All Comments on 'Another Unfaithful Wife'

First, I greatly admire your intention of writing a story in English, but within a couple of sentences it was clear that you were not a native English speaker. Your sentences are stiff and you use words that a German speaker might use. It is clear that you have (as we say in English) 'transliterated' your sentences.

You are also correct that the plot of the story is rather unremarkable. I would be surprised to see very good scores for this story. Well written LW stories need more plot complexity and better characterizations. We need to connect with your characters.

Good luck, and find an English speaker who will really do a hard edit on your stories.

I like the way this is going. It can stand alone or you can keep it going. Either way thanks for sharing.

especially when you have to use the same coin as payoff. TK U MLJ LV NV

Good story, theres nothing wrong with the words or whatever that moron said. Want to read more

I stopped there, not wasting my time reading something that is most likely going to be unfinished, going by what you wrote at the start, IT IS YOUR STORY, write it or don't but don't waste our time on a maybe it'll be finished if enough readers like it.

Loved how it was all planned out before he confronted her. Love to see what happens now

Marriage is over. No reason to continue this tale.

no rating

Whether you like it or not I've already decided to write a sequel. Maybe I can surprise you a little.

By the way, revenge is a major part of our human nature.

Concerning editing I've to tell you that Eric is a native American.

If you're interested in character development please read my romance story with 48 chapters so far.

He is beating her down verbally. and making her realize her mistakes.

as she thought thinking of Brendan didn't cause her pussy to "twitch". He has taken the Air and Fun out of her Affair and has her worried about what is next.

I would like to read a follow-up see how she deals with Brendan and her husband who may or may not have a Lover.

I would have liked to have heard from the wife. It was all too one sided.

A nice structure. But a little too cold and analytical. Maybe it will warm up in the next chapter

A hard way to go, but a fair way. She destroyed the marriage but he seems to be going her the chance to maintain a family home for the children. He is not taking revenge, he is only taking care of himself. She should appreciate it that he is not laying a guilt trip on her. He is being honest and serving her with the consequences of her actions. This is a realistic scenario that I have witnessed second hand. The natural progression is for the spouses to turn into cohabiting parents and then gradually into divorced parents. The interesting thing is how the balance of power is constantly changing in a marriage. If both members of the marriage are decent, intelligent and loving then the relationship never turns competitive and destructive. When one of the partners decides to start abusing their power the relationship starts to die. In this case, it is all on Linda, a 20 year old kid does not have a clue as to how to effectively seduce a married woman, she would have had to seduce him with the intent to get over on her husband.

So you are writing a sequel. What kind of surprise can we expect? Do they stay together, each screwing others? Does she stop, now that the twitch in her pussy is gone? Do they become swingers?

Damn. I guess I'm intrigued now. I'll be reading...

I take it from your previous work that you write a lot of group sex, so I assume it is headed in some kind of swinging direction. Thanks for the offering.

No group stuff in this one please. Awaiting the sequel.

Hope you keep writing

I feel the need to explain again that I delete every mail without a sender address immediately.

Please keep that in mind if you want to contact me.

Too clinical and without anything to make us feel the emotions going on. We don't get to sample any of the wife's passion, the husband's disappointment or rage, or the wife's fear at learning she has been exposed. A cheating wife story needs to be built around those conflicting emotions.

Really stupid, actually. No backstory, no character development and a billion miles from any feeling of reality. Read the stories on this site by good authors and you can see how lame your effort is.

but some weird sentence structure. Get that cleaned up and I'll give you a four instead of a three for the sequel.

Your English word choice and order give an insight into the German man. Some of your translated expressions are very humorous. You may have read Winterfrog's stories; English is not his native language, and the result gives his stories a unique character

stories!! hehehe He's such a asshole, Annony you cuck fag we all know you LOVE these stories!! Gave it a 5 for content and effort

Unrealistic. No plot. Cardboard characters.

@Sugna you need to check your comment and put it on the story it refers to or else read this again and think about what you wrote. AS TO THE STORY the language and characters were big turnoffs so I cant give it more than a 3*.

What the fuck was that 1

what ? are you anti sex? religious freak or something??? why bother writing?

no pleasure here !

for effort. However, his "solution" to the problem "we now have an open marriage" is not a particularly good one for something that was suppose to be well thought out.

