A Night to Remember Ch. 02

Finally the "cheating"...

Finally the "cheating"...She was falling in love with her one night stand....After so many night stands, he was the one!!! That wasn't difficult to understand, because she didn't love or respect the husband, nor the husband loved or respected her...The problem was he was married too...and in an open marriage...Is she expecting that the lover will leave his wife to marry her...Why would he change from a open marriage to another one? 1*

is there something other than junior high thinking here

surely I missed it if there was, hubby needs to remember dead wives tell no lies and don't need alimony

Open marriage one thing, but failing to communicate with hubby big no no

and the reason these "open" type relationships fail. Have to communicate with the primary extremely well, or all sorts of doubts and betrayal begin to creep in.

Well written, would love to get some deeper insights into why she is falling for Andy so quick, is it new relationship energy, or something more? And why so fast? And why not communicate wtih the hubby, who is probably ready to call the police and file a missing persons report? Not fair to do this to him.

Dull.

And that is putting it nicely. 1*

Hinsight is a fag!!

Everyone loves this story! Gave it a 5

OK great story so far

I rate 5, why? easy, as the reader I see suspense building. Why do I say suspense, I see a gullible wife "Sarah, believing she is in this unique open marriage with a husband whom by chance is a high level executive at by coincidence the same corporation as Andy's wife Cindy. Cindy in this happens to be an executive assistant? hum how convenient. I see nothing mentioned about 11 text messages from Sarah's husband which I find interesting. 11 messages all in the same night? I see a third chapter where the walls come crashing down, Andy a chef, perhaps not paid a great deal, Cindy very hot woman, much better than Sarah, perhaps Sarah and her husband were college lovers that continued into marriage. Now I see similar lives, Andy a chef, not paid well, Sarah an over glorified receptionist at a law firm also not paid very much, and Cindy, the assistant to Sarah's husband and executive or at least some executives. I see a trap in the works, no proof of an open marriage only Sarah's word, I expect to see pictures taken secretly at the bar, and perhaps with Cindy's efforts hidden camera or two in their apartment. Lets be honest, both Andy and Sarah are poor dirt people clinging to someone with money or potential. I believe Sarah will be in for a shock once its realized that her open marriage was a lie, her husband never wanted such and there exists no proof on her part for the husbands request or approval. I see or believe that a prenuptial agreement might exist between Sarah and her husband which will leave Sarah with next to or nothing at all. I believe this is a great story with a build up to an explosive ending. well done

5 stars

In Need of an EDITOR

Poorly written. Wasted time trying to determine what you MEANT to say.

hot

From first line
Thanks to recall my night with mahima

this author is

need of a brain go back and get your grade six and try again.

NOT TOO BAD!

I've read all these chapters and I really don't think your work is as bad as some implied. You did get a few good constructive criticisms. Especially about developing your characters better. They meet, they fuck, but who are they? What do they feel, why do they do what they're doing, what are the other spouses doing while all this goes on? I realize a short story doesn't leave much time for character development--a very good argument for at least two page stories, by the way, but try to do better.

I fully realize I'm giving advice unasked for, but I assume you really want to write better, just like I do and am doing to you like I want others to do for me. Anyway, keep writing and good luck.

PS: Don't take the negative comments that don't offer constructive criticism too seriously. I've been studying comments like that and I think they are made by a small number of readers, who for their own reasons are on a vendetta to get Laurel to change LW. I could be wrong but if you notic, almost the same comments are made time and again.

another pile of shit thrown into LW

gave it a 1

Another great LW story and since dear annony hates it

In gave you a 5. Fuck you in the heart if we can find it.

JUST ANOTHER VOMIT ENFORCER PILE

NO VOTING

Uck!!!

How about a -5

I hope Andy and Sarah fall in love and end up ruining their marriages.

These four dumbshits need to learn a lesson about love, relationships, trust, and fidelity. Since they are too stupid to learn it from watching other failed relationships, maybe they will come out of the crash better people.

Oiled her nipple?

SO many statements that either involve non-words, or involve real English words which make NO sense in context. Plus some very odd grammar.

Good to know that true love can be engendered by ONE exhausting sex session! Great way to gain respect and generate trust! Of course, respecting a big, indefatigable pecker or a tight snapping-pussy seems kinda superficial!

2* get an editor!

Must be another piece of crap.

Only the likes of bonnie would consider this erotica. The cunt doesn't know the meaning of the word. Gave it a one to offset her useless and meaningless score.

This is hilarious

that anybody now seems to consider cheating is acceptable, when we now have reality in spades, I am sure you have all read about "Life is short, have an affair' website by now, leading to suicides, blackmail, divorces (divorce lawyers have hit 'pay dirt'), loss of jobs and last but not least disgust from families and friends.
Isn't reality wonderful!!! BTW 1*

Just another day at the zoo, . . .

watching the animals fuck. Not original, not dramatic, not surprising, and not interesting. In alleys, in the woods, behind the dumpster, throughout the motels, just good old animal fucking. Happens every day. At least you don't have to have much imagination to write this drivel, nor to find it interesting.

impo and lickedy pretty much nailed it

zero respect and love and the cheating cunt obviously never had any for husband

only positive, it was very very short story