Country Club Wives 02

Needs Work

The dialogue needs a lot of work. Exchanges like:
"Pietro where is your cock?" Norma asked.
"It is in her pussy" Pietro replied.
"Put it in her ass. I want to see you fuck her in the ass."
"Yes Norma, as you wish."
- just sounds robotic and unnatural. They're in the middle of having sex, but the way they're talking, they might as well be playing checkers. The descriptions as well can sometimes sound clinical and detached. Also, you could definitely spend some time looking it over to fix some small mistakes, or get a proofreader.