Dragon (S)Layers Ch. 23

I enjoy the overall story that you're trying to tell, but it really jumps around too much. Just as things are getting interesting with Sarah, you started in on Felicia. Just as you were getting things going with Felicia, you jump to Ammy. Once Ammy was just getting interesting, you jump to the Cherub.

It's okay to have quite a few characters, but you need to progress the plot with them sufficiently before moving on to the others. So far, Sarah hasn't even escaped the lone scarred assassin that's after her, and we keep getting hints at her background, but nothin is ever explained.

The take-away here is more needs to happen before you start adding in new characters. Good luck

Synapsis

Thank you -very- much for your comment and be assured I take it very seriously. I'm going to be trying my damnedest to get things nailed down in future volumes. . . This has been a huge experiment for me and I'm going to make a ton of mistakes so these kinds of comments are hugely valuable so I can learn from them.

I've introduced just about every character I had planned to, so believe me when I say going forward I'm going to focus super hard on getting things right in future volumes and keeping things tight... It might surprise you to know there are 200k words in this story so far and I'm 4 volumes in-- now, the original plan was 7 volumes (each around 100k words) to tell an overarching story, but I don't feel as though what I've done really is in line with where I'm meant to be so that signals a failure in plotting on my part.

That said, I'm here for the long haul so I can still make this work and now that I'm aware of (yet one more) thing I need to work on, I can surely do so.
Thank you again for the comment and I hope you enjoy what we have going forward.