All Comments on 'The Nude Gun'

I enjoyed this story very much . Fun read ,gave it a 5 hope the next chapter is more of the same .

Not manikin.

A mannequin (also called a manikin, dummy, lay figure or dress form)...I always do a little research as I write and really prefer mannequin to manikin, but I dropped the ball and didn't realize I had missed the spelling that I really wanted. Nice catch!

Yes, unquestionably a great story. MS Spell Check accepts manikin, so maybe mannequin can be left to the more cunning linguists among us.

Outstanding story line. Please hurry and move it along before the batteries in that thing wear down. Does it have a recharger?

Can you put it on constant beam so you can blast an entire super bowl stadium from just rotating around in center field?

And it's very well written as well.

.....the rest? Excellent!

I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

First off I liked the story but the bit about the sister that part in stories always bothered me. For me I am looking forward to figure stories but bits with him and his biological sister I will look passed if I can.

sorry for the typo I meant to say future stories not figure stories

This is either going to be a fair to marginally good series, I hope. I believe this is the worse story you've written. Please, please do better in part two. Thank you for your other writings.

Great story so far. Can't wait for the next chapter.

In my opinion, this is your best effort yet. I agree with the incest comments and I like the lack of the description of the girls as bimbos. Both are unsettling. Suck and fuck them, but don't demean them. Respect whom you fuck. I like the story line and am looking forward to see where you go with it.

Can you say when we might be getting a new chapter?

You have me interested. Please write more!

I think the tag line speaks for itself:

"...year old male get possession..."

(Gets possession would work)

anyway. Your writing isn't absolutely awful and your storyline is alright. But just keep in mind that there is nothing more attention breaking than an obviously misspelled word. Your "taunt nipple" comes to mind.

The last comment by the racist, hillbilly redneck, you know, the deliverance boy knuckle-dragger. That was way over the line. The only thing missing was the banjo. I always find it amazing that these triple K wanna bees can spout this pathetic, zero IQ shit with a straight face, typically done under the cloak of anonymity. That and the armchair critics that have probably never written a single thing in their lives. Keep up the creative work, I and many others are liking what you're doing.

I could acturally imagen what adele looked like in the tank top and short S as they were coming off. Good work.

This isn't too bad, and other than a few typos the only criticism I have is that the characters need more development. Your main protagonist should also have a little more back story and better description of his physical attributes. For the most part I enjoyed it, but it felt too rushed once Joe got his hands on the gun.

I agree with the guy that said it felt rushed. With little backstory it's really hard to like your character. Harder as the story goes on. He seems like a little loser and once he found this power he decided to abuse it without any other consideration. I would not like him. I think he needs his ass kicked. Either way I won't waste time with other chapters.

There aren't many of these stories that I can truly appreciate, mainly because of the writer's grasp of the English language and horrible punctuation. That said, I enjoyed yours a great deal and hope you will keep up the good work.

i enjoyed this as it has lots of girls, no grammer/spelling errors as far as im aware, and its not overly disgusting and the main character is smart trying to use his tool discretely to have fun.

I think the main question that nobody asked was "Why would an alien culture come up with a 'nude gun'?" I guess that question is right up there with "why would aliens fly 30 gazillion parsecs to probe earthlings' rearends" but that one gets asked all the time. It seems like a good story and I hope I have time to read it then. Maybe that question gets answered?!?

Great beginning story. What to do now??

Indicates he's going to be sharing his women. Cucks are despicable. Only good for raising better men's children.

Great start to what promises to be an interesting series. I look forward to reading more. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Good job, thanks for sharing your work!