This is the good romantic feelings stories i come here to read to get through some bad stuff
by
Anonymous09/04/15
Sexy twins
Jake and Jessica are two sexy young people. Please describe Jake in great detail: give him some soft hair for that sexy chest, something for Jessica to stroke during their lovemaking. Jake has to be a manly guy!
by
Anonymous12/03/15
Dialog
No offense to your edtior, but despite this being better than the first chapter, there a number of missing pronouns, prepositions & words and there are still issues with dialog. Example:
"...both of us." Jake looking at his grandmother squarely.
That last part is just a sentence fragment. Typically, what is done is something like.
"... both of us," Jake said, as he looked at his grandmother squarely.
English
good to go
Good story a true love story keep it up
Keep it up
This is the good romantic feelings stories i come here to read to get through some bad stuff
Sexy twins
Jake and Jessica are two sexy young people. Please describe Jake in great detail: give him some soft hair for that sexy chest, something for Jessica to stroke during their lovemaking. Jake has to be a manly guy!
Dialog
No offense to your edtior, but despite this being better than the first chapter, there a number of missing pronouns, prepositions & words and there are still issues with dialog. Example:
"...both of us." Jake looking at his grandmother squarely.
That last part is just a sentence fragment. Typically, what is done is something like.
"... both of us," Jake said, as he looked at his grandmother squarely.
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