All Comments on 'A Loner Mentalist Pt. 03'

Ypu got the 3rd chapter rolling fairly fast

great i guess

btw i would love to read the dream drive but over red has not posted ch 10

tell him to post it and i will surely read it ;)

Great story so far. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Every one is alienating Jack. His mother always, his father, his friends, work, school, the charities and, now, Mia. Methinks some one is pulling strings! The man in the cloak is out there! Weakining Jack for the kill?

.....it cost me a night's sleep after pt. 02.

How you managed to engage me to this level has me mystified.

Jack is a constant and everyone and everything else in the story are variables.

As we read the end of pt. 03, we see that he is now truly alone.....or is he?

I tried, I honestly tried to read a little at a time but i just could not stop reading. Now i have to wait for god knows how long before the next chapter is out. I need some of those brownies to help me get throught the wait!

I just hope he tells her, and that he won't make her forget about it or make her believe that stupid explanation he gave her. Even if it does make him a bigger target for the boogeyman I really hope he still tells her. Maybe he can cloak both of them?

Give him a vision of a master if you will, someone to set him straight. Tired of him sounding like a little beatch and having no clue as to who the boogy man is. the kids a basket case and little bit clueless of the real world..I really dont want to loose interest in the story. I'd love to see him be able to make right some injustices . maybe the Bgyman is like a bounty hunter after the ones who have misused powers too greatly, I dont know. lol,your the writer, I'm just a disabled guy stuck in a chair looking too enjoy a read is all/ ty/bill

I'm glad to see you going back to A-cup

Just brilliant, absolutly amazing. Love how the characters have intermingled and the direction that your leading the story in.

I have a feeling that the big issue is she is falling for him and she cant deal with her emotions, but i do think that a bit of circumstance could either help or hinder how he could explain this to her.

keep up the great work

JC

Seriously, what you've been coming up with on your own is brilliant. Just keep doing your own thing, and trust your own judgement. I really like how Jack keeps coming back to doing what he thinks is right, regardless of what it costs or how other people behave.

Very interesting part. Quite the rollercoaster indeed! I'm looking forward to read the next one. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the great work. ^__^

I never read these long stories if they have little to no sex, but I can't stop reading this one. Hope I don't have to wait long for the rest.

It is very rare that I come back for more, and this is one of them. I would love to see this as a movie, but the way it is written is very cinematic anyway. Absolutely great job!

Just, please, don't take a friggin month to put in the next installment!

Part four is with the editor, Over_Red, who is very, very busy in real life and with his own chapter ten of Dream Drive. (Which I'm dying to read just as much as many of you)

I expect to get it back within a few weeks and then I'll do a final pass and post. Expect it at the turn between August and September. In the meanwhile, I'll be working on some commisioned pieces and A-Cup Angst ch.16.

Good lord! I've been an avid reader of this site for a few years now, but I have never, even close to felt what you made me feel as I read this chapter! The amount of adrenaline rushing through my system left me hanging on to each word for dear life! You've managed to do something that authors try their whole life to accomplish, and rarely achieve - you made me think that I was in the book, that I was experiencing each event, the fear, joy and betrayal all strikin home with ruthless frequency. The depth of your characters astound me, and the fact that not everything goes well for the protagonist (quite the contrary), and that the obstacles that he has to surmount are so realistic and well thought out made this an absolute joy to read! I am still trying to calm my heart after such a climactic ending/cliffhanger to the chapter, and I eagerly await the next instalment!

If you haven't already, you need to go professional in your writing. I know I may be a lowly 'anonymous' comment, but I hope you hear the sincerity in my words: You are a truly gifted, incredible author.

Now for the love of God, get the next chapter up! The sake of my sanity depends on it! If you abandon this story (as so many epics are so often) I will be absolutely crushed. I want you to know that this is a novel of epic porportions, and that if you have ever thought about writing anything else, PLEASE let us know what it is/when it will be published, so I can immerse myself in another simply wonderful experience.

If I haven't made myself clear yet, this deserves a rating so much higher than 5 stars, but that is all I can give. If the author reads this comment, please know that I thank you, for this gift to the literate world. May good fortune be with you, and the creative juices never stop!

You've made a loyal fan out of me! Please excuse me, I'm going to go read all of your other work now, I'm already starting to feel withdrawl symptoms ;)

Cheers,

Dennis (aka Anonymous)

Screw you, man.

When you're that good, you need to publish the whole story at once, this is torture for us readers.

Amazing job as always.

Some of us don't want to wait

actually i don't want to wait you can email me the unedited pdf version i wont mind

...stands for me too. Pdf, word, text whatever. It takes too damn long!

What's that saying? Good things come to those who wait?

I've submitted part four a minute ago and it will be online as soon as the powers that be give it the all clear. Part five is written and with the editor and I'll do a first draft of part six this weekend. So chillax guys... it's coming!

This is really rather good :-) Thank you

This is the most frustrating story I've ever read. The moment I think a character has virtue, the story does a 180 and turns them into monsters. I don't expect stories to be complete fluff and happiness, but this is the most depressing and painful read I've ever had. I'm giving up on it.

I like this story but I feel that you have made jack a guy too idealistic. He got wronged and doesn't get a revenge on his so called friends. He just let's people step on him. I think it would have been better if he had a mean streak too.

This chapter was a roller-coaster! so many twists and turns.

I'm truly hopeful that things settle down and his name get cleared at some point.

This guy is in way too much stress while trying to emulate his hero, helping the world around him.

Also, I was taken by surprise by his so called friends.

At the very beginning my first thought was, these guys are no good, they'd squeeze him for cash while doing no real work. Then I was surprised seeing myself being wrong, and now it turns out my first assumption was mild compared to the truth.

Seriously a roller coaster

I like the bursts of frustration

I liked the first two chapers, but this was dark and very messy, plot wise, at times. It was a step down compared to the first two chapters.

Still an amazing tale!

My heart pounded out of my chest when Jack realised he'd been duped!

JC

If this was a real-life situation, the story ends here. Once a woman becomes afraid of a man, she will leave him for the protection of another hero.

That said, I can't stop reading this tale. It's just too well written.