Hard to Forget Ch. 01

I really liked it. Can't wait to read how this story progresses toward hopefully happily ever after for Bobbi and her brother Dan.

I liked it, but it was far too short

Just as it was getting interesting, boom, done. This is not a good thing to do with a story that's paced like this, so next chapter, please, make it a little longer. I can't fault your writing, so I guess people are low-balling it because it's so brief; it's stroker-length, but it's not a stroker, so you're ticking-off the habitual wankers, who are then low-balling it, which is a pity, as it feels like the start of something really good. I gave you 5 stars, but perhaps you'd consider pulling it and adding it to the front of your next submittal as a longer chapter. Either way, I'm waiting now to see where this goes.

Well Let's See...

The GF was a slutty bitch and the sister is a manipulative whacko.
Not exactly a lot of sympathetic characters here, are there?

WELL DONE

I am looking forward to reading parts to this story. You are doing a great job.

Not bad but......

The writing was good - the story was fast and it was all boiling up nicely - when it just stopped.
If chapter 2 was available immediately then that might have helped - but for all we know, we might be waiting forever for the story to continue so it's a bit of a let-down.
I also feel that you've laid all your cards on the table already and that unless there are some good twists to come, then it'll just be yet another 4-star brother/sister story.

maryflo

incredible history, it is necessary really that the brother makes love then bones very hard his sister who deserves it much and they will be in the inceste for always !

Thanks for the feedback!

I'm fairly new to writing erotic fiction, especially in a public setting, so I'm still trying to figure out how pacing and style ought to work. Your feedback is helping already, so PLEASE keep it coming (the good, the bad, and the sarcastic)! As for if there will be any good twists or plot devices that aren't easily foreseeable, the end of the next chapter ought to be a little surprising, but that's all I'll say ;)
Thanks again for helping me become a better writer!