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English
You need to read and edit
Hard to get past the simple errors that would have been caught if you reread this and used spell check.
Maybe let it rest for a day and check it again before submitting.
Keep writing.
Uh...is there more?
This would be alright as a beginning, but as a stand alone story it leaves the reader seriously lost. There are so many unanswered questions about everything in the story, and it's downright cruel to get the reader interested in the story only to have it come to a very unsettling jarring halt.
My only major complaint otherwise was the obvious confusion about just who teased the girl about tripping. If Dom teased her why would the main character say karma is a bitch?
Seriously though, if you intend to write more then you need to let your readers know that you don't intend to tease them and that if they bear with you that they will get to read more of the story.
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