“By the way, it's not a nice remark to designate your husband as a mediocre lover.” – While I suppose “designate” isn’t TECHNICALLY wrong here, but I presume you meant “denigrate”, as in disparage or put down.
“She liked his athletic body and his youthful appearance.” – And I’m sure Gary would like the athletic body and youthful appearance of a 20-year-old woman, would that excuse him fucking her?
“would never pay her back with his own coin” – the actual expression is “her” own coin, or “with the same coin”.
verb (used with object), designated, designating.
1.
to mark or point out; indicate; show; specify.
2.
to denote; indicate; signify.
3.
to name; entitle; style.
www.dictionary.com
by
Anonymous07/28/15
AUW
Well you certainly told us...and told us...and told us. This read like a shopping list with some verbs tossed in "for real live action." Of course, if you're positioning our hero as a dangerous man, then the toneless, flat quality of the dialogue fit perfectly.
Awkward writing. I won't read the next. Didn't do anything for me. You should have stopped here.
by
Anonymous08/02/15
Stilted writing by numbers
Sorry pretty unemotional writing, you need to improve vastly 1*
by
Anonymous08/07/15
I like the idea behind this story but ...
Congrats. The idea for this story is very good. Four out of five. I really liked the way the husband didn't get drunk, have an emotional breakdown or run away when he discovered his wife was cheating. I like the concept of him confronting her with the new reality. But as other commentors have noted this story was almost too emotionless. You can have the dialogue as it is but it should be interspaced with some emotional suffering on his part. Also her horrified reaction was sort of condensed into the middle and the end. It would have been better if she had reacted a few times in the middle of his diatribe. I also found some of the dialogue to be a little oddly worded. Is it possible the author has English as a second language? Regardless it was interesting and I look forward to reading the next chapter. Cheers Steve
It seems that the wife should have had more dialogue. I assume the author's first language is not English - at times I thought I was reading a WINTERFROG story.
"...found out a week ago his wife had ..."
Delaying the 'a week ago' qualifier implies that the affair (in place for several months) started a week ago; not that his discovery was a week ago.
And one I can completely get behind. When I found my wife was fucking her old boyfriend, I took a different tact.
I cut off all interaction with her. All of it. When I first learned of it, at that moment our marriage was over, although we had two children, 5 and 8. She had her first inkling something was wrong when I was moving my things out of the master bedroom and downstairs into the basement where I had set up a brand new bed and bedroom set. Following me downstairs as I carried my stuff, she was almost hysterical the longer we went without me responding. When she saw my bedroom set and a pile of lumber and sheetrock to build a room, she lost it.
I never responded to her. By the time I had everything moved downstairs, she was sitting in the living room staring at a TV that hadn't been turned on. She knew and she knew that I knew. After I was done, I went back upstairs to play with the kids before dinner, which I already had in the oven. You see, I'd had to cook dinner because she was off with horse-cock Tom, her old boyfriend, between work and home. I had even drove by to see her car sitting at his house.
That first night not a word was said. When the kids were in bed, I simply retired to the basement. She didn't follow me and I assumed she had went to bed in our old bed. When I got up and prepared for work the next morning, Friday, I found her sleeping on the couch. I didn't wake her and simply left for work. You see, she had been fucking Tom for at least 20 weeks that I knew of, so that meant it was no fling, although even a fling was enough to destroy our marriage. When I came home on that Friday evening I found a few things different. One, she had moved all my things back upstairs and put them back in the master bedroom. Two, she had taken the day off work and three, she had made a wonderful dinner. Jodi could hardly meet my eyes all through dinner, even though I seldom glanced at her.
I didn't speak to her again. At all. In fact, since I'd brought the entire episode into the open, I hadn't spoke a single word to her. But I did sit down with the kids and her for dinner, after which I took a book and retired to my bedroom, at least she hadn't stripped the bed. Thankfully, I had put a small lock on the inside of the door that led downstairs and heard her try the door, giving up when she realized it was locked.
Saturday morning found the house abuzzing! Four of my workmates showed up early and I was prepared and let them in. Within minutes, tools were moved downstairs, my stuff covered with plastic and we began building a bedroom and a bathroom, also, wiring and plumbing it for a kitchenette. When Jodi came downstairs to see what was going on, everyone ignored that she was even there and after realizing what was happening, retreated in tears. I simply could not have cared less. We put in a long hard day and my friends left, promising to be there the next day. I simply locked the door behind them and collapsed into my bed.
