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English
very good story
This may have been You're first story You have submitted, I think You have talent and i would like to thank You for making it available for U/us to read. Keep up the good work *smiles softly*.
donna
Bravo!
To Vague Eden form Carl Talbot, greetings.
A valiant maiden effort! A tad adjective-heavy, but practice makes perfect. Ullah is a luscious piece of girlflesh, and I'd be pleased if there were more of her adventures to come. Who was she and what was she like on Earth? How did the Gorean slavers capture her? How was she trained, and how was it when her slave heat was ignited? What adventures does she have with the regular customers of the Golden Bina? (Imagine, for example, an otherworldly "Cheers" where diane and carla are available to the customers along with the price of a cup of paga? Imagine Sam saying, "A cutting remark, carla, but witty. For that, there will only be ten lashes for being displeasing to the free. Then you will kneel before Norm and show him how that tart little mouth might be employed in a _worthwhile_ manner. Please him well, any dissatisfaction he feels afterward, he has my permission to take out on your pert little ass!" and tossing Norm his kurt.) The possibilities are endless, and I look forward to your exploration of them.
I wish you well.
Gor
I loved reading the Gor books and your story is but a deeper continuation of the theme. It was great, keep it up!
Oooohhhh that takes me back
This is great! I hadn't thought of actually placing a story on Gor before. Your story takes me back to the days when I sneaked the Gor books out of my brothers collection to read them.
Great start
Well done, it's minus Norman's nauseating ramblings about all women being slaves, and just the great setting and sensuality. Overdone in places with the prose, as another said, but better too much than too little. Maybe tone it down a little, and in future Gor stories, maybe have the men do more original things to the girls, like what are all those slave implements on the table - use them on the girl! :)
Ullah still needs training
Great story, it has been too long since I have read any tales from Counter-Earth. Ullah still needs training though - she should have been on her knees when she first served the warrior.
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