All Comments on 'A Simple Case of Infidelity Pt. 05'

For the finish.

Excellent, Francis is the sharpest knife in the drawer, Is he? I glad they finally got it together in the end

Usually I hate reconciliation stories because they are usually forced with no real insight or debt to be paid by the cheater. I feel like throughout all these chapters Leslie was conning, manipulating and admittedly struggling to get back with her husband and overcome her problems. I just hated the fact that everyone kept pushing, he had to find his answer on his own. By the end I feel like her debt has been paid off, and with no one to pressure him anymore he made the choice all on his own.

I just loved the ending. What an emotional. effective finish! Well done! You are a wonderful writer.

And I liked the way your first-person character described his mental processes "this was what I was thinking, right or wrong". No attempts to justify.

And, apart from "prostrate", remarkably good use of the English language. Authors (and commentators) who cannot spell or use the language correctly seriously detract from the message they are trying to convey.

L

takes your breath away, NOT

Please don't start submitting multi-part stories until all parts are written!

It's been over two months since chapter one, now I'm going to have to re-read 17 pages before I can read this because I can't remember the story!

We need to remember, are wedding vows,sickness and health, to be by her or his side,not to be selfish, what God puts together let not man pull apart, these are the stories I read on literotica.......

Loved this story up until the end. The ending felt disjointed and didn't flow with the rest of the story IMO.

The story lost some of the bite with me because I can't remember everything that happened in the previous chapters. I have a vague recollection but I don't have the emotion connection because its been too long. So I'm not sure if the feeling is lost on me because of that or if it is because something is lacking in the story. For that reason I won't score until I sit down and read all of them. I don't know when that will be, so I will just congratulate the author and move on for now.

not a bad story just not liking the ending. why go back for her if he just liked her. send the kids to check on her. just saying less complicated.

Poor ending. Seems like a Dean Koontz novel. Great story, but the ending sucked.

Great story, thanks for sharing.

Okay, yes, depression messes you up. Menopause messes you up. Drug mess you up. Anyone who has seen Wendy in Breaking Bad has to see that. This meth head of a prostitute thinks she is a good mother.

So...one needs o give some credence to her explanations. Some. Not much.

One really reads carvohi for the settings. In every single one of his works, he is able to get me into the mindset of Maryland and Delaware: micro cultures which vary from the Hollywood generic Midwest norm. As someone who lived near (but not a part of) 'Piney' culture, these little subtle salvors strike true to me. Since he specializes, he does a damned good job.

And I always appreciate the verisimilitude of good research. He either knows or can fake a lot of Park Service information. This is NOT easy and really separates the sheeps from the goats in writing. I personally want to bitch slap someone who tells me a Marriot has exterior doors to their rooms or that someone was poisoned by anaconda venom.

Leslie went to the one place she felt comfortable, happy and safe. Francis could go back to Oakland, report to the family that he'd found her and let them know where she was so they could go get her, then move on to his new job and get on with his life with a clear conscience. That would have been a reasonable ending.

Great story till the end. Left me with a case of "huh?!?".

Excellent conclusion. Finally the stubborn bastard stopped sulking and did the right thing. There are a lot of good sensible people in this story and they all knew the right outcome. Unlike certain of your readers.

Thanks for the story. Even the ending was good. How about finishing Revelations ?

" A simple case of infidelity" Not so simple after all! ;)

After reading Leslie's third attempt at telling her story, and Francis sitting there, saying how bored he was ... I myself was finally convinced. Yes, Francis .. you're a narrow-minded dummy, with the emotional sophistication of a teenager.

I couldn't dredge up any sympathy for him. But, what can I say, that's the way the story was written. There are dumb people out there.

One reads carvohi for the settings. He describes quite well the micro cultures in the Chesapeake Bay States. As someone who knows many Pineys and Appalacians, this is very well done.

Additionally, there is the verisimilitude of his description of the parks and ranger duties. He either already knows it (write what you know) or he can fake it well enough by doing research in ample quantities. This separates the sheep from the goats in writing. The three R's of Writing: Riting, RESEARCH, and...well, more on that later.

I have to give him some small credit. Drugs, depression and menopause all mess with your judgement centers in ways which seem pure bullshit to people who do not suffer from such debilities. And yet, I read about clinically depressed people losing their jobs, homes and their loved ones because of their own actions which they OBJECTIVELY KNEW WERE STUPID! But they could not help themselves.

Being in one's right mind is necessary for a crime. So a tip of the hat to Leslie on that. But to be continued...

Not funny at all. Was it meant to be?

Up to your usual standards

The ultimate outcome of the story reflected the loving optimism that I find so uplifting in Carvohi's work. Unfortunately I thought the last installment tried too hard to cram in so much extraneous material that the narrative focus was lost. It also seemed as if Francis came across as even more cold hearted and bitter than he had ever been before. Thankfully he found some measure of redemption at the end but he had already lost a lot reader sympathy. As an aside I must mention that I visited Bar Harbor over a half century ago and the beauty of the area has remained fresh in my mind ever since. I understand why Leslie found peace there.

said and done, that has to rate as one of the worst story i have ever read.

1). You are very repetitive and overly detailed

"This was bullshit and I knew it so I told her, "This is bullshit." "

This was 1 example. Eleven wasted words to slow down the narrative.

