You're writing about a subject you love, that's obvious; but, in this episode at least, the repetitiousness kills the story. Perhaps developing the episode rather than simply writing a snapshot of a juicy twat would take you into scenes you could really sink your teeth into. Overall though, great descriptive writing.
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Something fishy
You're writing about a subject you love, that's obvious; but, in this episode at least, the repetitiousness kills the story.
Perhaps developing the episode rather than simply writing a snapshot of a juicy twat would take you into scenes you could really sink your teeth into.
Overall though, great descriptive writing.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Melinda's Fishy Discharge Ch. 04 or
More submissions by Paradiggler.