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English
No .... No.... why!
Why did you have to kill them? It's just so sad. You didn't give them a chance to change or grow up. Or to see the car as evil that they had to break free of.
Cyber noir - love it!
The good: The story oozes style. The setup, the tech, the language and of course the fate of the protagonists - that's classic Cyberpunk. You've got that nailed. Taking cues from Bonny and Clyde - why not?
The not-so-good: I wouldn't have minded a bit more sex, and what was there felt surprisingly impersonal, especially after how they met. The chemistry was there, and you didn't milk it. Lost opportunity.
The ugly: Holy hell, did you forget to edit? You dropped words. You mangled tenses. There were two instantces I had to go back and re-read what you've written, just to make a little sense of it. Cost you a point there.
Verdict: Great story, needs another edit pass, at least.
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