2). In chapter one, you SHOWED us this woman who was deft, manipulative and cunning in trying to trick and lie to her husband. She LOOKED rather aloof and uncaring about her family (what caring mother abandons her kids for 6 months?)

In the next three chapters, you had HER (the heretofore lying bitch) TELL us how fucked up she was (while reading every frigging turn she took on the drive,home...). We never saw it. It felt like a Hail Mary pass to try to reform he image like DeLorean suddenly 'coming to Jesus' when he was indicted. Cunning and resolute are not words I use in conjunction with drug addled post menopausal wrecks

That is why I feel the way I do about the characters.

Oh...and the Walking Hard On, who could not look at her without getting a stiffy? I know you were trying to foreshadow, but you might as well have put up a billboard saying "I'm Taking Her Back!"

I already talked about the vast injustice done to St. Priapus by his family and TOWN.

It wasn't bad. I enjoyed it despite it's flaws. But they seriously diminished my pleasure in the story.

The first chapter grabbed me. What happened to Leslie, the perfect wife and mother? You showed her to be a cheater who carried on a long affair that involved out of town trips with her college lover who she named her son after. When she was caught by her husband she denied everything and then ran away to her unloving parents and takes up again with Richard. None of the chapters really explain that. In the second chapter you blame it on drugs given to her by her mother but they had been estranged for years and there was no evidence of drug use in the first chapter. Then you blame Richard for drugging her in college and during the affair; you abandon that excuse in the final chapter. Now you make her into Florence Nightingale trying to fix Richard's broken penis. Is your final excuse she was hypnotized? I grew to dislike every character in this story. The internal conflict between chapters makes me think you were on drugs while writing this crap. Nothing in the story makes sense. You would have been better served by writing the whole story before releasing it in pieces. The first chapter is in complete conflict with the final chapter.

I could pick apart every character in this story with the contradictions in each chapter. It makes no sense. Get an editor.

reasonable man

What has Leslie's asshole dad and mentally ill mother got to do with Leslie deciding to fuck Richard, and Francis deciding to take her back for a wife? Leslie abandoned her husband and children when Richard came back into her life with some flattery and attention, and she abandons them again when she learns of her father's double life and his lack of love for her and her mother. But hell, she already knew her father didn't lover her or her mother. And what was served by her going to Acadia; and how was she supporting herself? She had already given away the money her father left her. WTF?

You gutted your whole story, setting up a grand finale in the last pages of the last chapter, that essentially had no connection to what took place in the 4 previous chapters. Truly, this conclusion reads like you had just finished reading the conclusion to Long After The Game, and decided to copy the sentiments and some of the words when Ryan declines to reconcile with Deanna. But then your RAAC gene kicked in and, without any rhyme or reason, he just walks up and decides to take her back.

What's really unfortunate is that you had plenty of plausible reasons to engineer a respectable and believable reconciliation. But this whole father's double life discovery was pointless to the plot. Then when you have Francis expecting to find her dead, then immediately taking her back upon finding her alive, all without explanation. And you want us to believe with this level of stress and shock she is not back on the drugs? Have you even read your own story about the characters you created?

No? Don't blame you. It is frustrating how methodically you butchered a good plot and ruined what had been a dramatic and interesting story. Better luck next time.

I am impressed that you were able to get so many friends to positively comment on the story. The fact that the straw arguments of drugs, menopause, hypnotism, unloving parents had nothing to do with what she did, how she tried to cover it up and how the community and family fucked Francis over. Having successfully dumped the bitch and getting out of the area you drag him back in. She trashed the marriage vows breached the contract. He knew her excuses were bullshit but you couldn't go with reality. So contrary to the facts, who your characters were and common sense you have them get back together. What a loser carvohi

I loved the story!

I can see where some would say it was repetitive and too wordy! But it didn't bother me!

I do hope you can continue this story and explain their reconciliation and give more detail on their lives going forward!

I hate to go back and re-read stuff to remember what's happening in a story. It took you too long to post the entire story. Then you got dragged down with way too much trivial detail. What the heck does her Mother's mental illness and her Father's problems have to do with the primary story? They were just endless paths that didn't need to be travelled and they added nothing to the story. Why didn't he get the Philly lawyer to help more? Seems the Nut House would have been more helpful with a lawsuit over their heads. The Aunt's tale was another example of a trail that didn't need to be travelled. And I find it difficult to believe Leslie would have just abandoned her kids so completely. That was probably the biggest hole in the story. Overall I just didn't like this as it turned into a convoluted mess. Next time a little more concise and to the point please.

So in the end he takes her back . He really loved her she admitted her mistakes right or wrong and finally realized how bad they were and how much she hurt not only hubby but her whole family. I'm not sure if I was in that situation if I could take her back but he forgave enough to be a close friend so maybe it would be best for both to reconcile because of the love they have for each other

the reason to accept the excuse. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks so far...

I expect the usual anonymous assaults, but I am pleased with the thoughtful remarks that came so early.

There is some confusion with one anon 'very reasonable'. Her son's name did not come from Weatherby. At no time did Leslie ever claim drugs, her parents, menopause, natural aging, or anything as an excuse and nowhere did Francis accept any excuses. He never excused her, but he did take her back. Now why?

Maybe I needed to leave more clues. How about some of this?

Leslie was a sufferer of 'clinical depression'; an ailment that is usually aggravated in the fall and spring, and may result in suicide.