Different than the regular mess.here..Well done

...und ich hoffe dass Du mit dieser Stiory am Ball bleibst. Das Thema ist entwicklungsfähig und macht Lust und Neugier auf mehr. Nicht kirre machen lassen; geh Deinen Weg weiter. Danke für die unterhaltende Story. 4*

It seems you are trying too hard and ended up too stiff with no real flow or emotion. Try to put yourself into his position and how would you speak? Keep trying.

If this was supposed to be a flash story, it was a poor one. It was a good effort, just poorly written. The concept that a woman can a good mother and a previously good wife, then mysteriously and suddenly turn into a slut does not make sense. Unless you include the scene where the Martians descend in a flying saucer and shoot the wife with their slut ray. Otherwise your plot begs the question, what made her stray now? A woman this beautiful is getting hit on constantly. So what was so special about this time? The other question to be answered is what is the husband's long term plan? Just keep the bitch as a house keeper, cook, and care provider? Why would he trust her now with his children, his property, his finances, and his health?

So, thanks for the effort, but try harder. In English.

This reads more like a stroke story than an LW. They both need to have their personalities presented. The coldness is not very attractive, either.

How can you let someone stay close to you if you no longer trust her. I know it worked in the past except for the infidelity, but what will the future bring?

but to me this was a different take to the usual cum sucking stories posted in loving wives, so therefore please continue. I guess too many readers got used to the whoring ways of women and wimpy husband stories dominating this category, to consider this type of approach. Well done Mr. Bauer.4* Danke.

Nice keep it going

Enjoyed the start with the cheating already discovered. There wasn't very much dialogue - he seemed to be reading a script. In fairness, he had had time to think about this and he caught her flat-footed. It might have worked better if he shared with her enough so she knew he knew virtually everything. Then he could send her away (Without telling her about his new sexual partner.) and tell her they'd reconvene to talk about the future. See what she comes up with. I hope the author continues the story - if he/she has a legitimate way to take it to the next step.

Story could have used better proofreading, and I noticed things like the following: "She was on the verge to pass out...." I would have written "...verge of passing out..." This kind of awkward phrasing appeared more than once.

Tags could be better - I find stories I want to reread by doing a tags search. "Older woman," "younger man" "college student."

please.

It's painfully obvious English isn't your first language. The story is choppy and difficult to read in places. The story itself is standard cheating slut stuff. Not particularly well told, but not horrible. You really don't need a second chapter. She cheated he found out. Done.

An editor would make you and your ideas superb with the change of view on the subject material. I look forward to more of your work!

BRAVO!!

The author intentionally started the story in medias res. However he used the husbands monologue to inform the reader about past events. All the husband should have said was, "You are a very good mother... but you haven't been a model wife lately... I know everything... We need to talk" On average women are better communicators then men. They catch every word, every nuance, why this or that word was chosen.

Ch. 1 could have started with her having sex with her young lover... how he makes her feel alive, young once again, happy and complete. Anothe nice opening scene would have been the moment when he first learns about the fling... how he feels, what goes thru his head.

Instead, the husband's monologue sounded like a deposition for child custody or (in the old day) for divorce proceedings.

Some people in their comments go too far in dissecting the language of authors. Sex, lust, passion, orgasm (& so on) are universal language.

What is important is that we feel the author, as a narrator or thru his characters, speaks from the heart, shares with us a wonderful, moving & overwhelming erotic phantasy.

GOOD BLUEPRINT FOR A STORY As other said. M more dialog would improve this. Thanks for effort and for braving the harsh critics of LW.

Five stars if it would let me score it

I'd appreciate to read a sequel. Although, for my taste, he seems a bit overconfident and unfeeling. Either he has never loved her that much or he hides his emotions completely. This seems quite cold and business-like.

would like to see you finish it.. 4 stars for not having hubby talk about how she broke his heart in too and he just wants to die

Liked it for a start. Too short.

Loved a couple of things; not a cuck story which I hate. Also, even though too short for adequate character/story development, I liked the direction the story seemed to be taking. Didn't want to lose the kids and he was taking action to remove some of his defects. Instead of whining, he admitted he had not been perfect.