Sunday morning I was awoke with banging on the door and the guys were already there. They had already stopped by Lowe's and had all sorts of stuff to install, and by the time I was ready for bed that evening, I had walls already mudded and ready to be wet sanded when they dried, a toilet, showed and sink installed and the tiny kitchenette was open for business too! Monday morning I was out the door and off to work before anyone else was up. I left a calling card on my way out. An 8x11 glossy photo of my wife riding Tom's horse-cock, up close and personal. The camera's we'd installed at his house were fantastic.
When I got home that Monday night I was not sure what I might encounter. Anger? Sadness? Self loathing? Didn't know, really didn't care. But it was anger. Rage even! Jodi was in my face, screaming at me that I shouldn't have set something out where the kids could have seen it and if I was angry, to take it out on her, not the kids. I ignored her as if she wasn't within 500 miles, let alone 5". Jodi had taken it upon herself to cut me out of our marriage, I was merely finishing the job.
The evening was spent with the kids, all four of us had dinner together and watched television. The kids were excited about my 'fort' downstairs and asked if they could come down with me. We went downstairs and played and I put them to bed and retired to a better locked door downstairs. And that began our new lives. Each morning I set a new photo out on the table and she would scream at me if the kids weren't there each evening when I came home. It was always of her with Tom's cock inside of her or in her hand. My favorite was a really clear shot we'd gotten of her on her knees, one hand cradling his balls, the other wrapped around the shaft, her mouth sucking on the head and she was looking up at him like she was enraptured. I put that one out many times each morning when she had been particularly verbally abusive the previous evening. It didn't take her long to figure it out.
The next weekend saw my friends hard back at work. Wet sanding, remudding, finishing the bathroom and kitchen and by Sunday night, everything was done with the exception of me waiting to paint it, something I could do by myself. During the next week, I finished with all the painting and also bought all the kitchen utensils I needed. You see, I wasn't going to use anything from the upstairs kitchen, that was her shit and she could keep it. During that week I also had to take one day off and meet with the cable guys and I had TV! I also had to buy a new TV too and went out and bought a 65", in direct contrast to the 32" model we used upstairs that Jodi swore was big enough. The instant the kids saw the one in my room, guess where they wanted to be!
To that point I had yet to utter a single word to my wife. Friends who were keeping watch on her said she had ceased stopping by Tom's house. I found it strangely titillating when I heard someone had beat the hell of him and he was in the hospital while the police pursued every lead they were aware of. It turned out he was injured worse than it looked, with one ball being removed and lacerations to his liver. I guess he'd taken a lot of soft tissue blows. After my wife learned he was hospitalized, she didn't say anything to me, but began to keep her distance. Don't ask, don't tell was the mantra at our house.
After about three months cock-free, at least that I knew of, she started acting a bit sexy, as if she could fix things with her cunt. Nope, that thing was what led us to our current problems and I wasn't having anything to do with her. One night after I was coming out of the kids bedroom, she stepped in front of me in the hall, wearing nothing but a see-through negligee. I guess she thought that's all she had to do to repair our life but I simply walked past her and went to bed. Jodi continued to try and woo me, touching me only a few times before she realized how revulsive her touch was to me. When I jerked back, I guess the look on my face was of disgust and perhaps it was at that moment that she understood what she'd done. Her touch absolutely grossed me out. When she did that, she would find a picture on the kitchen table the next morning showing her reaching out and touching Tom, with a look of complete adoration on her face.
Tom was something I didn't understand. He had popped her cherry when they were in high school together and rode her like a racehorse all through school, according to others that went to school with them. If he wanted to fuck, she made herself available. More than once, other kids saw them come out of a custodians closet fixing their clothes and hair. At parties, he would take her out to his car, into a bedroom, wherever he could to have her make him cum. They could be seen fucking if you just wanted to go out to his '66 Camaro. But then he cheated on her, twice. And with her best friend. They broke it off, got back together when he got horny and needed to get off, then split up again when he gave her the clap. Yet here she was, cheating on me with her old cheater.