Francis's visit to Woodrow's death bed gave him a glimpse of life without 'one's true love'.

Leslie had received a check for $210,000.00 but retained $10,000.00; perhaps just enough for a brief time at Acadia before her 'last act'? Yes, Bar Harbor is beautiful, but so is most of Maine. It's just so damn cold in winter.

Did Francis go to Acadia to rescue Leslie or retrace what he'd once had and lost?

Did he know the impact of frigid water?

Ever read Hawthorne? Talk about confused and morose. Leslie even mentioned Beatrice; what a clue for Francis.

When he saw her in the chair on the beach was it joy, or relief that he felt.

I wrote this story about Leslie and Francis for YOU to THINK about. I hope you enjoyed it. It wasn't JUST a story.

Now last; I will finish Revelation before the Fall, and yes I'm sorry i got into that. I have several shorter stories outlined where there is no reconciliation but with 'happy endings' for my protagonists. The dissembling spouse may or may not be burned. That will be for you to decide based on what happens to her.

I like to write this stuff. I like the comments even more. Just no ad homonyms. I know I'm a wimp.

Considering your comment, might I suggest JPB's 'The Wedding Planner' series. It should be right up your alley.

I was eagerly anticipating the ending. And actually thought Leslie would have killed herself, or have died. Kind of weird about the two old men and Leslie reading to them.

What was that about?

Well, at least he finally found it in his heart to forgive her or take her back, or whatever he did. You were right; it wasn't what we were expecting. But I'm glad the other didn't happen.

5 *'s on all times 5 parts.

That's 25 stars!

So no ad homonyms?

How about ad hominems?

Too funny, thanks I really needed a good laugh.

and may cover the same ground-sorry if that is the case.

This started so good, and continued to keep my interest despite the long delay between chapter postings. That is something you have to do, post all at once, It is simply too difficult for working folk to go back, get reacquainted with the story line, then read the new post.

Finally, re the end, good tension and drama but the resolution left me feeling a bit flat, like wow, what an easy cop out ending. I know upon some reflection it wasnt, but that was my initial reaction.

A 4 for your efforts. Thx and keep writing.

Great ending 5*

Carvohi, the ending worked. What an interesting story and a bit of a saga.

Thanks for the effort.

REALLY good job!

You are a wimp, but you're also a racist and a shitty writer with delusions of grandeur. You are writing porn for a bunch of bitter, angry old men, don't sit there pretending you are writing thought provoking art. You get high scores and good comments because the bitter, lonely racists and misogynists who make up this site agree with your views on race and your views on women, that's all.

The story was captivating from the first chapter until the end. Great job of creating characters that seemed genuine. The ending was perfect. He always loved his wife but it took a great shock to bring him back to her. What a great story.

I had to give it a 5 for the writing, but I think he was a total idiot for putting up with all that shit and then taking her back. bit of a wimp too.

Good, until the gratuitous condemnation of every African-American (6-12 or more) in the story. Puts you on n league with Hugh Lofting! Except for the epoch.

5*. Disregard frontlinecaster, the truth about the political shitstorm in our country is

a tough reality for some of these assholes. Kind of like there is no inflation.....yeah, right! Liked the emotional swings your writing gives off. Thanks

well written. I don't like a lot of the story, mainly because I think that it is a truism that most of us have seen. The more you try to do the right thing the more people seem to expect you to do the right thing as they see it. Happens in families, work relationships and with people that have just observed your efforts. Being a "good guy" doesn't necessarily make you weak. And the fact that you can see the political correctness corroding away at our lives doesn't make you a racist. I think that the one commenter that keeps pulling out their political agendas on here needs to find another bully pulpit. People come to this site to get away from all the unnecessary crap in their lives and for some troll to get on here and call all of the writers names is not cool, in my opinion. The last time I told someone to lay off of that crap I got some really hateful emails, from anony-mouse naturally. No place to answer back. But that's how it goes and I really don't care.

I didn't see Francis reconciling with Leslie, but evidently he is as damaged emotionally as she claims to be. I wouldn't want to ever meet anyone like his parents who have such unrealistic and hurtful expectations of their children. They were the truly despicable people in the story. We knew her parents were damaged and damaged her but his purported to love him and have his best interests at heart when really, they probably were disappointed in him and hated him and what he became.

So, Leslie was trying to rescue herself through everyone else and Francis was trying to live up to his parent's expectations of him, which were probably never very clear to him. And the fact that the head ranger job was given to an incompetent black man was just meant to exaggerate the injustice to him. Bet you are glad this story is finished, probably took a lot out of you to write.

I'm a big fan of the author, but this story simply didn't cohere. It had inconsistent characters and an out of control plot that wandered all over the place. It was as if the author was making it up as he went along and finally found a more or less reasonable place to stop. Not believable for a moment.

There's more than enough nepotism, cronyism and patronage in government job appointments without having to bring race or politics into the story. In fact, it's practically a given that the most qualified person for a govt job will never be the one selected for it.

Unless, of course, Carvohi just wanted to make Francis more unlikable by having him voice those thoughts.

What reality is that anon? The one where old, racist white men like you and the author convince yourself that you are the oppressed ones? I can imagine you and the author here reading the manifesto of the Charleston shooter and nodding your heads in agreement.