Thanks for posting

Ed

Very interesting want to see where this goes. Is there really a Jane,does he intend to work this out or burn her and lover boy ?

he cries and bitches like a 3 year old and it['s always the same LW!!! stories. yet he tell us he hates them!! Bullshit annony we know you are a cuck in the closet, it's OK sweetie let yourself out and declare your sissy-ness. In fact why not write the story of why your wife left your sorry ass for a real man with balls and a big cock and a man who knows what he likes and doesn't !! It's OK sweetie we all know you want a mouth full of cum from a cream pie and then suck the3 source. I gave it a 5

another chapter would be nice to find out what happens between them

Very intelligent and interesting story so far and I would definitely look forward to a next chapter and urge you to write it . For an experienced reader of erotic stories I have found the key is to actually care about the various characters because you are drawn to them , and you have done this here. Let's face the fact that many couples have periods where the man or woman is busy making a career or they go through periods of time where they are bored with life . These types of affair have always occurred , when a partner no longer fulfills the needs of the other . I find Gary very mature and reasonable about how he approaches the marriage because it is more than just he and his wife , the kids do matter too.

Keep on writing please ?

BonnieTaylor2 your whoreness has blessed up with her unlimited knowledge of the way a whore thinks. All hail the woman that whored her daughter on Sesame Street, she works for the Count.

One more installment seems like a good idea.

Let's see what happens in the next chapter

To those who are saying his confrontation is cold and unfeeling, he is just giving back what he has gotten from her. He works hard to make a life for wife and family, and what is the thanks he gets? A wife who goes into a book store, and winds up at this youngster's dorm room, being plowed like the slut she is. She must certainly have been looking to cheat to have been so quickly and easily seduced.

On the other hand, two wrongs don't make a right. Hubby did not have to lower himself to her standards by taking another woman. But I can see where his telling her this would be turning the knife blade as he desecrates her.

I'm glad you have already decided to write more on this plot. I would like you to next take Linda's POV and share how she feels as her husband coolly confronts her with her infidelity. Then continue on to see if there can be a reconciliation, if there is a divorce, or if Linda ultimately dies of an STD she caught from Brandon.

5 *'s This is my favorite kind of story. Husband finds out about his cheating wife, confronts her, but doesn't hunker down and cry like a wimp.

Please write a sequel. I hope that if Jane is real, that wifey cannot identify her. It is more frightening for her to try to compete with an unknown, but sexually active woman. Also, wifey should now be worried about the time after the kids have flown from the nest. Good options for you, and your quality writing, to explore.

Well written. Especially like the strong characterization of husband that doesn't give in to further revenge or punishment for the wife's infidelity but focuses on the stability of the children's future. Well done! As others have said, please give us more - at least one more chapter.

Rather bland. We will see how the rest goes.

MCPO Jim

A pretty good start for a LW story as the audience can be very harsh and critical !

As per some other comments the author does need a good editor.

Good to read that the husband is strong willed and not a wimp. A good point was raised in the story in the wife is just having raw meaningless sex, and there is no future at all with her young lover.

The husband has found a new woman who is a better lover than his wife, more sensual, more meaningful.

Challenge will be to write a sequel were the wife tries to win her husband back. As the story unfolded he has all the best playing cards. Wife is effectively a limited cuckold. As all she is needed for is to raise the children and keep a tidy home. All marrital duties have passed to husband's new lover.

As per other comments there are to many cuck stories on this section.

.............for someone whose first language is not English. Your story definitely needs a second chapter to finish to tell. Please don't keep us waiting too long.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Brujay

Gary made a statement . what an impact. she now has to deal with her infidelity and his newly found girlfriend. unless they can heal this mess of a marriage. divorcé is inevitable. Poor Gary will still have to pay she gets custody, child support and the house and alimony the way our court system works. so please finish this story and give us more writing in this category.. thank you

A fine LW start. I'd really like to learn what happens. We need more good LW authors.

Hubby is NOT a wimp. By definition, a cuckold - but one who does not relinquish control. But he is also not an impetuous BTB type.

My only re-read was that it read like Sweetie's affair was a week old, but turned out that Hubby discovered the three-month-long affair a week ago! Quibble: within one week Hubby gets a shit-load of information about the Bull, the affair AND Sweetie's re-analysis of Hubby's sexual prowess. He ALSO finds a willing, responsive and appreciative new partner ... while hiring and training two assistants to reduce his business work load! Impressive!!!

Bigger quibble - agree with ANON that Hubby's soliloquy needed to be more of a dialogue. FjB even provided for that by having Hubby accurately guess and address Sweetie's thoughts! Instead, allow Sweetie to verbalize those, then volley Hubby's rejoinder back at her!