I realize now, it was all about his cock size. I never really considered anything like that, being pretty happy with my own dick, 7"x6". Reasonably long, relatively thick. But Tom's was in another stratosphere according to guys he'd went to school with, the story was he was over 8" long and over 7" around. That my friends, is a horse cock. And to think Jodi lost her tight little cherry to that behemoth? Ugh. I'm not saying I rattled around when we first got together, but lets just say childbirth didn't loosen her anymore.
Tom moved away after his beating, the word on the street was he'd been warned it would be best for his health. Jodi didn't seem to suffer any but I simply didn't care. She put on the full court press after about 6 months, even presenting herself once on my bed when I least expected it, up on her knees and legs spread wide, she knew my favorite position was doggy style. Its odd, I didn't even have a twitch in my cock, I reacted the way I really felt and grabbing her by her arm, finally spoke to her for the first time since everything came out. "Get your filthy diseased cunt off my bed, you're not going to infect this one too." I guess that might be the moment she understood that I knew she and Tom had fucked in my bed. She was hysterical when she went up the stairs and I couldn't have cared less.
We were roommates from then on. Except that we didn't speak to one another. The kids absolutely adored my new apartment downstairs and spent little time with their mother over the next six months and it was when school was out and the kids would be out of school that I came home and found the note.
'Dear Geoff,
I regret with every fiber of my being what I did to you, to us and to our family. Until I made the mistake of seeing Tom when he stopped by my work and invited me out for a drink, I've never felt so loved or had a more perfect life. We truly had the perfect life, until I messed it up. Yes, I am taking full responsibility for my actions actions that has destroyed our family. After that first drink I had with Tom, my old desires for him came flooding out and I didn't have any control over myself and became the slut that loved to be pounded by him.
My love, I lost all respect for myself but I couldn't stop. I know you'll think this was about cock size but it wasn't. He treated me like a cunt to be used and I fell for it again. It was like a dream, or nightmare, that I couldn't escape until the moment I realized you knew. My husband who I have adored from the moment I met him, knew that I was cheating on him, spreading my legs willingly for another man. I should have known how you would react.
Geoff, I filed for divorce and have signed everything and you'll find it all on the mantle above the fireplace. I've taken nothing but my clothes, I deserve no more. Hell, I probably don't even deserve to leave wearing clothes. Everything has been signed over to you but my car and that only because I needed a way to leave you in peace. Please, take care of the kids and let them know I didn't leave because I didn't love them, I left because I did love them. Remember the good times my love, not the bad ones.
I'll love you forever,
Jodi'
We were divorced in 4 months, I took the papers to a lawyer and he filed them for us. I learned later that Jodi headed for California and Tom was waiting for her. They never married but she stayed long enough to have him infect her with everything but HIV/AIDS. They were together for 4 years before she left him again, swearing she would never see him again. Her folks told me that one when I took the kids over to their place. I stay in close contact with Jodi's parents, they are our kids grandparents. Jodi has never came back to see our kids, although she never misses a birthday, Christmas or any other holiday she can send a card.
Me? I remarried, a coworker was the girl that soothed my broken heart. Unable to have children of her own, she took to mine as if they were her own and the kids call her mom, in loo of their birth mother. She loves them and they love her. Kimberly is tall, unlike Jodi, at 5'8", and willowy to Jodi's more stout yet not fat frame and weighs usually around 120lbs. We are a physically fit family and do quite a lot outdoors together. Kim loves sex and had never been married, although she had a few relationships. My cock was bigger than anything she had ever seen and is happy enough with what she calls her 'horse-cock'!
Jodi? She still lives in California and has a job as a cashier/manager at a small grocery and lives upstairs above it as part of her salary. She didn't remarry and doesn't even date according to her parents. She is self loathing and feels she doesn't deserve anymore than what she has. She had had it all in the past and threw it away.
by
Anonymous09/25/15
Abusive Reaction
To the Anonymous who wrote "Not a bad reaction".
You have an outrageous sense of entitlement. Your response to your ex constitutes emotional abuse for no gain whatsoever. The result is the same whether you divorce her right away or she leaves on her own after your reaction, which from my point of view does not look good on you. Forgive her or divorce her, those are your only options. The marriage contract does not entitle you to anything else.
by
Anonymous09/27/15
Anonymous-"Not a Bad Reaction"
The comments are for, well comments, NOT stories, however interesting. Your experience would make an interesting story. Too long and detailed for a comment.
