I am a bit confused with some of the written stuff. Why Ed took bella to a swingers club? Why Ed and Nadia went out? Why did Ryan straighaway flirted with bella. Are all part of bigger plan? I think Ed's chracter is very grey... but then its Bella's version... looking forward for 2nd part. I sent you a private message on some grammer mistakes.
Please be clear if you are writing an emotional story or thriller or erotica. Chapter 1 is all out emotional melodrama.
Thanks for taking out time to read my work. I am sorry for disappointing you and not submitting without proof reading or some grammatical mistakes. I will work on to I,prove as part of chapter 2.
Congrats for listening to the critics and starting over. There are some errors as others have pointed out but definitely a lot less than the first version.
The changed viewpoint also improves the story immensely.
I would still search for an editor to help smooth out the mistakes but a 3* this time.
As soon as her husband slapped her she should have gone for the divorce!!!! But no, she let him to habitually abusing her...No woman shouldn't that happen ever...for that 2*
by
Anonymous06/20/15
Arghhhh
Please please re-write IR again an
And correct the spelling and grammar 1 out of 10
by
Anonymous04/27/16
its great
Foreign language innacuracies lend more credibility tonthe story. Dont change. Hurry with part two. 5
English
part 2
I am a bit confused with some of the written stuff. Why Ed took bella to a swingers club? Why Ed and Nadia went out? Why did Ryan straighaway flirted with bella. Are all part of bigger plan? I think Ed's chracter is very grey... but then its Bella's version... looking forward for 2nd part. I sent you a private message on some grammer mistakes.
Please be clear if you are writing an emotional story or thriller or erotica. Chapter 1 is all out emotional melodrama.
Anonymous 1 and 2
Thanks for taking out time to read my work. I am sorry for disappointing you and not submitting without proof reading or some grammatical mistakes. I will work on to I,prove as part of chapter 2.
Please get an editor
This was a mess.
It's a vast improvement.....
.....over the original.
Congrats for listening to the critics and starting over. There are some errors as others have pointed out but definitely a lot less than the first version.
The changed viewpoint also improves the story immensely.
I would still search for an editor to help smooth out the mistakes but a 3* this time.
As soon as...
As soon as her husband slapped her she should have gone for the divorce!!!! But no, she let him to habitually abusing her...No woman shouldn't that happen ever...for that 2*
Arghhhh
Please please re-write IR again an
And correct the spelling and grammar 1 out of 10
its great
Foreign language innacuracies lend more credibility tonthe story. Dont change. Hurry with part two. 5
star man
Good start Ilook forward to more
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