I grew up in Maryland, carvohi, but not in the backwoods like your character. I'm from prince george's county, and I saw first hand how much power and authority these supposedly powerful black men you're so afraid of there and in Baltimore have. Pull your head out of your ass, when you can't go down the street without fear of a cop shooting you or your children for no reason, then you can claim to be discriminated against.

It got into the characters of Francis and Leslie and illustrated the flaws in both of them. I thought the explanation of what Leslie's father did was too brief as was Francis' search for Leslie. I would have liked to have heard her side of that episode. However great story 5*.

frontlinecaster - Everyone can be racist, and that includes black people. We've all seen racism and bigotry from every group, don't get your panties in a wad that someone had a black person be racist.

What the author claims is that in a city like Baltimore, blacks are somehow in power and discriminating against whites. BALTIMORE. Does that sounds right to anyone who watches the news? Those evil blacks have so much power there that the police regularly murder young black men in the street without fear of retribution, and when a couple are called on it the police basically cry foul and start refusing to do their jobs. That's the city that this author looked at and decided "yeah, those blacks have too much power. "

Anyone can be racist. That definitely includes you, carovhi, and I'd say the lion's share of the readers in this section scoring this story highly. And it's people like you that are the problem in this country. I don't see any racist blacks in this country going in and shooting up churches, do you?

If for no other reason than that it has become a distraction from the story of Francis and Leslie.

I liked the characters; complicated and emotional.

I liked the provocatiive style and social 'commentary'.

It's fiction, folks.

Carvohi, I have enjoyed all the stories that I've read. Thanks.

This story is highly interesting and fascinating. The ending seems out of sync, but if you think about it, it makes sense. Neither planned on having a great future and they liked each other. Really the author does a good job at irritating us! Thanks

While your comments about the job situation were dead spot on,the Freddie gray case is complicated,three of the cops accused were blacks,so it is a lot more than racist cops killing a black man,more like cops whatever race they were seeing him as garbage and treating him as such. The cops have been indicted and the coroner ruled it a homicide,unlike other incidents.

Right, but since the indictments were announced, the city's police gave basically stopped working, with arrest rates down by something like 75% the result has been white, conservative leaders and commenters blaming all of this on the city's black community and calling the police blameless. For anyone to look at Baltimore and say that it is a city run by blacks or that is biased against whites is ludicrous.

Also, Baltimore is not a center of any of Maryland's government, possibly because it has historically been seen as a "black city". The offices of the state park services, like anything else having to do with the state government, would be in overwhelmingly white Annapolis, but then that little bit of googling that it took me to verify that would have taken away carvohi's little soap box to complain about the blacks.

This was an unnecessary plot point that could only have been included in order to allow a racist author to spout his racist beliefs to his racist fans, then cry foul when anyone questions him on it.

Let me start off stating my biases clearly and upfront.

I am more interested in where the author wants to take me then when I have preconceived notions on where the author should go. I wish to see where his/her vision of the world is.

I write. I write for me and anyone who would like to read my stuff (professional term here). I look for real people in the stories I read. I hang around people in the professional mental health professions and have that bias for reality. Let me tell you that there are a lot of pretty non-logical screwy people out there And they look normal for the most part.

I really liked this story. I am a sucker for redemption and people growing. I have to be, otherwise the world would drag me down. I've either seen it or have heard stories of nameless individuals that fucked up royal and made what ever amends and grew from there, as well as the ones that never changed or went further into decay. Some people cannot make it. This story was good as the husband ended up as his own person, made his own choices. He ended up doing what he wanted to do. As a guy, the additional pressure is real, and bullshit and damaging. He was not a cartoon cut-out. He was a guy, a guy that didn't have to be a macho SOB but figured out what he was feeling and how he was changing. I like healthy.

There is another point I'd like to make on the racial thing mentioned in the story. I'm from Chicago. I've worked private sector and public sector jobs. What the author wrote about is real. I've seen it. I have also seen it the other way around. I've seen it in the Hispanic community, I've seen it with Masons, with Jews, with Mormons, with Republicans and with Democrats, with what ever ethnic group there is. I've heard about it in small towns in Tenn,. and Kentucky and Texas where if your family did not go back at least 3 generations, forget it I've seen it both ways with the LGBT groups. It is part of the human condition. It's not right, but is is real and will always be real.

Good trip, great ending.

Much of the story was written in excruciating detail, but the ending brought so much new information to light that it really needed a whole chapter of its own. Instead, you rushed it through on 1/3 of page 3 and page 4.

I gave you a 4*.

The story wasn't about Baltimore. Honest! Been to Baltimore; liked the inner harbor.

What really irks me is these guys like Warren Buffet and his billionaire friends sending good jobs to India and China. Look at all the great people we have in W. Va., Ky, who're just languishing. We've got an Interstate system that puts those areas just hours from the megalopolis. Oh sorry FLC, they're almost all white and that's racist.

Maryland is a politically RED state with three BLUE subdivisions which have managed to ruin, oops run things.

Maryland's tragedy came when the state donated the land that became D.C. I've been to DC and sure it's nice, I guess, but we can build monuments anywhere. Sometimes I wonder what if they'd made Philadelphia the nation's capital. Then all that land we call DC; there'd be corn fields and there'd be soy beans, maybe a few cattle, and woods, and deer, and farms. We'd have a clean Potomac, and Front Line Caster could have grown up in Buck County or south Philadelphia, or Trenton, or Newark.

