That was a very entertaining story. You did a great job with it and I hope you are planning to do more . A part two and three would be great .Thank you for the story you keep writing and I'll keep reading ....
It's wrap not warp. The little things can make or break a story. Also the explanation of the sex in the car. Times you were describing her facing away from daddy but then how would he be able to suck her tits. Be careful on descriptions. It was hot nonetheless. Reminded of me and my sister. ***
This was fun and sexy and best of all showed originality. A cut above the vast majority of D/D stories I have read here.
Hope you come out with more like this.
by
Anonymous08/02/15
Dimmu_Borgir
You made a comment about there being several stories using the same premise, but this one is pretty much the hottest that I have read.
As far as the comments that Dimmu_Borgir made, he is correct, but if that stopped him from reading, then that is his issue. He needs to stick to the classics, because even the most prolific professional writers make the same mistakes. I notice he has no stories posted.
Learn from his comments, but don't let them get to you. He is a small minded person that believes he is better than everyone because of his education. That is his loss.
I love the "sitting on lap on car ride" story line and you did a great job with it.
Such a hot story, with so many potential follow up chapters.
great job!
by
Anonymous08/02/15
Lovely.................
story. How many Fathers would give their right bollock to experience that with their daughters.
As for A nony mouse calling the wife a bitch etc I'll bet he is a bespectacled 50 year old with spotty skin a very very small cock which he wanks When he gets it up or his mum does it for him
First of all I gotta say how much I liked the original version of this.
Your version is the next best Thing.It could do even better with a bit of grammar check, but overall it's great.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY Plzzz write some follow up stories to this.
You have like 10 great storylines stemming from the end of this one!!!
by
Anonymous08/02/15
Thank you
A great read for me. What a lucky dad not only does he get to enjoy his youngest daughter's body, Rubbing her breasts and getting his dick into her young tight and unprotected womb, but we has a sexy wife as well. How many men long for their wife to roleplay incest with them dressing up in their daughters clothes and calling him daddy as he ravages her body. The biggest shock of all is that mommy is encouraging her husband to mount his oldest daughter, If more women did this I bet divorce rates would plummet. I want to read part two as daddy beds both his little girls and floods their unprotected wombs with his seed. The married daughter forces her husband to wear condoms when they copulate but begs for daddy's baby when she frequently lets her daddy mount her. As for the younger daughter I see daddy spending most nights in her bed grunting orgasm after orgasm into her fertile unprotected womb. Mommy won't be lonely as she has her own son's sperm soaking into her womb down the hall. A few years later I see a house with 3 young baby's sleeping in the nursery while in one bedroom daddy is having a threesome with both young daughters, while in the other bedroom the son has his mother pinned to the mattress as he Pistons his cock into mommy. What a perfect loving family.
First to Anon who didn't read it all. I was too busy following the action to notice errors. Second we all make errors and spell check can't catch them all. Third we don't need English teachers on this site. Go back to your classroom.
Now for the excellent work of this author. I have read many of these dealing with mother/son and sister/brother combos. Thanks for this one with a father/daughter.
Since you left the door wide open, please don't close it too soon. We need parts two through how many you decide.
Got to them loading the car and had to stop. How many typos and poor grammar can be in this story? And that's a tiny annoyance but then you have the wife. Lmao a wife old enough to have five kids gets carded when she goes out drinking with her husband? That has happened literally zero times.
Homophobia is a nice touch. Also no mother of a hot 18-year-old would go along with having her daughter sit on her husbands lap. how much worse can this get lets find out.
by
Anonymous08/02/15
a great story, and I love the comment
from the anon who wrote "thank you." He describes the perfect loving family. The father services both of his baby girls on a regular basis. Those sweethearts, including the married one, just cannot get enough of their father's fat veiny daddy-dick, and dad can't get enough of his baby girls' adorable little coochies. He keeps blowing his heavy loaded daddy-balls and filling their tight little twats to the brim with lots of the same sperm that made them. Meanwhile, Junior's busy revisiting the same cunt he came out of. His fat young cock's up inside dear old mom more than it's just hanging down over his balls, and that's exactly where mom wants her baby boy's big mommy-pleaser. When the kid unloads his balls up his own warm wet birth canal, he yells, "hey, mom! here comes my baby sister!" Yes, the perfect modern liberated family, fucking their brains out.
by
Anonymous08/02/15
Laps
The "sitting on a lap in a car" genre might be the most weirdly specific on this site. The very best example is "Two Moms, Two Laps, Two Hours" by Tx Tall Tales.
