Block Party

Pretty Good.

Not bad for a first try, there were some spelling mistakes but not so many it wasn't enjoyable. See about getting an editor, it will improve your writing. I look forward to seeing more from you.

yep

not bad. since i am no native english speaker i was´n aware of spelling mistakes.
me i´d prefer stories in wihch there is more resistence / overriding non-consent

keep going

Gave it a 5 for your trying

Dear annony you're just trying!! Eat it annony!

Police!

I hope the next installment has her going to the police to report this narcissistic rapist asshole! He can be big bubba's submissive down at the state prison. It'll fit right in with non con and I'll give it five gorgeous stars! Please, please don't let this go in the direction of she decides she loves it, doesn't report him and begs him for more. That just makes no sense at all. All that said, you're a good writer who clearly engages her audience. Cheers!

one non-stop cliche

The raped virgin who has one or more orgasms is a major cliche, as is the oversize penis.
As a matter of writing style every story is better if the author uses descriptive language in the place of exact bra size, height and length in feet and inches, etc
The plot has possibilities but the author wasted them with persistent use of cliches. euphemism for penis and other terms. The result was something that only rape fantasists could buy into.

I found it enjoyable. While cliche, it was still a decent read. Can't wait for the next installment!

You have potential

The basic writing is good. You can create and develop a story. Complete sentences (yes I know that wasn't one). Background details of the block party. Connections at more than one level with the school teacher/child of rapist, etc. In the writing side you would do well to develop the story with more words and descriptions lest it feel you are rushing through to the end rather than providing an interesting trip along the way.

For me the virgin who gets instantly wet and orgasms for the stranger that is selfishly raping her (there is no attempt at even seduction here) is too unrealistic. I get this is a Non-Con story. I personally like mine with a little more (ok a lot more) mental /emotional conflict and build up. But if you are going for brutal rape just make it rape. That mix along with D cups on a petite young woman and coke can cocks almost makes this a parody. Which could also be a valid and interesting writing technique here.

As it stands now I would support the reviewer that suggested Chapter 2 was a quick trip with her cum soaked panties (what an idiot rapist in the 21st century) to the nearest police officer. Unless there is some twist here that I missed the foreshadowing for in Chapter 1.

I hope you keep writing and reading and further develop the nuances of erotica.

Not bad, but not quite to my taste

The basic story has some promise, and I won't claim it's bad or anything. I will note that my personal tastes run far more to reluctant than noncon. It's much sweeter for someone to be so driven by lust that they overcome their own initial disinterest and demand to be used.

I'd enjoy meeting these characters again, but from her POV, where she walks away being worried about how turned on the was, and- a couple weeks later- she presents herself to him. Maybe not "justice" given what he did to her, but it could be a hot fantasy nonetheless.

Full of cliches, yes.

But she'll be back all the same

enjoy the ride for what it is :)

write for yourself

its good but in the end you should be the one who judges how good it is. those who leave feedback on this site are mainly either trolls or editorial nasties with self obsessed notions of what constitutes a 'good erotic story'. if you are happy with your story - as a first - that's all that matters!!

Liked it.

I really liked this rape fantasy. I hope you have another coming soon. I would recommend going back and editing it. There are a few tiny errors where I think the computer auto corrected and changed your intent. Overall a great and exciting read!

Keep writing!

Keep writing, loved it!

Good story

But rereading your story would have helped before you published it. I get yanked out of the story when you change from past to present tense then back again. Also little typos would have been caught. Overall the story was good, the characters were good and the scenario was good. I was trying to figure out if she was tied face up or face down at first.

Where's the continuation?

You are doing a good job as a first-time writer. Check your tenses and syntax, and you will be fine. BTW, when's the next installment?

Rated 4 Stars

While you have made some mistakes, I still enjoyed your first story. I do hope you make a second chapter. There was no concern or mention of possible pregnancy. I mean after all he was just seen with his wife and new baby. She was a virgin. With how he stretched her open and deep she should end up pregnant. Personally I highly enjoy huge cocks, but about ten inches are my personal limit for a somewhat believable story.