Your dialogue is too stilted and unnatural. Aside from being ungrammatical, no one would ever say "Jane isn't a woman like you to attract guys at every street corner at first sight, but she compensated that with true passion I didn't have expected from her." Most of your sentences read that way. Try recording a real conversation and see how people actually talk.
by
Anonymous11/17/15
Good structure. English second language?
Congrats. This is a good story. I like the structure. Four out of five. The use of language is very unusual. It feels like English is not your first language or maybe you used an online translator.
I encouraged you to keep trying as I liked the plot structure a lot and I want to see what happens to these characters. Cheers Steve
by
Anonymous11/26/15
This is a very realistic story
To err is human.
Linda succumbed to temptation.
Gary had stopped loving her even before he found out about her thing with a much younger man.
You could have started the story with Linda & Brendan in his room.
I think Linda deserved a second chance.
Doesn't all fit together. He gets on her about using protection yet says he gets to play too but can't use a condom? He must be immune to STD's. I also got lost in the timeline. She starts to tell how it started but he stops her saying he already knows? How does he know if she didn't know she would end up in his dormroom how would he? Thanx for writing it.
by
Anonymous09/18/16
Weird
This guy is "monologuing" like a supervillain. Apparently, the wife is unable to speak coherently. Or, the author is unable to write dialogue for women (or believable men, for that matter). Makes you wonder why he married her in the first place. I guess this is intended to demonstrate that the husband is brilliant (so the reader can imagine that he is, too. "Yeah, take that!") and the wife is stupid (as a "certain class" of LW readers appear to believe that all women are.)
This kind of two-dimensional, cartoonish character exposition is tiresome. Any so-called writer that can't create believable people should find another hobby.
One *star for effort.
by
Anonymous10/17/16
Pretty Damn Good
Can't wait for the next chapter. 5 Stars, no doubt!!
English
Not interesting
To emotionless. Too...cold. I can't even feel bad for him because I don't know what he is feeling.
Wow...
"Her husband really wasn't that bad in the sack."
If my wife told me that, I'd jettison her fat ass right out onto the street.
Along with her loose cunt.
welcome to the real world
In this story she really got an eye opener. Found that two can do it and the results might not be what she wants loop
Thoughts
“By the way, it's not a nice remark to designate your husband as a mediocre lover.” – While I suppose “designate” isn’t TECHNICALLY wrong here, but I presume you meant “denigrate”, as in disparage or put down.
“She liked his athletic body and his youthful appearance.” – And I’m sure Gary would like the athletic body and youthful appearance of a 20-year-old woman, would that excuse him fucking her?
“would never pay her back with his own coin” – the actual expression is “her” own coin, or “with the same coin”.
No. The author meant designate
verb (used with object), designated, designating.
1.
to mark or point out; indicate; show; specify.
2.
to denote; indicate; signify.
3.
to name; entitle; style.
www.dictionary.com
AUW
Well you certainly told us...and told us...and told us. This read like a shopping list with some verbs tossed in "for real live action." Of course, if you're positioning our hero as a dangerous man, then the toneless, flat quality of the dialogue fit perfectly.
Very stiff writing with painfully formal dialogue. Interesting story but difficult to read and enjoy.
Thanks for the effort.
meh
Awkward writing. I won't read the next. Didn't do anything for me. You should have stopped here.
Stilted writing by numbers
Sorry pretty unemotional writing, you need to improve vastly 1*
I like the idea behind this story but ...
Congrats. The idea for this story is very good. Four out of five. I really liked the way the husband didn't get drunk, have an emotional breakdown or run away when he discovered his wife was cheating. I like the concept of him confronting her with the new reality. But as other commentors have noted this story was almost too emotionless. You can have the dialogue as it is but it should be interspaced with some emotional suffering on his part. Also her horrified reaction was sort of condensed into the middle and the end. It would have been better if she had reacted a few times in the middle of his diatribe. I also found some of the dialogue to be a little oddly worded. Is it possible the author has English as a second language? Regardless it was interesting and I look forward to reading the next chapter. Cheers Steve
Pretty good story. (3.5, rounded up to 4)
It seems that the wife should have had more dialogue. I assume the author's first language is not English - at times I thought I was reading a WINTERFROG story.