Here it comes:

1. Too long, too wordy and too spread out. Too hard to hold on to details over that period of time.

2. A messy divorce too long drawn out. Highly unlikely that no family members or friends would ally with him and assist him during the horrendous last months of his marriage. For this to occur, he would have to be a sad, loner sob or a bitch.

3. She betrayed her marriage, her husband, her kids when she cheated. When she gave the inheritance money to her half sister - she betrayed them again! Her husband had gone broke taking care of her! Her son had dropped out of college to help his sister, because they were broke from her hospital bills from her beating! Her son is going active during a time of war! Fucking great! This stupid bitch gave that money away! WHY?! There are many ways to betray your loved ones, she was good at it. She still didn't give a fuck about Francis, because he is a bitch.

4. I get why he had to go after her, she is a nut, but she is the mother of his kids and she might just kill herself. What I don't get is why he should saddle himself with this mentally disturbed woman for the rest of his life? He did his time, she continued to shit on the family, he should have gotten her to contact the kids and then called it a day. Instead he is going to take her with him? Why, so he can bitch about it?

5. The race thing? Yeah that is there, the funny thing is that no one has figured out how to deal with it. There is bigotry, and prejudice on both sides. White people can suffer from the effects of institutionalized racism as well. So what? Grow the fuck up and deal with it. If you turn your life over to a cushy government job, you will get whatever they give you. If you don't like it, try busting your ass in the private sector. You choose, but please don't be a bitch about it. This goes for black people too, I am sick of listening to the bitching. There are plenty of black people that have gotten their shit together and make a good living. They aren't crybabies. Crybabies, white or black - suck.

Francis cried a lot throughout this whole story, he will be crying until his dying day. Not because he is a wimp, cuckold that took his spoiled, cheating, whore back - but because he is a bitch.

I gave you a 5, if only for the monumental effort and overall quality of the writing of this tale.

I love your writings but the ending was weird . I had to look back to remember all the characters since it was a long time getting the last chapter written.

First, the scene where he is passed over in favor of the politically correct potential candidates is, sadly, true to reality, so that's a plus. The scene with the nun was a little... overdone, should I say. Nuns as holier than thou is less true than most people think it is, that was a cliche scene, in other words.

Finally, you dumped a ton of information on us in a VERY short amount of time and kept trying to show that Leslie was a good person through the other deeds she did, she may have been, that DOESN'T excuse her horrific behavior during the affair or lying to her husband. You probably didn't intend for it to sound like you were trying to excuse her by showing us that but that is how it came across.

The visit with the family, the information dump, needed to take place over a lot more pages, this chapter needed to be 2x as long as it is if this is the angle you wanted to take. Because of how short a span it was given to us in, the seeming acceptance of her at the end felt forced.

The good parts of this... the scene where he is passed over, him regaining some of his spine over the course of this, and her reasons for having her affair while commonplace, are realistic, so those are the pluses.

While I like you're writing and your other series, and most of this series, this ending just didn't conclude this particular series in a satisfactory way due to the issues I stated, this caused me to give it the rating I did because it was a mixed bag of good points and rushed points that led to an ending that didn't feel like a natural conclusion to this tale.

Sugna said it pretty well. Works for me. Cheers!

You misunderstood me when I wrote the meaning of "Portage". It was misspelled in the story. I merely corrected the spelling and at the same time gave meaning to the word. (Which was a story in itself -- sorry) Cheers!

I find your story interesting and very different from most of what is on Literotica.

I also thought it was a very inventive story in that you frequently had your characters doing something other than the traditional adultery, break up, find someone else, have sex, and try to get even.

However, a negative is your use of punctuation. It made the story confusing sometimes.

That being said, the most positive thing about it is that the story kept me interested and looking forward to the next installment. And that is what writing fiction is truly about--entertaining and keeping your readers interested. Good job with that. Thanks.

OK.... You did start off with a very powerful first chapter showing a wife seemingly going against her own moral code AND without any explanation. The revelation that the wife was living a double life and was engaged in a long-term affair with her old boyfriend was very well done.

The problem is that in none of the following chapters had anything to do with explaining what happened and why.

What's the connection to the drug use?

What's the connection to the disturbed parents?

What's the connection between her cheating and lying and fucking other men and none applause

There was/ is far too information the story for anybody to follow through unless you as the AUTHOR ... make those connections.

Your comment in the feedback section that ...."Maybe I needed to leave more clues.." is laughable as it is funny.

DUDE no one saw understood your connections. Reader after reader has asked questions about what the connection is between the wife's drug use or her bad family or or how her college life was connected to this .

CARVOHI dude you are just a shitty writer & you have "issues" when it comes to dealing with reality

The more a person like FD45 gets defensive about someone calling out the obvious racism in this story and in this section as a whole, the more clear it is that they know it's true and that I'm hitting too close to the mark.

And Carovhi's not even trying to deny his racism the way he used to, but then given his obvious sexism, his opinions on rape, and just his general attitude, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he's proud to be a confederate flag waving 'good old boy' as though that makes him anything other than a hateful, bigoted, sad old man terrified of change and of a future not run by people like him.