Delightful start. Only concern ... Is most of the blood in this tale already sucked out? Will any sequel simply clean up the debris from this massacre of Sweetie's exciting 'secret' adventure?

5*

Seems like an outline for a story, no details or dialogue. No real insights into the wife's thinking, kinda standard stuff, with no emotional connection (for me) to either the husband or wife or the marriage.

Please expand this story, there are many possible routes from here. Some people have said he should ditch the cheating slut. That is probably right in real life but this is fiction and anything can happen.

You may not think it, but your just writing another Cuckold story. Just because the husband is screwing someone, he may not be whining, but he still is a wimpy cuckold. He's still giving her permission to fuck around, so that makes him a cuckold wimp. Give the reader's a proper warning so we don't have to waste the time reading this shit.

More please.

Your speech (writing speech) pattern is really annoying. May be English is not your primary language and if that is the case, then your writing does deserve a little latitude.

Your story needs to die here as it has been done to death by many better writers.

*

In the case I witnessed, the wife cheated first, then the husband who was not really cheater material literally stopped loving his wife. He kept the family together for the kids sake. He told her he did not love her anymore and he then proceeded to look around. In the beginning of their relationship her stock was higher than his on the open market. You know what he found out after over 10 years of marriage and working his way up in the world? He found that his stock had soared. He had all kinds of women interested in him. He fucked a few and then settle down into a relationship with an attractive woman who he admired for who she was as much as for how she appeared. He quickly fell in love with her, she seemed to love him too. He was divorced in less than a year after that and married again within another year. His wife bounced around from boyfriend to boyfriend finding it difficult to be the custodial parent, date and work. Her life got desperate and she tried settling on a boring guy who had a little money. That lasted for about 3 years. She is an angry bitch who tries to blame her husband for their break up and her shitty life. When the kids hit 18, they sold the house and she had to move into a crappy apartment. Her husband lives in a McMansion with his new wife and their new kids.

More please and the divorce, and to destroy the two of them. Please write that ending, Please

story, but in your heart, do you think anything you wrote was sexy or erotic ??

you can stell a good story but sorry just an other author who did not get what literotica means.

maybe next time

This isn't erotica. It isn't erotic. There's nothing here worth reading unless you are looking for a litany of hate.

The Loving Wives category is defined as "Married extra-marital fun..."

Where exactly is the FUN in this story?

Ugh.

if this is the way you thought it consider it finished and move on, nice story and as always it goes to show its all in the head. anticipation of things builds and heightens a thing that ordinarily would be considered nothing special

I like Gary's response. I also foresee no divorce. I don't think Linda will do well in the future. Looking forward to the next chapter.

You may surprise someday. ' Mach also weiter und von mir fünf Sterne'

Harry inVA's Witness

and he replied with a calm that was as cold as ice when he shoved her horns back up her useless cheating ass.

she burned her husband, and he nuked her world forever. because now she will never be 100% sure what of she knows, or where she stands

never fuck with a disciple of scorched earth

Carry on. I'd like to know their future.

I enjoyed it, it was something a bit different. I think it would have been better with a little nuance in the Husband's character. He showed very little emotion, not much reflection on things, and was really mechanical in his monolog.

Rather than pounding point of information after point of information, it would have been fun to get the wife lying and him catching her one lie at a time, until she the truth was uncovered. Then in reverse, introduce his own freedom, forcing to accept tit for tat.

As to the huge romance novel, I read all of Back to Birmingham, which of course wasn't yours, but do a few more shorter stories and we'll see.

Chilley

Blatant stupid choices [while knowing the risk] deserve harsh consequences.

I liked your story, it was a straight forward story.

Well written and I liked Gary's response to her cheating and also letting her know what he was doing about it. Thanks for sharing.

He's definitely already done a BTB on her, though it's different than most of the ones you read here. I'd like to see this go at least another chapter. I'm interested to see if there really is another woman, and he goes to 'visit' her a couple times a week. Does the slut continue to see her fuck toy? Are there other consequences for her...or him? And I, unlike most of my fellow readers, wouldn't mind seeing a reconciliation, if her remorse and penance warrant it. But if a reconciliation occurs you must know your scores will suffer.

the plus factor is the plots, themes and characters can be developed. TK U MLJ LV NV

He already finished any thoughts she might have, or would eventually have, about any sort of reconciliation, when he told her that he realized that they now had an open marriage and concluded with the fact that he has taken a lover!

Second chapter...No, this story was quite good and covered all the bases.

