You can't tell who's talking to who half the time.
by
Anonymous08/24/15
Lame and juvenile: "Oh, my goodness. What is my wife doing with that guy's cock in her mouth?"
You wold have to be about 12 years old to find this arousing or exciting. It was embarrassing and stupid. Have you ever had sex? I mean with another person, of the opposite sex?
by
Anonymous08/24/15
bad, stupid, non erotic, waste of time.
Don't quit your job at McDonalds.
by
Anonymous08/24/15
good
No matter the story in this section always the naysayers hate it.
Good story and thanks for writing..
by
Anonymous08/24/15
Good?
What about this juvenile badly written story is good, stupid cardboard people are not erotic, interesting or belivable.
by
Anonymous08/24/15
re: good
Even more "and no matter what", there's usually some bozo who can't stand it when there are people who dare to have a different opinion.
by
Anonymous08/24/15
Good have been better written
Could have been written better but don't be discouraged. Try and find someone to edit for you.
I don't allow grammatical errors to cloud my judgement of a stories content. While the plot is common, the twist of the photographer and his wife joining into the action was an interesting addition. The sex scene was okay and June's actions were unexpected by her husband, and would/should have added to the heat of the story.
Literotica has lots of volunteer editors you can make use of. Notice, I'm not anon.
English
Work on the dialogue
You can't tell who's talking to who half the time.
Lame and juvenile: "Oh, my goodness. What is my wife doing with that guy's cock in her mouth?"
You wold have to be about 12 years old to find this arousing or exciting. It was embarrassing and stupid. Have you ever had sex? I mean with another person, of the opposite sex?
bad, stupid, non erotic, waste of time.
Don't quit your job at McDonalds.
good
No matter the story in this section always the naysayers hate it.
Good story and thanks for writing..
Good?
What about this juvenile badly written story is good, stupid cardboard people are not erotic, interesting or belivable.
re: good
Even more "and no matter what", there's usually some bozo who can't stand it when there are people who dare to have a different opinion.
Good have been better written
Could have been written better but don't be discouraged. Try and find someone to edit for you.
Too many haters!
Read somewhere else, or better yet, submit one of your own. Then we'll critique as harshly as you do!
Dry
Add some meat to those bones!
Good job
Story line works and the sex is good. Too many negative comments for what is an enjoyable little story. Keep going
wrong category
1*
Two Loving Wives.
I don't allow grammatical errors to cloud my judgement of a stories content. While the plot is common, the twist of the photographer and his wife joining into the action was an interesting addition. The sex scene was okay and June's actions were unexpected by her husband, and would/should have added to the heat of the story.
Literotica has lots of volunteer editors you can make use of. Notice, I'm not anon.
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