This story was fairly fun but also ridiculously implausible. The last bits go off the deep end and crash horribly.
by
Anonymous08/02/15
Terrible.
Badly written, totally lacking in credibility (3 bottles of whisky!!) and ridiculously juvenile dialogue.
by
Anonymous08/03/15
Not terrible---3
This story isn't terrible, but I've gotta say that a thousand words worth of preamble is no way to start a story. The premis issn't uncommon for this site. If you want Milton, look elsewhere, troll.
by
Anonymous08/03/15
Write for yourself
This is a gateway story, plenty of directions to take it. Yes, improve your grammar and spelling but don't let it put you off your storytelling. Most of us on here will let it slide if the story is strong and is taking us on a journey. The sons need to go adventuring with mom, maybe bareback on horses in the hills, mom sat in front, hard cock poking her ass.
by
Anonymous08/03/15
5 stars
I loved the story I'm not a fan of mother son story's but love daddy daughter I think I can some what relate, no I have not done insest but I have had sex while I was driving petite girl mounted me while going down a old country road
This was a very good story which could easily be turned into a series. I love the fact the husband gave his wife his blessings to have sex with the boys. It seemed only fitting. Keep writing.
by
Anonymous08/03/15
I am not into father daughter sex but was a good story and kept me interested. . Made we so wet and ready.........
by
Anonymous08/03/15
Good job!
You should write a sequel where Missy gets with the boys.
Be careful with your tenses. In this story, you switch back and forth from first person present to first person past. Stick with one or the other unless part of the story is background for what has already happened.
by
Anonymous08/03/15
You topped some of my favorite stories!
Fantastic job! Love your slant on what were my favorite stories ever but now with Dad. Hope to see many more stories from you. You gave me one of the most intense orgasms!
OK, so your grammar isn't very good. Your writing, on the other hand, is crazy good. I love the way you put things, and I love how you borrowed this theme and crossed it with another story. I'll definitely read anything you write, but you could use a good editor.
Very nice wAy to end it and leave the door open...
by
Anonymous08/13/15
Honest criticism
First off, I liked the story arc. I liked that the dad had a favorite daughter that everyone could see he favored and who knows what else. I liked that the mom wondered if he ever had sex with her and that the daughter had confessed to wanting him in that way and the dad was clueless about it. I liked that the younger daughter got him first, I think there is a whole element of sibling rivalry there that could have been exploited, or could be still. It was a hot story, so you accomplished the major part of your task.
Now on to the constructive criticism: 3 bottles of scotch? Seriously? How big of a drinker is this guy that he can put away three bottles of liquor and can still walk? If he's a huge drinker his gut is so big he doesn't have a lap to sit on. This story could have gone the same way if he'd just been tipsy and his wife didn't want him to drive. I got stuck on this detail for the first page and a half.
I don't know about anyone else, but I find it hard to believe he could see his dick going into her as she sat on his lap. The mechanics of sex in a car seat are awkward at best and certainly not an activity where one can view any of the action. Along this line, this all takes place in the middle of the night and yet he can see everything clear as day. Need to take a step back from your story and give it a critical looking over.
Some people think that criticism like that is pointless, that this is all a fantasy. I hope you can see that making your story believable is important.
As for punctuation errors, yeah you had them, people have commented, fix them next time. I always tell people who write (and I follow this advice myself) is to read the story out loud. You find so many errors that you never knew were there when you do this. By saying the words out loud your mouth find the missing words your mind fills in when you are reading it silently.
by
Anonymous08/16/15
Stars for Ldy_Sea
Ldy_Sea: What a great travel story :} 5 full blown Stars for you and your cock-hard inducing travelosity fare! Out-fucking-standing - that's right.