I'll say whatever I want about the readership here, because I've seen enough of what passes for comments here to know what allowing un-moderated, anonymous little trolls to fester has created. This place is just like some mini-reddit or 4chan, a bunch of foul mouthed, racist, sexist, obnoxious little virgins shouting hate speech at each other because it makes them sound 'edgy', and a handful of bitter, lonely old men feeding that hate and that anger because it's the only place they can express those thoughts and feelings any more without being called on it. This country won't get any better until people like that are forced to acknowledge what they are and what is wrong with them, so frankly it probably won't be getting any better of any more functional any time soon.

And Carovhi, the land DC is built on was half from Maryland, half from Virginia. And it was an unihabitable, unfarmable swamp, that's why they gave it up, and why DC was a nigthmare to build. It's also why the surrounding areas became predominantly black, because no one with money or the ability to travel actually wanted to live there, so for a long time the only people who lived in the areas around DC were those too poor to live elsewhere, and the slaves our founding fathers of course while they were fighting for 'liberty', mostly not to have to pay their fair share of taxes.

But, I guess like knowing that the state capitol and all the important government functions are in Annapolis, that would have required a basic amount of research rather than spouting off in ignorance, so I'm not surprised you don't know that.

Obama made me do it. Thanks for your comment.

I am NOT a virgin! We have six kids! Yeah we did it eight times; once to figure out how to do it, then six more times to make the kids, and well yeah, we did it one more time because it was fun.

....always with their political agenda and enforcing their idea of what is PC and what is not.

You, sir are not PC. Bravo!!

But racist? I think frontlinecaster has that one cornered. In my experience, the people doing most of the screening are the ones that invariably display the most blatant prejudice. Part of the MO is to use charged labels and emotional verbiage to excite opinion against the target and in favor of the inciter. Never mind, they get old and die, just like you and me. Only they go with a load of horseshit on their shoulders for their dishonorable and dishonest behaviors.

Now, as to the story...several odd twists, but I must say it kept me interested to the end. An end that left me a little distraught. After all that, all the anger, hurt, sarcasm, obvious manipulation by just about everyone.....this guy just sucks it up and goes back for more?

Man, in his place, I'd have cut ties with everyone trying to drive me to rejoin the cheater, and moved out west to work in some remote location where my skills and experience would make a difference, and settle into a newly-made life. Late to start over, but my god the co-dependencies in this story were epic!

And I still read every word. Um, please put a little more concerted effort into your editorial work. It got sloppy several time and suffered from a couple of consistent issues. I won't waste time pinpointing, since if you get some help or do the adequate work yourself, it will all come out in the wash anyway.

Front Line Caster you sure sound upset. Maybe you should go take a Xanax. Have you tried jogging?

Does your wife use estrogen? Do you know what they do to horses to get your wife's estrogen? Do you eat veal? I'll drink the milk but I just can't eat the veal, those pretty little white faces. I mean the heifers. I feel guilty eating bacon now considering how they treat swine. Do you eat pork? They tell me a pig's as smart as a three year old child.

Damn you know what I did Sunday? I killed a snake, a black snake got under our back porch. Happens every now and then. Ran out of moth balls I suppose. Honest, I killed it because it was a snake, not because it was black. Jeepers we have chickens and now geese. The dang snake would be in there eating the eggs. Sorry I didn't mean we use moth balls to keep snakes away because they're white. They keep mice away too. The moth balls that is. The chicken eggs are brown. Is that a bad thing? I mean killing a black snake to save brown eggs.

Are you a Ted Nugent fan? Know what he said about anybody who served in the military. He said anybody who served was either an imbecile or an idiot. Or did he say moron? Did you serve or did you do the deferment thing? Were you unfit for service? Ted screwed up his body so he would be unfit. Did you do that? I served. Does that mean I made my country better? Did that make me a patriot? Heck, one of my sons is in the National Guard. I'll have to ask him if he's an idiot, imbecile, or moron. He couldn't be a patriot now could he?

I understand now, carovhi is senile and just rambling incoherently about snakes and eggs and Ted Nugent. He is still an unapologetic racist, but clearly he's just not right in the head. So maybe it's not right to criticize. Instead, just get his computer privileges taken away before he riles up any more anons here. He can keep his confederate flags and nod along at the tv at how happy Charleston made him, just so long as his daughter who proof reads his stories for him steps in and stops him posting any more.

Frontlinecaster, you are the rabid racist you accuse everyone else of being! Wow dude! Just chill a little! He wrote a story that had racist characters. They happen everywhere in every nationality. Personally, I didn't particularly like the story myself, as everyone in this poor shmucks life shit on him, too much like reality for my tastes, as I read to escape crap like this. But I guess you don't like the fact that racists come in all colours. Everyone's just trolling you now dude, because you're acting like a racist jackass and they want to see what outlandish crap you'll say next. Lol!

What a strange ride. Others have pointed out some of the strangeness associated with Leslie's character and the story. Interesting comments as well. The twists and turns at the end were especially strange and interesting.

So, I didn't like the story much. Fairly well written, but the path was meandering a bit and the point was a bit obscure for my taste. Still, maybe that is better than it being patronizing as if the reader is three and has to have his hand held while he is walked to the point.

More interesting, the comments.

Frontlinecaster seems to have drank the Koolaid and is in full religious fervor. Hey, you mentioned the police slowdown being related to yet another claim of police abuse. I won't say occurrence, because I haven't seen the evidence, and if you think the media is unbiased, you really are crazy. Still, there is a slowdown. Of course, the same thing is happening in LA, New York, Atlanta, Chicago, and just about every other city. They are overworked, underpaid, and grossly under-appreciated. You could tell me I am wrong, just as soon as you get a badge and a gun and go do the job. I already did my time there. I am also a veteran...

