chapter and is quite possibly one of your best.
To ms904191: No updates are due. I'm not sure why you think you are owed something here. Do you pay payenbrant? Are you his boss? An update would be great, since this is one of my favorite stories on this site, but payenbrant doesn't owe me an update. He could stop writing here completely (as some other great writers have) and would be completely within his rights. I'd hate it, but I'd accept it. Other writers that have stopped have said that they did so specifically because of demanding people.
To payenbrant: You're a great writer, and I'd love to read more of your stuff. Hell, I'd buy it if you published a book. :)
I have not stopped writing! =-) Got about 40 pages...(like...8 lit pages) written...
But no good ending. I swear i am going to get a paypal account and accept donations so i can quit one job and stay at home and write!
No...can't do that. Still. Am tempted.
It appears that a one shot short story involving William and Nancy is going to come out before part 13. Hopefully no one will mind too much.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant
Have just read all parts thus far, and I love it! It's a pity there aren't more authors out there like you.. go ahead and publish, I would happily buy it, and pretty much anything else you write.
I really like both your character development and all the different plot devices.
I eagerly await your next installment.
Cheers Ev
I love Greg's and Lucretia's interactions to death, and with the story getting so good the immense urge to see them have rough, romantic, up, down, left ,right, front, back, human, nohuman, magic aided sex grows to untold proportions. I hope I can see a lot more of it in the future.
which comes out next, chap 13 or william/nancy short story? chap 12 is almost a natural ending but i want to read moar!
thanks
I absolutely loved this series! It was very creative and contained so many delicious little nuggets!
I am the first man your sister will love...
Become...grow...learn...surpass!
To name a few...but too many to name. Thank you for sharing your talent and giving so much of yourself to this adventure.
Please hurry and post the next chapter, i have been waiting to read what you do. Hope it is not much longer
I could understand an honest case of writers block, but leaving a work untended for the sake of converting that same unfinished work into audio is disrespectful to the readers.
was going to read this story but i found it would be a waste of time. no sense in reading a story that is not finished or will be from the looks of it. it would be like buying a book that the writer never finished. shame to because it looks or should i say looked like it would have good to read. from bob an avid reader of stories on literotica but not this one.
This was a great story that is clearly finished!! What more do you want? The enemy is vanquished, boy and girl are together and happy and there aren't any major questions left unanswered. If there is another chapter added to this story ever, it will probably be a setup for a sequel. I would guess that when the author said it would be continued, they probably were referring to a sequel.
Guys, its obvious you are new comers to payens stories, as you have no idea how this works. So i ask you a question, don't worry its a simple question. Lets say you're extremely busy at work, possibly doing overtime. Would you be devoting time to this, or other matters during this time of year? Read his bio and it will clue you in to the fact he probably works retail, and clearly states that from holloween to a week after new year he is busy. So put your bitching and whining back onto the shelf and enjoy the festivities. He will be back when his spare time is.
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a have a Happy New Year.
As i like to go by,
Shadow
I'm actually surprised it says to be continued! I can't help but wonder what else you got in store for us. Maybe we might see the other sisters of Lucretia? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I honestly can't find anything to criticize because it was that good.
Now.. you mentioned you got death threats for not writing as fast as some people would like, what the fuck. I guess it just shows how badly some people like your story huh? There are some really good stories out there where the last chapter was written YEARS ago and you at least are nice enough to tell us you didn't die or anything couple of months ago.
Thank you for sharing your story with us and I wish you the very best
hoping for an update of your status or a chapter.
best
I love this story. I hope you going to write more in the future.
I don't know how I missed this chapter, but am so happy I found it now! *my inner Nancy is doing a happy, happy dance!*
This chapter was so well written, and I have loved the whole story from the beginning! Really unique, funny and mind-blowing,
And yes, so emotional too... when Greg finally picks up all the pieces of his frayed persona, and finally manages to unravel his broken heart was truly tear inducing.
I love Greg and I love Lucretia - brilliant writing!
...But, what about the Gatewatch and the enchiladas? ;)
xx
But worth it the chapter where greys dad took control was s little out of place but this corrected/explained that.
Keep them coming ... Faster but
Oh, that was worth the wait!!! *clapping happily* Thank you, give me a bit of a rest before diving back into the story!!!
The whole scene where Greg does his thing and surpasses... I cried. And then I cried again after the bowling ball. It was so well written, still gonna keep binge reading this series.
first you made me cry when Greg almost died ,then you did it again when Lacrita almost died. but I love your writing ,please keep it going.
Oh wow! So sweet. Quite perfect. I’m glad I got to this story so late it’s already finished :) I can relate to some other commentators impatience from past years.
This is not a genre I normally read - but I am so glad I found your story! So good and on so many levels...
I really, really, enjoyed it.
Thank you.
Jules
I agree with Omenainen, I’m glad I’m here late cause I couldn’t bear to wait for the rest of this story to unfold! Also, like other commentators have said, I’ve cried my eyes out at various parts too, you’ve sent me on quite an emotional rollercoaster. Not that I’m complaining :)
Being a hopeful romantic, whilst also being quite broken myself, this stirs a lot inside me. Thank you!
Rae xx
Just… wonderful! There are just not enough stars for this story, truly outstanding!