Can't wait to hear about further adventures with Missy (I mean Mom). Your grammar ain't great, but I dug the references and the pacing. Let me know if you want an editor.
by
Anonymous08/21/15
Loving wife:
It was great that you had the end segment of him making love to his wife. Very caring and much love in that family. Keep on telling that type of story.
This story rocked, grammar as I said was a little iffy BUT the pacing was fantastic. Description superb and characters rich and well rounded. It deserves to be a series unto itself and I would dearly love to see a chapter of him slipping into Missy 's arse as Ashlyn eats her mum or vice versa whole missy sucks off Dace or one if the sons.
Superb work and really hope there's more to come.
by
Anonymous09/15/15
lucky lap
I thought it was fine.
by
Anonymous09/17/15
Finally!!
I've been looking for this story for years. Like you I read the mother/son stories like this one and wanted a father/daughter one but never finding one. Thank you for writing one.
by
Anonymous09/29/15
There really needs to be a part 2 to this story
I got so fucking hard reading this story and thinking that I wished it were me and my Busty, Sexy, Bi Step-Daughter!!! Please write more!!!!
I've never commented on a story here before but I just gotta tell you how much I loved this one, it was one of the hottest I ever read, please make it into a series, the possibilities for further chapters are endless and you can just tell how interesting the life of this family will be from here on out.
This story is so hot!
The ending I didn't like so much with the mum and dad sex scene but it's still 10/10 for me.
You need to write another instalment to this story with more about the dad and daughter!
by
Anonymous12/18/15
Sequel.
This has too many possibilities to stop now. You're a good writer.
So hot and well written. You left yourself ample options for some great sequels. Please keep writing.
by
Anonymous01/27/16
Are you going to write more can you write it soon please when is the next chapter coming up for this one I really liked it you're a good writer
by
Anonymous01/27/16
more please
This story is so erotic that i want to add my request for more chapters. Please write 3 more, mother and sons, father and eldest daughter and finally the whole family (or more chapters if yoiu fancy)
English
wow
that was one of hottest stories i ever read
मला फार आवडले आहे
चक्क मुलीशी संभोग
वा भई वा
WOW!
This NEEDS to continue. So very good.
Got it in one
That was a very entertaining story. You did a great job with it and I hope you are planning to do more . A part two and three would be great .Thank you for the story you keep writing and I'll keep reading ....
Also
It's wrap not warp. The little things can make or break a story. Also the explanation of the sex in the car. Times you were describing her facing away from daddy but then how would he be able to suck her tits. Be careful on descriptions. It was hot nonetheless. Reminded of me and my sister. ***
Breath of fresh air!
This was fun and sexy and best of all showed originality. A cut above the vast majority of D/D stories I have read here.
Hope you come out with more like this.
Dimmu_Borgir
You made a comment about there being several stories using the same premise, but this one is pretty much the hottest that I have read.
As far as the comments that Dimmu_Borgir made, he is correct, but if that stopped him from reading, then that is his issue. He needs to stick to the classics, because even the most prolific professional writers make the same mistakes. I notice he has no stories posted.
Learn from his comments, but don't let them get to you. He is a small minded person that believes he is better than everyone because of his education. That is his loss.
great story
I love the "sitting on lap on car ride" story line and you did a great job with it.
Such a hot story, with so many potential follow up chapters.
great job!
Lovely.................
story. How many Fathers would give their right bollock to experience that with their daughters.
As for A nony mouse calling the wife a bitch etc I'll bet he is a bespectacled 50 year old with spotty skin a very very small cock which he wanks When he gets it up or his mum does it for him
Nicely Done!
First of all I gotta say how much I liked the original version of this.
Your version is the next best Thing.It could do even better with a bit of grammar check, but overall it's great.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY Plzzz write some follow up stories to this.
You have like 10 great storylines stemming from the end of this one!!!
