All Comments on 'The True Master Ch. 08'

First off, love this story.

But this chapter is a MESS, especially in the last two pages. Words out of order. Words mashed together. Take an extra day to proof if you need it, we can wait.

Really good story but lacking a bit in the passion department, maybe a little more cuddling?

I think your stories are great read. If anything I'd like to see you be a little bit more productive so I don't have to wait so long. Yes, I did catch some small imperfections, but if it means taking longer to publish, I'm quite willing to except them.

The themes and fictive world of this story are very unique and I find myself consistenly waiting for the next instalment, and caring about what will happen with the protagonists. As several commentors have mentioned before me, continue to improve the language aspect (it had improved for this part) and the series will improve. Hoping for more, or many more, than 10 more installments.

Another amazing chapter! One of the best stories going right now.

this whole concept is an intriguing one.I know its not in the scope of the story to investigate how society would treat this topic--but its an interesting thought how it would be taken.

Keep up the good work!

Been following this story closely and even shared it with my girl! Im loving it and pray you continue. Oddly enough for a erotic story I am finding I am sucked into the story itself and caring about the characters. Amazing writing!

....so distracting, I couldn't ignore it, nor fail to comment.

PLEASE, GET SOME EDITORIAL HELP.....YOU NEED IT BADLY!!!!

And could you move the story along a little bit faster? This interminable struggle against the impossible is getting boring. Either make some progress, compress time, or create a breakthrough.....whattaya say, huh?

Hey I am loving this story, the characters, the plot everything.

As some of the comments before me have mentioned you definitely should proof read to remove some mismatched areas (I noticed this on page 3 more than any)

If you like I would happily help you in this aspect as I know myself from writing a story, that because you know what is going on and how you see it in your mind, you can over look miss matches here and there easily.

I eagerly await the next chapter. It is a story not just a stroke line.

The worst kind of plot manipulation is making your characters temporarily dumb to cause something to happen. You wanted the doctor to see the implanted port. Having Marcus take Kate into the clinic does that but you don't give us any reason why Marcus would make that mistake. Tracy could have taken Kate to the doctor or Kate could have been coached to identify Marcus as the man who helped her get away from the abuser. I've had this exact injury coming off a mountain bike and I didn't seek medical attention for three days so the injury doesn't create enough time pressure to justify the poor planning. When you have your characters do something out of character the cost is the credibility and integrity of the character. Your crimes in this respect are no worse than Hollywood (in fact this would make an excellent movie) but you should aspire to do better. The doctor should make her discovery in spite of Marcus doing his best. Keep up the good work.

www.cgwilliam.com for updates.

Nxt chapter plz this is awesome

After the last chapter (7) I suggested you get an editor. Evidently, had I waited a chapter, it would have been unnecessary as you had already done so. Bravo. Chapter 8 was much, much better. Well done.

Your story is much improved with editing. It was very difficult at first for the massive amount of typos, fragments and dropped off words.

Your story is so much easier to read (and a much better story for it) now that you have an editor! Great work! I admit that I had stopped reading previously because of the incorrect usage of words, grammar and sentence structure. The premise of the story was/is great, so I came back to it eventually, and I'm glad I did.

you removed the orgasm restraint without comment