Maybe been caught already ...
"...found out a week ago his wife had ..."
Delaying the 'a week ago' qualifier implies that the affair (in place for several months) started a week ago; not that his discovery was a week ago.
Nice Try...
The writing needs some work.
Not a bad reaction
And one I can completely get behind. When I found my wife was fucking her old boyfriend, I took a different tact.
I cut off all interaction with her. All of it. When I first learned of it, at that moment our marriage was over, although we had two children, 5 and 8. She had her first inkling something was wrong when I was moving my things out of the master bedroom and downstairs into the basement where I had set up a brand new bed and bedroom set. Following me downstairs as I carried my stuff, she was almost hysterical the longer we went without me responding. When she saw my bedroom set and a pile of lumber and sheetrock to build a room, she lost it.
I never responded to her. By the time I had everything moved downstairs, she was sitting in the living room staring at a TV that hadn't been turned on. She knew and she knew that I knew. After I was done, I went back upstairs to play with the kids before dinner, which I already had in the oven. You see, I'd had to cook dinner because she was off with horse-cock Tom, her old boyfriend, between work and home. I had even drove by to see her car sitting at his house.
That first night not a word was said. When the kids were in bed, I simply retired to the basement. She didn't follow me and I assumed she had went to bed in our old bed. When I got up and prepared for work the next morning, Friday, I found her sleeping on the couch. I didn't wake her and simply left for work. You see, she had been fucking Tom for at least 20 weeks that I knew of, so that meant it was no fling, although even a fling was enough to destroy our marriage. When I came home on that Friday evening I found a few things different. One, she had moved all my things back upstairs and put them back in the master bedroom. Two, she had taken the day off work and three, she had made a wonderful dinner. Jodi could hardly meet my eyes all through dinner, even though I seldom glanced at her.
I didn't speak to her again. At all. In fact, since I'd brought the entire episode into the open, I hadn't spoke a single word to her. But I did sit down with the kids and her for dinner, after which I took a book and retired to my bedroom, at least she hadn't stripped the bed. Thankfully, I had put a small lock on the inside of the door that led downstairs and heard her try the door, giving up when she realized it was locked.
Saturday morning found the house abuzzing! Four of my workmates showed up early and I was prepared and let them in. Within minutes, tools were moved downstairs, my stuff covered with plastic and we began building a bedroom and a bathroom, also, wiring and plumbing it for a kitchenette. When Jodi came downstairs to see what was going on, everyone ignored that she was even there and after realizing what was happening, retreated in tears. I simply could not have cared less. We put in a long hard day and my friends left, promising to be there the next day. I simply locked the door behind them and collapsed into my bed.
Sunday morning I was awoke with banging on the door and the guys were already there. They had already stopped by Lowe's and had all sorts of stuff to install, and by the time I was ready for bed that evening, I had walls already mudded and ready to be wet sanded when they dried, a toilet, showed and sink installed and the tiny kitchenette was open for business too! Monday morning I was out the door and off to work before anyone else was up. I left a calling card on my way out. An 8x11 glossy photo of my wife riding Tom's horse-cock, up close and personal. The camera's we'd installed at his house were fantastic.
When I got home that Monday night I was not sure what I might encounter. Anger? Sadness? Self loathing? Didn't know, really didn't care. But it was anger. Rage even! Jodi was in my face, screaming at me that I shouldn't have set something out where the kids could have seen it and if I was angry, to take it out on her, not the kids. I ignored her as if she wasn't within 500 miles, let alone 5". Jodi had taken it upon herself to cut me out of our marriage, I was merely finishing the job.
The evening was spent with the kids, all four of us had dinner together and watched television. The kids were excited about my 'fort' downstairs and asked if they could come down with me. We went downstairs and played and I put them to bed and retired to a better locked door downstairs. And that began our new lives. Each morning I set a new photo out on the table and she would scream at me if the kids weren't there each evening when I came home. It was always of her with Tom's cock inside of her or in her hand. My favorite was a really clear shot we'd gotten of her on her knees, one hand cradling his balls, the other wrapped around the shaft, her mouth sucking on the head and she was looking up at him like she was enraptured. I put that one out many times each morning when she had been particularly verbally abusive the previous evening. It didn't take her long to figure it out.