Thank you
A great read for me. What a lucky dad not only does he get to enjoy his youngest daughter's body, Rubbing her breasts and getting his dick into her young tight and unprotected womb, but we has a sexy wife as well. How many men long for their wife to roleplay incest with them dressing up in their daughters clothes and calling him daddy as he ravages her body. The biggest shock of all is that mommy is encouraging her husband to mount his oldest daughter, If more women did this I bet divorce rates would plummet. I want to read part two as daddy beds both his little girls and floods their unprotected wombs with his seed. The married daughter forces her husband to wear condoms when they copulate but begs for daddy's baby when she frequently lets her daddy mount her. As for the younger daughter I see daddy spending most nights in her bed grunting orgasm after orgasm into her fertile unprotected womb. Mommy won't be lonely as she has her own son's sperm soaking into her womb down the hall. A few years later I see a house with 3 young baby's sleeping in the nursery while in one bedroom daddy is having a threesome with both young daughters, while in the other bedroom the son has his mother pinned to the mattress as he Pistons his cock into mommy. What a perfect loving family.
More to cum?
First to Anon who didn't read it all. I was too busy following the action to notice errors. Second we all make errors and spell check can't catch them all. Third we don't need English teachers on this site. Go back to your classroom.
Now for the excellent work of this author. I have read many of these dealing with mother/son and sister/brother combos. Thanks for this one with a father/daughter.
Since you left the door wide open, please don't close it too soon. We need parts two through how many you decide.
Okay
Got to them loading the car and had to stop. How many typos and poor grammar can be in this story? And that's a tiny annoyance but then you have the wife. Lmao a wife old enough to have five kids gets carded when she goes out drinking with her husband? That has happened literally zero times.
Oh it gets worse
Homophobia is a nice touch. Also no mother of a hot 18-year-old would go along with having her daughter sit on her husbands lap. how much worse can this get lets find out.
a great story, and I love the comment
from the anon who wrote "thank you." He describes the perfect loving family. The father services both of his baby girls on a regular basis. Those sweethearts, including the married one, just cannot get enough of their father's fat veiny daddy-dick, and dad can't get enough of his baby girls' adorable little coochies. He keeps blowing his heavy loaded daddy-balls and filling their tight little twats to the brim with lots of the same sperm that made them. Meanwhile, Junior's busy revisiting the same cunt he came out of. His fat young cock's up inside dear old mom more than it's just hanging down over his balls, and that's exactly where mom wants her baby boy's big mommy-pleaser. When the kid unloads his balls up his own warm wet birth canal, he yells, "hey, mom! here comes my baby sister!" Yes, the perfect modern liberated family, fucking their brains out.
Laps
The "sitting on a lap in a car" genre might be the most weirdly specific on this site. The very best example is "Two Moms, Two Laps, Two Hours" by Tx Tall Tales.
This story was fairly fun but also ridiculously implausible. The last bits go off the deep end and crash horribly.
Terrible.
Badly written, totally lacking in credibility (3 bottles of whisky!!) and ridiculously juvenile dialogue.
Not terrible---3
This story isn't terrible, but I've gotta say that a thousand words worth of preamble is no way to start a story. The premis issn't uncommon for this site. If you want Milton, look elsewhere, troll.
Write for yourself
This is a gateway story, plenty of directions to take it. Yes, improve your grammar and spelling but don't let it put you off your storytelling. Most of us on here will let it slide if the story is strong and is taking us on a journey. The sons need to go adventuring with mom, maybe bareback on horses in the hills, mom sat in front, hard cock poking her ass.
5 stars
I loved the story I'm not a fan of mother son story's but love daddy daughter I think I can some what relate, no I have not done insest but I have had sex while I was driving petite girl mounted me while going down a old country road
Good story
This was a very good story which could easily be turned into a series. I love the fact the husband gave his wife his blessings to have sex with the boys. It seemed only fitting. Keep writing.
I am not into father daughter sex but was a good story and kept me interested. . Made we so wet and ready.........
Good job!
You should write a sequel where Missy gets with the boys.
Tenses
Be careful with your tenses. In this story, you switch back and forth from first person present to first person past. Stick with one or the other unless part of the story is background for what has already happened.
You topped some of my favorite stories!
Fantastic job! Love your slant on what were my favorite stories ever but now with Dad. Hope to see many more stories from you. You gave me one of the most intense orgasms!
wonderful story and hope to see more of it.
Nice story!