You mentioned the racist shooter in Carolina. You didn't mention overall crime statistics which show that minorities are far more likely to be the victims of minorities than the alternative. When a white high school student was attacked and beaten by four black students in Alabama, no one in the media claimed it was a race hate crime. Probably because that doesn't grab attention as much. So, it's obvious there are racists, and just as obvious that ignorance isn't limited by the color of skin or ethnic origin. It's also obvious that what gets the most attention or media coverage has nothing to do with fact or reality.

However, in reading your comments, I picture a man sitting in front of the news shouting "Racist!" as spittle flies from his mouth. That vision then twists into one of a Rottweiler barking furiously, with froth flying from its muzzle. Weird, huh?

This was a fiction. I am pretty sure all authors use some license from absolute reality to craft their story. However, to suggest that bureaucrats do not operate with some personal bias in their jobs is a refusal to accept reality. As for the relative level of power of different people of specific races and ethnic backgrounds, the assumption that a person of a specific background would never do anything harmful, or allow anything harmful to anyone else of that background to occur is wishful thinking.

You assume that because the police of Baltimore did something harmful to a black man, then black people must have no power in Baltimore. That is assuming if they did have power, they would have prevented it, and that is not a safe assumption.

Then again, you'll probably just accuse me of being a racist, also. That way you can ignore the possibility that maybe the world is not as black-and-white absolute as you seem to have crafted it in your mind. I understand, it's a lot simpler when you can color in the boxes to make the picture clear. It isn't accurate, but it is simpler.

First, thanks for your service to our country. I too am a veteran, and after so much feminine hysteria from FLC it's nice to hear from a man. FLC has had the knife out for me for a long time; he's a very interesting character.

To be sure Francis and Leslie are total fiction, the use of the reverse racism was a vehicle to further complicate Francis's life. There was no other agenda.

To be frank I was really concerned someone might have castigated me about the use of Brittle Bone Disease. That is a complicated, expensive, long running, and painful malady that can easily be totally crippling and quite often fatal.

I've read numerous stories where authors have used debilitating diseases, quite often leukemia, to further their plots along, and I've never read a critical comment. I do find that disturbing.

On the other hand my character's racial victimization is a commonplace. Regrettably stupid, sick, and mean people like the maniac in Charleston use it as an excuse to do grossly inhumane things.

Charleston's a real tragedy, but as I watch the reaction across the South with regard to the Confederate flag I get the impression the murders might have some redemptive capacity. I believe there is a place for that flag; it should be found in our history books, in our museums, and during Civil War reenactments. Yes, it is a hateful reminder of a dark page in my nation's history. Our Maryland flag is also a Civil War flag, but it was created in 1867 as a gesture of reconciliation among Maryland families, Union and Rebellious, who'd all lost loved ones in that terrible debacle.

Our American Civil War is an example of 'American Exceptionalism'. All other civil wars have ended in the wholesale slaughter of the losers. This never happened here. Only one southern man, the commandant at Andersonville was executed. All the southern generals and their soldiers just went home; no firing squads, to mass executions, no post war butchery. As Grant said at Appomattox,"The war is over now, and we're brothers again." (Loose paraphrase.) That is a kind of proof of our special nature, the thing that draws people here. Heck there's even a place for hysterics like FLC.

Did you want the primary focus of this chapter to be on Francis, Leslie and how the trainwreck of their relationship got resolved, or on racial politics in MD? If it was the former, then you got distracted and ran off the road. If it was the latter, you succeeded. And I'm saying this without knowing the first thing about MD politics.

That woman is worthless. How he could fall for all of the bullshit she hit him with is astounding. He must walk around with a sign on his back that reads"Kick Me!" Her parents, his parents, and his kids are sorry excuses for human beings. They all know that the slut was fucking someone else and still gang up on him to take her back. He better stop seeing those stupid movies and give her a hard kick in the ass.

This was a strange series. It went all over the place. The bottom line is, in the end they are together again. Just before the end, we went from the ridiculous to the sublime. I don't know. Maybe it's me.

Because we have one. I'm not talking about the usual "real men vs cucks" meme, just about nature. The more people push us to do something, the more likely we are to get stubborn, dig in our heels and do the opposite. Eat broccoli, stop and ask for directions, cut back on fried foods, whatever. An average guy, pushed the way Francis was, would probably have ended up pulling up stakes and moving out of state by the end of Chapter 2.

Being from Maryland and familiar with most of the story locations helped keep it interesting during the drawn out narrations. The politically incorrect take on racial politics took chutzpa. I guess I knew your protagonist would be a pushover in the end and reconciliation was inevitable. Good show.

What the fuck.

I just wasted time getting to the end of this, and I'll never get taken in by you again. Really despicable parents, her's the way they treated her, and his the way they treated him with absolute disloyalty and a ruthless lack of care about their own son's life and well being. And those worthless children and towns people -they can ALL go fuck themselves. Just because Leslie is so pretty, and nice to most, they forgive her anything. ..including cuckolding her faithful husband over and over, then mind -fucking him. AND you have him pine for "her highness" and get back together with that tramp! Yeah, first and last of your stories for me.