The next weekend saw my friends hard back at work. Wet sanding, remudding, finishing the bathroom and kitchen and by Sunday night, everything was done with the exception of me waiting to paint it, something I could do by myself. During the next week, I finished with all the painting and also bought all the kitchen utensils I needed. You see, I wasn't going to use anything from the upstairs kitchen, that was her shit and she could keep it. During that week I also had to take one day off and meet with the cable guys and I had TV! I also had to buy a new TV too and went out and bought a 65", in direct contrast to the 32" model we used upstairs that Jodi swore was big enough. The instant the kids saw the one in my room, guess where they wanted to be!
To that point I had yet to utter a single word to my wife. Friends who were keeping watch on her said she had ceased stopping by Tom's house. I found it strangely titillating when I heard someone had beat the hell of him and he was in the hospital while the police pursued every lead they were aware of. It turned out he was injured worse than it looked, with one ball being removed and lacerations to his liver. I guess he'd taken a lot of soft tissue blows. After my wife learned he was hospitalized, she didn't say anything to me, but began to keep her distance. Don't ask, don't tell was the mantra at our house.
After about three months cock-free, at least that I knew of, she started acting a bit sexy, as if she could fix things with her cunt. Nope, that thing was what led us to our current problems and I wasn't having anything to do with her. One night after I was coming out of the kids bedroom, she stepped in front of me in the hall, wearing nothing but a see-through negligee. I guess she thought that's all she had to do to repair our life but I simply walked past her and went to bed. Jodi continued to try and woo me, touching me only a few times before she realized how revulsive her touch was to me. When I jerked back, I guess the look on my face was of disgust and perhaps it was at that moment that she understood what she'd done. Her touch absolutely grossed me out. When she did that, she would find a picture on the kitchen table the next morning showing her reaching out and touching Tom, with a look of complete adoration on her face.
Tom was something I didn't understand. He had popped her cherry when they were in high school together and rode her like a racehorse all through school, according to others that went to school with them. If he wanted to fuck, she made herself available. More than once, other kids saw them come out of a custodians closet fixing their clothes and hair. At parties, he would take her out to his car, into a bedroom, wherever he could to have her make him cum. They could be seen fucking if you just wanted to go out to his '66 Camaro. But then he cheated on her, twice. And with her best friend. They broke it off, got back together when he got horny and needed to get off, then split up again when he gave her the clap. Yet here she was, cheating on me with her old cheater.
I realize now, it was all about his cock size. I never really considered anything like that, being pretty happy with my own dick, 7"x6". Reasonably long, relatively thick. But Tom's was in another stratosphere according to guys he'd went to school with, the story was he was over 8" long and over 7" around. That my friends, is a horse cock. And to think Jodi lost her tight little cherry to that behemoth? Ugh. I'm not saying I rattled around when we first got together, but lets just say childbirth didn't loosen her anymore.
Tom moved away after his beating, the word on the street was he'd been warned it would be best for his health. Jodi didn't seem to suffer any but I simply didn't care. She put on the full court press after about 6 months, even presenting herself once on my bed when I least expected it, up on her knees and legs spread wide, she knew my favorite position was doggy style. Its odd, I didn't even have a twitch in my cock, I reacted the way I really felt and grabbing her by her arm, finally spoke to her for the first time since everything came out. "Get your filthy diseased cunt off my bed, you're not going to infect this one too." I guess that might be the moment she understood that I knew she and Tom had fucked in my bed. She was hysterical when she went up the stairs and I couldn't have cared less.
We were roommates from then on. Except that we didn't speak to one another. The kids absolutely adored my new apartment downstairs and spent little time with their mother over the next six months and it was when school was out and the kids would be out of school that I came home and found the note.
'Dear Geoff,
I regret with every fiber of my being what I did to you, to us and to our family. Until I made the mistake of seeing Tom when he stopped by my work and invited me out for a drink, I've never felt so loved or had a more perfect life. We truly had the perfect life, until I messed it up. Yes, I am taking full responsibility for my actions actions that has destroyed our family. After that first drink I had with Tom, my old desires for him came flooding out and I didn't have any control over myself and became the slut that loved to be pounded by him.
My love, I lost all respect for myself but I couldn't stop. I know you'll think this was about cock size but it wasn't. He treated me like a cunt to be used and I fell for it again. It was like a dream, or nightmare, that I couldn't escape until the moment I realized you knew. My husband who I have adored from the moment I met him, knew that I was cheating on him, spreading my legs willingly for another man. I should have known how you would react.
