All Comments on 'Aurion Ch. 04'

You really need to proofread what you write. There are at least two whole sentences that make no sense at all (probably due to spellchecker program used), and a few others that had words that made no sense in the sentence. A editor would catch that if you can find one.

I really love the story so far. But you seemed to have made the relationship between Michael and Talasa a minor thing. Not sure why.

Also while I'm fairly certain you're very a very busy person and I get the opportunity to read you fantastic story for free, but could you go over your story at least once before you post it. There are certain parts that I can't understand. Like: "I agree. However, I slaughtered killed of the six Demon commanders leaders big the horse against your lands. I..." Generally if you make a spelling, syntax, or grammar error, I can piece together what you are trying to say with no complaints on my end, even here, I can vaguely assume what you are trying to say. But this sentence really doesn't make any sense.

Again love the story and thanks for posting!

Fantastic story, in desperate need of an editor.

Well defined...fascinating...a passionate tale woven with imagination! Your spelling and grammatical challenges are a small distraction, not enough to take away from your prose, but improvement would polish your product. I am really looking forward to Chapter 05.

any idea when the next chapter will come??

great story you have here..

btw, it will be good to have some equality between the lovers. so far Amila is kind of monopolizing Michael and Talasa is being ignored despite promising start to her character. and more from the other two girls would be great :)

Amazing Story and backgrounds (tho sadly chapter 5 was hald the size of the rest lol) I do understand the actual Length of the pages here on lit and know that it is still a good sized chapter lol, but throughout your work there have been a lot of spellcheck and misplaced words an editor would majorly help with(because YOU reading it again within a month or less only lets your mind auto-fill-in and correct/translate what you have written so you think its fine. I do wish the other Girls will get there chances and not be such minor characters. Miss Orc seemed to have ment to be a HUGE Part of his story, but atm shes just an extra dedicated cock-Sleeve. The HorseGirl Nomad he Took during the combat with her seems to just be an extra and seems to have almost been forgotten as a love besides the late flashback about her being taken. The Princess/Bride hasn't realy had any written time to actualy know him and accept him fully(tho it seems she does love him Now, altho he was months away fighting while she was in the capital With Miss Orc). Miss Elf has taken all his attention and love it seems so much so that everyone else gets scraps atm it seems. Miss Assassin seems like she is his 5th(of the 4 in the legend lol) but apparently by a few comments shes a Lesbian and doesn't realize she loves him too. that one with her allways there and watching im with the others (cept in Elf Lands where he didn't bring her lol) seems like many chances for her to join him, and help keep the others entertained/pleasured/prepared for him and his Size (Would have been perfect timing to start getting her matched/mixed in with everyone by Miss Elf getting her to help her stretched a bit more to make it easier for him to get into her). Good story building over all. I was sad that he said to have killed Six demons saving the Elf group after returning, when he only killed 3 at the time, with no other mentions of him even fighting or seeing any other demons near at the time.

Sorry about wall but that's my 20 cents lol (cause it was more then just 2)

how did Michael die. why is he a fallen angel. all in all I like the story so far. please keep up the good work. I usually don't leave a comment and I read allot of stories on lictoria.

Please continue this great story..

Looking forward to next chapter about Michael. Angelis is really evolving and enjoy the reading about it. He has some interesting ladies in his life so hope to hear more about the assassin lady....:)

your story is awesome, but dude get an editor.

when will the next chapter be ready, amazing... thanks for a great read. yes there are some errors, but you know what i look past those and read the content. If others want to throw stones tell them to write a better series. otherwise shut up and enjoy a great story..

thanks

It is 4:03am when I finished reading, only to discover this is another story never finished. Damn that is irritating.