Leslie show her true nature by running away again after she ruins Francis' finances with her health care and his relationship with his parents when they take her side. He learns the whole tow likes him better then Leslie show everybody she doesn't give a fuck about any of them. The inheritance is given to strangers. Who gives a fuck that her son may be killed because he can't go to college? How could Fancis do anything but track such a bitch down and hope to spend the rest of his life with her?

Don't do this to your revelations story you have damaged that one enough. Your best chapter is always chapter 1. Your explanations always suck.

I could write a long reason why I think that but why bother.

I was getting concerned for a while but you pulled it off well, especially since I know Sand Beach very well.

I can't believe I wasted so much time to find another wimp ass. Such a shitty ending for a story with so much hate, Guess ya had to be there:-(

A great story that fell apart in this poor, poor, poor final chapter. A real disappointment.

at the ending. After a good lead in during the previous four chapters and half of this, you suddenly decided to end the story and came out with the fantastic ending. In any good story there has to be some indicators or linkages to later events. You cannot just suddenly introduce new elements to a story

1. The father was a bigamist leading a double life.

2. The mother was a religious nut.

3. The daughter vanishes and gives away her inheritance (what little there was of it) to her half-sister.

4. The husband searches for his wife and takes her back.

A sad ending to a good story - fantastic following the probable.

One telling remark " I would have given anything to get her back". When Francis thought she could be dead, his true feelings for Leslie were revealed. She was his friend, companion, lover, and the mother of his children - those feelings do not suddenly go away. For better or for worse - this was certainly a "worse" patch

for Leslie.

He spent a lot of bluster to cover his feelings, but made the right choice in the end. One other remark - Part 5 was an unusual ending, but explained a lot about how she had been treated as a child. Carvohi, don't even listen to the negative remarks, let them write something. Oh, I like Mark Twain, too.

The DJ

I just got a psychotic email from an anonymous poster who did not like my comments concerning race. I came back to take a look at what was going on. After reading a lot of the comments, I was impressed by the authors active responses to his critics. Very interesting and entertaining. Was unable to determine who the nut out there was, but I am not concerned. I, like this author stand behind what I write. That is one of the reasons I enjoy his work so much!

I feel like the reconciliation was shoehorned into the story. This was a story that gave her literally every excuse to cheat. She was feeling lonely, ignored, fat, menopausal, she has daddy issues, and she's half crazy. How many excuses can you give someone to justify cheating? I also hated how it seemed like the world was against him. She cheated and somehow she becomes the victim.

How do you enjoy and hate something at the same time? I don't know but that's how I feel about this story.

There's an excellent story titled "Dig Two Graves". You should read it. Infidelity creates victims. The obvious victim is the one being cheated on, but the cheater is a victim too. They're often a victim of they're personal denials, fantasies, insecurities, and actions of significant others. No one wins with infidelity. Oh one may recover, but the scars are forever there.

Did you once in the story hear Leslie say this or that was her excuse. Francis mentioned many excuses, but Leslie never tried to excuse her behavior.

Thank you for writing, you have talent. In regards to this story though, I cannot conceive of any possible way that this guy would have not gone postal at some point during this whole progression of events. She never came close to apologizing, instead offering excuse after excuse, which is a completely different thing. No one, not even the wife, acknowledged what he had gone through, the pain. His own parents treated him like crap, he learned his kids helped to set him up and manipulate him, his boss pretty much conspired against him - was there anyone here that was on his side? I mean seriously, she's a drug addict that had a long term affair and the townspeople can only say "she is one of the good ones"? The story stopped being plausible somewhere around chapters 3 and 4. Thanks for writing.

I really enjoy your stories, I particularly enjoy the way you show the "Good Guy" coming out OK at the end. Some of your comments had me worried as this story progressed and I hoped you were not going to feel obliged to put in a controversial ending. Being from the UK I liked the way you described the locations in this story and I get the impression from other 'reviewers' that these are real and I really wish I had the resources to visit them myself.

I notice that you sometimes respond to these comments and therefore hope you can answer a couple of questions for me.

When he arrives at the beach at the end he says he sees her sat on a chair with a couple of old men nearby and that he had seen this before - what did you mean by this ?

Also when he walks up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders she turns and says "I thought I told you..." what did you mean by this.

Keep up the good writing, I have already given your latest "The unfaithful wife - Brads Story" 5 stars

I appreciate all of Carhovi's work. This one wasn't my favorite one, I guess because it was so bleak. I am a Pollyanna type of guy who doesn't like to see people suffer. To me, the husband is just too stubborn and unsympathetic. When his wife described how little contact she was getting and felt ignored, it matched up with how badly he was interacting with everyone around him. Taking a week to return calls, not really caring where his wife had gone for so long (even though he claimed they were "friends"). I began rooting for the poor woman to find someone else and move on. The ending was not cathartic enough for my taste, but acceptable. For me, I always figure the heartache and pain needs a little more relief, but Carhovi is like many writers who figures you should fill in the blanks. I like my blanks filled with a bit more happiness, is all.

In any case, I looked forward to reading the last part, and look forward as always to more Carhovi stories.

Carvohi, if you look at "Dig Two Graves", he didn't take her back. And it seems as if your saying that he doesn't have the same flaws as she did. They both would have insecurities. She put her fears ahead of everything. That's why I don't understand the taking her back. It's another story where the family is on the side of the cheater. Can you imagine your parents going against you? And if they did would they still be part of your circle.