Derelict 0006

Briefly...

This story would not be possible without the technical assistance of my dear friend Apothecary29.

This is the end of the story, and there will be no sequel pieces. The ending is entirely up to the interpretation of the reader.

100 internet points to the reader who can identify the short film that provided the inspiration for this.

Thank you for reading!

brilliant!

hey there @AMD!
okay, so i never read in this category. either one, actually. i mean i enjoyed the occasional sci-fi as a kid, but that's about it; and Lesbian isn't my major preference either.
but storytelling IS my passion, and holy hell, lady, but you can WRITE!
i loved this story. five brilliant stars and thank you so much for sharing!

xoxo,
Annie (Anne A. Lois / small_town_girl)

Beautiful and haunting. I'll begrudgingly accept this as a stand alone piece as long as you write and post more, AwkMD!

Stop being so good

Just kidding. Never stop!

I have to say, I'm a little disappointed the working title didn't make the final cut. But I get it - it's not a comedy. ;P Fast and furious, perfect dialogue as usual, and a The Lesbian or the Tiger ending for everyone to ruminate on afterward. Yup, wrap it up people, and cut the lights. We have a winnar.

So Good

Lovely, touching, haunting piece. I'm so glad I finally got round to reading some of your stuff, you're a brilliant writer (but I knew you would be), D&T is right the dialogue is spectacular, I especially love Colonel Gormes.

Esther

Great!

Thanks for sharing.

NONONONONONONO

You don't get to start a story this great and then just say "Done."

Fantastic

You made me cry. Now I have to deal with it. Thank you.

WTF?

I'm sorry, but somehow I'm missing the artificially created drama... Besides being a combination of Rendezvous with Rama and Solaris, She meets her long-lost dead love whose loss has emotionally destroyed her for 2 decades an then decides to kill her because she may not be real? Really? WTF?

And away we go!

Big thanks to Anne, AeIsMe, DeathAndTaxes, and Karaline for the lovely comments. I'm so glad you guys enjoyed it.

Big thanks to Dinky. I'm always glad to share the stuff I'm proud of, and I'm always grateful flr the responses.

Sorry, Nasty, but Terrible Company is my main project. Anything I produce in parallel to it will be shorter and much more emotional (like my CD/TG story A Midautumn Night's Dream). Terrible Company is fantastically fun, but it doesn't provide the same catharsis for me as a writer, so I will periodically make stuff like this to handle the overflow. I appreciate you wanting more though.

Thank you, Coyote, for finding it in yourself to like this even when it hurt. You're exactly the kind of reader I write for, and I'm always glad to find another one.

Aaaaaaand lastly, anonymous negative feedback. Now it's a party.

This is the Sci-Fi genre. Nothing here is real. It's all artificially created drama.

I've never heard of Rendezvous or Rama. I have heard of Solaris, but I've never seen it. The inspiration came from one short film (hint:it's animated), but thanks for playing.

As far as not following the plot or why it took the turns it did... Derelict is intended to be a surreal ride. I did the best I could to write characters that were whole and true to themselves. If their choices aren't things you can relate to, then I might ask if you've ever had real loss in your life? If a deceased grandparent returned to you, but was a goot taller, how would you receive them? At what point does logic override the will to believe?

I don't mean to sound belittling. I truly don't. I have respect for everyone's opinions, and I thank you for contributing to the conversation.

Correction

Was a FOOT taller. Damn you, smart phone keyboard!

I must agree...

...with nasty_butler!

NONONONONONONONO!

This story opens too many interesting questions it then leaves unanswered. An 'alien' ship that can recreate our loved ones, apparently entirely - from our memories!? live and self-aware? fascinating concept - and I like the way you portrayed their mutual angst in the absurdity of their situation. For the alien ship, it is an interesting defensive strategy, at the very least. ...and the Colonel's comment at the end ...this happened before? Ooohh... tell me more!

How could this ship defend itself against a larger number of investigating intruders?
...and What is it defending? What other secrets does it hold?

With so many more juicy writing avenues to explore, how could you just stop this tale here?

@GrandPaM

There is a season for all things. Surreal pieces, by and large, cannot hold up to lengthy exposition. Think of how many people were disappointed with Lost.

There is more with the ship going on behind the story, but that was not my goal with this piece. My favorite works of Sci Fi are pieces that are still character driven and full of growth (or in this case, the stubborn and violent resistance to it). Those were the themes I chose to explore. I made Alien, and what you wanted was Aliens. I'm sorry that I didn't give you what you wanted here.

Wow

Thank you. This was written with just the right set of events not to tear my heart out. It makes so much more sense after having read it, and had this been the second time, would hurt so much more. Marvelous read with more questions than answers, but then again, what good story answers them all? And why would we remember it if it did.

Really good

Setting, characters and presentation were awesome. Thank you so much for some of the best Sci-Fi in a single story I've enjoyed here.

ping

Gutwrenching and mysterious

Firstly, as always, the writing is mindblowing. Everything from the dialogue to the descriptions to the emotions in characters - all of it grabs the reader by the throat and drags them into screen.

Surprisingly, I like about the open-endedness of the story. My interpretation is that Hitomi had the choice between pulling the trigger and ending the surreal fantasy of her dead lover or giving in and embracing the fake, yet achingly alluring fantasy the ship offered her. I like how you left that choice to the reader. Perhaps an obvious lie can be so much more comforting and addictive than the truth. On the other hand, I would also have liked it had you left a final line about which choice she took - her love or her sanity.

All in all, another fine 5 star effort.

Like wow..... Must have more please!

Fun!

As of 3/1 (and running through 5/1), Derelict is up for an award here at Literotica in the category of 'The Most Literary Genre-Transcending'. Most people reading it for the next two months will be coming here because of that. To those of you for whom this applies; Hello! I hope you enjoyed it!

If not, however, and this is the first you're hearing of the 2015 Lit awards, then I would encourage you to head over to the forums and check out all the great nominees. Winning would be great, but I would want it that much more if I knew you fantastic readers had taken the time to check out the competition AND STILL wanted to vote for Derelict.

No matter what, though, thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope it gave you something to think about.

Chapter 2?

Here because of the RCAs. Confused but intrigued.