And I'm Pulling Out of Here to Win

Right

a story about a loser losing forever. Great story idea. I hope you have a miserable life.

Pleasant read. Reinforces the mantra that you should not let things go too long.

Poor storytelling

Hurts what would probably be a four star story. The poorly managed remembrances and stilted dialog really muddy a fairly straight forward tale. Also, the title is poor.

it needs reconnection

He needed to relocate missy even if it is later.
Did he get married ever?
Did she marry?
Needs closure.

Great start

We're is the rest of he story?

Poor writing, stilted dialogue, not really finished either, he's still a loser all those years later.

What an incredibly sad story! Just my preference, but I was not looking for something so sad when reading "romance". Should have been a different category or a sad ending warning up front. These two were so young, and easy to have made a mistake. She could have whispered "love you" instead of "read it at school" and he could have at least looked at it before hiding the book in the closet. To think of what she has been thinking for those 8 years, and does he realize how big a loser he is for not reading it? Why should she have written to him again? She wrote in the biik, he should have read it and contacted her about the invitation to visit. Anyway, I hope this may just be part one, with part two having them find love with each other or some type of happy ending. (I chose to read this because I liked your Somewhere Beyond the Lighthouse).

well

that was sooo sad.
He should hate his mother.

I've been married 40 years and we married at 18, engaged for a year or so before that time.

I am tired of people thinking 18 is to young, its just many are immature till they hit their 30's, a lot of are normal and quite functional relationship wise at 18.

Needs a chapter on tracking her down.

I echo the other thoughts.

It feels a little sad and unfinished. I know that real life is more like that - there can't always be a happy ending - and I admire you for attempting a brave ending. But it feels like he just deserted her, which makes the hero seem a little weak, not a winner.
Good luck.

the ending

killed any romance. he never really loved her, she's lucky...