OK, so your grammar isn't very good. Your writing, on the other hand, is crazy good. I love the way you put things, and I love how you borrowed this theme and crossed it with another story. I'll definitely read anything you write, but you could use a good editor.
more
would love to read more about this story
well I guess now that he's about to fuck his fav child Ash is getting toss to the side lol
Nice and intense at the end.
Very nice wAy to end it and leave the door open...
Honest criticism
First off, I liked the story arc. I liked that the dad had a favorite daughter that everyone could see he favored and who knows what else. I liked that the mom wondered if he ever had sex with her and that the daughter had confessed to wanting him in that way and the dad was clueless about it. I liked that the younger daughter got him first, I think there is a whole element of sibling rivalry there that could have been exploited, or could be still. It was a hot story, so you accomplished the major part of your task.
Now on to the constructive criticism: 3 bottles of scotch? Seriously? How big of a drinker is this guy that he can put away three bottles of liquor and can still walk? If he's a huge drinker his gut is so big he doesn't have a lap to sit on. This story could have gone the same way if he'd just been tipsy and his wife didn't want him to drive. I got stuck on this detail for the first page and a half.
I don't know about anyone else, but I find it hard to believe he could see his dick going into her as she sat on his lap. The mechanics of sex in a car seat are awkward at best and certainly not an activity where one can view any of the action. Along this line, this all takes place in the middle of the night and yet he can see everything clear as day. Need to take a step back from your story and give it a critical looking over.
Some people think that criticism like that is pointless, that this is all a fantasy. I hope you can see that making your story believable is important.
As for punctuation errors, yeah you had them, people have commented, fix them next time. I always tell people who write (and I follow this advice myself) is to read the story out loud. You find so many errors that you never knew were there when you do this. By saying the words out loud your mouth find the missing words your mind fills in when you are reading it silently.
Stars for Ldy_Sea
Ldy_Sea: What a great travel story :} 5 full blown Stars for you and your cock-hard inducing travelosity fare! Out-fucking-standing - that's right.
can't wait for chapter two
Excellent!
Can't wait to hear about further adventures with Missy (I mean Mom). Your grammar ain't great, but I dug the references and the pacing. Let me know if you want an editor.
Loving wife:
It was great that you had the end segment of him making love to his wife. Very caring and much love in that family. Keep on telling that type of story.
Grammar is a bit iffy but I loved this story.
This story rocked, grammar as I said was a little iffy BUT the pacing was fantastic. Description superb and characters rich and well rounded. It deserves to be a series unto itself and I would dearly love to see a chapter of him slipping into Missy 's arse as Ashlyn eats her mum or vice versa whole missy sucks off Dace or one if the sons.
Superb work and really hope there's more to come.
lucky lap
I thought it was fine.
Finally!!
I've been looking for this story for years. Like you I read the mother/son stories like this one and wanted a father/daughter one but never finding one. Thank you for writing one.
There really needs to be a part 2 to this story
I got so fucking hard reading this story and thinking that I wished it were me and my Busty, Sexy, Bi Step-Daughter!!! Please write more!!!!
Just amazing
I've never commented on a story here before but I just gotta tell you how much I loved this one, it was one of the hottest I ever read, please make it into a series, the possibilities for further chapters are endless and you can just tell how interesting the life of this family will be from here on out.
I seriously enjoyed your story
the action was erotica. especially the ending.
You had a fucking reference!
You took mike from https://www.literotica.com/s/sitting-on-my-sons-la p by @retires04 !!! nice work bruh!
It was really good!
I liked your story you should write more
So Hot!
Loved the story it was so hot.. With the stage already set you really should write a followup chapter.
Wow! One of the best
This story is so hot!
The ending I didn't like so much with the mum and dad sex scene but it's still 10/10 for me.
You need to write another instalment to this story with more about the dad and daughter!
Sequel.
This has too many possibilities to stop now. You're a good writer.
a sequel please!
So hot and well written. You left yourself ample options for some great sequels. Please keep writing.
Are you going to write more can you write it soon please when is the next chapter coming up for this one I really liked it you're a good writer
more please
This story is so erotic that i want to add my request for more chapters. Please write 3 more, mother and sons, father and eldest daughter and finally the whole family (or more chapters if yoiu fancy)
omg - such crazy hotness. Now I can't wait to read your other stories!!
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