As to those who want her opinion...what for, she already had one...Brendan. Now, maybe not, but she needs to start looking for the odd piece of tail if she wants a sex life...hubby just told her - No more with him!

Nice effort author, keep it up!

2ndThoughts.

no thanks.

Another monologue from a self-entitled hubby who feels his monotonous verbiage is justified because he was wronged. There is no perceptible emotion or dialogue between a couple who have supposedly been married for a long time and have a family. Where is the crying? Where's the outburst of raw emotion which usually occurs after the revelation of infidelity? Why does the wife seem so subdued or collected when her supposed clueless husband has pulled the rug from beneath her feet?

And just as we get to learn of her timely remorsefulness, the story ends abruptly with no denouement. 0 stars

Don't bother with another chapter

I don't agree with most comments...His monologue was clinical, cold, calculating, and casual, because that was the only way for him to achieve his goal: To destroy completely his cheating wife. Any sign of weakness or pain from him would give her a base for her to try to get him back...Like this she had no groung where she could make her way. But I agree that a sequel can't be so cold and clinical. The grounds of a sequel must be "emotional", or it's better the story to end here...3*

5 big *****. Declared open marriage. Why the most cheating wives have hypocrisy, when the husbands start extramarital sex. They feel in their deepest mind an TRUE open marriage a constant danger to lose their marriage after the youngest kid becomes 18 years old! In high % the open marriages go to divorce.

I think a sequel should show the life of this pair to the 95% probability divorce. Who will start the divorce? The likely is higher at the husband to start the divorce when his youngest kid is over 18 years and he found a newer long term woman. If the newer woman had kids (or he would have common ones) his second marriage will be successful in higher %.

It was good, though a little formal for a real conversation, but worked well. Needs a bit of editing here and there. Good job overall. I want to know what happens next.

i'm sorry, but this is awful. You can tell a man edited it because it completely lacks any verisimilitude from the woman's point of view. Dick size is a complete myth. We hardly notice and we care less. Anal? It's a badly written cliched section that destroys the whole edifice of your story. It's a mess. Tear it up and start again. Dialogue! This isn't believable. Not one talks like this.

What's next?

The story is well narrated and with a good grammar. The character of Gary is much matured,cool in discussion and decision. He has given freedom to Linda with an exception that the affair should not arrive at home. Gary in hear is sacrificing his personal life for the growing children appreciating Linda's nice mother roll. I guess the next part should arrive.....thanks.

It is basically a speech.

I have never understood the we need to stay together because of the children syndrome, and that is what we have as the crux of this story.

Enjoyed the story and the direct and harsh confrontation. Interesting characters and resolution. Thanks for the read. Please keep writing.

Maybe it's a speech like the other fellow said, I think you can salvage and it needs more. This is an erotica site so #1 it needs sex. I don't see how someone can write a story here with no sex. You can go write on the church blog with no sex The fellow Brendon needs to be drugged, kidnapped, feel some pain, then assuming he speaks no French, forcibly enlisted in the French Foreign Legion for life, And the wife: First get in super shape at the gym and have someone follow the wife and interrupt her cheating every time so she has no sex and make her really want your great big dick, then fuck her in the ass, ask some friends over to do her ass also, then torture her some more in some unique painful way and kill the bitch in a way where she can see it coming and not only don't you get caught, but Brendon gets blamed and you get the million dollar life insurance and live Happily Ever After!

......you struggle with spelling, sentence structure and punctuation as a result of not caring enough about your story to present it cleanly.

I found the,story a little brittle, but the,presentation was a considerable distraction.

I'd like to see another episode, but really, only if you're willing to put at least as much effort into editing it as you put into the original writing.

Oh, and you might want to watch your timelines. In one paragraph, you have her affair being one week old. In the next, with no clear indication of time passing or events padding. The time.ine, they had suddenly been at it for 3 months. Sloppy, really. Telling a story, you can't leave certain things to assumptions or guesswork. It is your job as the writer to tell the story with clarity.

Basically interesting, not unique and not as well presented as I would have hoped.

Leaving it with broken hearts and an open marriage is lame.

Please continue!

I love it when cheaters get their due. However, there isn't much chance for that marriage lasting very long. Even with having the poor kids.

she is just a dumb cunt, paying for her husband to take care of her with her cunt, then she makes it worthless

To emotionless. Too...cold. I can't even feel bad for him because I don't know what he is feeling.