I realised she was a big girl after the first sentence describing her but it appeared the whole page did nothing but repeat this. It needs more than this even if the story is meant for people who like big women.
by
Anonymous07/22/15
Is she married
One minute she is engaged and then at the end 'her husband' appears
The devil is in the details, and if you are going to be a writer it is the details that will make or break your story. Three factual errors in a one page story is not a good beginning.
English
Is size so important
I realised she was a big girl after the first sentence describing her but it appeared the whole page did nothing but repeat this. It needs more than this even if the story is meant for people who like big women.
Is she married
One minute she is engaged and then at the end 'her husband' appears
Pay Attention
The devil is in the details, and if you are going to be a writer it is the details that will make or break your story. Three factual errors in a one page story is not a good beginning.
No fatties
This story is lame
thin, short and sloppy
Thin on actual story.
Short enough to have caught the sloppy contradicting details.
Brenda is engaged AND she has a husband?
No wonder she isn't really excited about being engaged, bigamy charges are nothing to laugh at.
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