The plot behind the story was good, but you should work on your writing style. I'm not trying to sound mean or anything but the story didn't flow very well. You should work on it though.
Sorry if this insulted you.
by
Anonymous04/17/09
couldn't stop cumming
awsome story couldn't stop cumming
by
Anonymous04/24/09
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn I wish my sister would give me a blowjob
by
Anonymous12/13/10
madharchod
randi saali
by
Anonymous09/28/11
behen ke launde
madar chod kitne harami hai yeh log apni bhen ko hi chod dete hain suar kahin ke
by
Anonymous04/24/12
dumb needs a rewrite
how do you FELT ASLEEP
by
Anonymous09/21/12
LIAR LIAR LIAR
you say on your bio page you are a GOOD WRITER going by this you are a lousey writer. this is no more than a first draft that never should have been posted. do yourself and the readers a favor and delete all stories and rewrite them using a GOOD EDITOR or a GOOD GHOST WRITER.
English
WOW!!!!!!!!!
Had me squirtin' for certain!
wow
damn for a blowjob story that was hot.I'm lookin forward to reading more chapters about this :)
Hm
The plot behind the story was good, but you should work on your writing style. I'm not trying to sound mean or anything but the story didn't flow very well. You should work on it though.
Sorry if this insulted you.
couldn't stop cumming
awsome story couldn't stop cumming
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn I wish my sister would give me a blowjob
madharchod
randi saali
behen ke launde
madar chod kitne harami hai yeh log apni bhen ko hi chod dete hain suar kahin ke
dumb needs a rewrite
how do you FELT ASLEEP
LIAR LIAR LIAR
you say on your bio page you are a GOOD WRITER going by this you are a lousey writer. this is no more than a first draft that never should have been posted. do yourself and the readers a favor and delete all stories and rewrite them using a GOOD EDITOR or a GOOD GHOST WRITER.
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