Geoff, I filed for divorce and have signed everything and you'll find it all on the mantle above the fireplace. I've taken nothing but my clothes, I deserve no more. Hell, I probably don't even deserve to leave wearing clothes. Everything has been signed over to you but my car and that only because I needed a way to leave you in peace. Please, take care of the kids and let them know I didn't leave because I didn't love them, I left because I did love them. Remember the good times my love, not the bad ones.
I'll love you forever,
Jodi'
We were divorced in 4 months, I took the papers to a lawyer and he filed them for us. I learned later that Jodi headed for California and Tom was waiting for her. They never married but she stayed long enough to have him infect her with everything but HIV/AIDS. They were together for 4 years before she left him again, swearing she would never see him again. Her folks told me that one when I took the kids over to their place. I stay in close contact with Jodi's parents, they are our kids grandparents. Jodi has never came back to see our kids, although she never misses a birthday, Christmas or any other holiday she can send a card.
Me? I remarried, a coworker was the girl that soothed my broken heart. Unable to have children of her own, she took to mine as if they were her own and the kids call her mom, in loo of their birth mother. She loves them and they love her. Kimberly is tall, unlike Jodi, at 5'8", and willowy to Jodi's more stout yet not fat frame and weighs usually around 120lbs. We are a physically fit family and do quite a lot outdoors together. Kim loves sex and had never been married, although she had a few relationships. My cock was bigger than anything she had ever seen and is happy enough with what she calls her 'horse-cock'!
Jodi? She still lives in California and has a job as a cashier/manager at a small grocery and lives upstairs above it as part of her salary. She didn't remarry and doesn't even date according to her parents. She is self loathing and feels she doesn't deserve anymore than what she has. She had had it all in the past and threw it away.
Abusive Reaction
To the Anonymous who wrote "Not a bad reaction".
You have an outrageous sense of entitlement. Your response to your ex constitutes emotional abuse for no gain whatsoever. The result is the same whether you divorce her right away or she leaves on her own after your reaction, which from my point of view does not look good on you. Forgive her or divorce her, those are your only options. The marriage contract does not entitle you to anything else.
Anonymous-"Not a Bad Reaction"
The comments are for, well comments, NOT stories, however interesting. Your experience would make an interesting story. Too long and detailed for a comment.
People don't speak that way
Your dialogue is too stilted and unnatural. Aside from being ungrammatical, no one would ever say "Jane isn't a woman like you to attract guys at every street corner at first sight, but she compensated that with true passion I didn't have expected from her." Most of your sentences read that way. Try recording a real conversation and see how people actually talk.
Good structure. English second language?
Congrats. This is a good story. I like the structure. Four out of five. The use of language is very unusual. It feels like English is not your first language or maybe you used an online translator.
I encouraged you to keep trying as I liked the plot structure a lot and I want to see what happens to these characters. Cheers Steve
This is a very realistic story
To err is human.
Linda succumbed to temptation.
Gary had stopped loving her even before he found out about her thing with a much younger man.
You could have started the story with Linda & Brendan in his room.
I think Linda deserved a second chance.
Your English is not bad at all.
(* * * *)
Need more
Write more sex. We always need more sex.
Doesn't fit.....
Doesn't all fit together. He gets on her about using protection yet says he gets to play too but can't use a condom? He must be immune to STD's. I also got lost in the timeline. She starts to tell how it started but he stops her saying he already knows? How does he know if she didn't know she would end up in his dormroom how would he? Thanx for writing it.
Weird
This guy is "monologuing" like a supervillain. Apparently, the wife is unable to speak coherently. Or, the author is unable to write dialogue for women (or believable men, for that matter). Makes you wonder why he married her in the first place. I guess this is intended to demonstrate that the husband is brilliant (so the reader can imagine that he is, too. "Yeah, take that!") and the wife is stupid (as a "certain class" of LW readers appear to believe that all women are.)
This kind of two-dimensional, cartoonish character exposition is tiresome. Any so-called writer that can't create believable people should find another hobby.
One *star for effort.
Pretty Damn Good
Can't wait for the next chapter. 5 Stars, no doubt!!
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