Looking forward to seeing where this goes. Also, if you're still in the market for a editor, I'd be more than happy to discuss what you want and need privately. Deepdiver32073@yahoo.com
by
Anonymous09/10/15
Forget the Anonymous haters.
The person didn't even offer constructive criticism, so who cares what they think?
This story is reeking of elements of personal experience, I'm beginning to suspect. Mike and Lynn have a very nice human flow to their interaction that is very organic and believable. True, it's also very sexual and raw, but that shouldn't be an issue on a site devoted to sex and smut.
I loved the trip down to Chicago and the rape-fight in the hotel was a lot of fun to read. Since they're going to be here for several days, seemingly, I hope you take your time to develop their relationship. These are not two lusty kids, these are two vibrant but obviously hurt adults should who have found one another. I hope they fall in love.
Awaiting the next chapter eagerly. And please post another chapter of The Great Khan soon, I'm loving that one!
-C
by
Anonymous09/13/15
I like this
All I can say is...thank you. For putting good effort, and succeeding, in this. For being articulate and attentive to details, for adding scenery, like that oddball albino squirrel, a bickering Chinese couple, or even for dreaming up the hotel in this story. This story is hot, and I really like the characters. I mean, I LIKE them.
I guess I don't typically look for happy stories on this site. I found this one accidentally by one of its tags. I think you are going to change my reading habits, for the better. It's nice to be happy.
I wish you the best with your later writing.
by
Anonymous09/13/15
Can they communicate on more than sex
And i cant see how a guy eats a girl driving with a steering wheel in her hands.
In the last chapter i wish he would have told her he wished she wasnt so free about her telling him he shouldnt worry about seeing other women. Great story.4
English
Awesome
Please don't stop.I am stroking sooooo hard to all the exquisite sexual escapades.Can't wait for the Thai girl to join in again.
Worst of the bunch.
I have enjoyed the previous 6 Chapters but this one, left something lacking. Just being blunt.
Great story so far.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes. Also, if you're still in the market for a editor, I'd be more than happy to discuss what you want and need privately. Deepdiver32073@yahoo.com
Forget the Anonymous haters.
The person didn't even offer constructive criticism, so who cares what they think?
This story is reeking of elements of personal experience, I'm beginning to suspect. Mike and Lynn have a very nice human flow to their interaction that is very organic and believable. True, it's also very sexual and raw, but that shouldn't be an issue on a site devoted to sex and smut.
I loved the trip down to Chicago and the rape-fight in the hotel was a lot of fun to read. Since they're going to be here for several days, seemingly, I hope you take your time to develop their relationship. These are not two lusty kids, these are two vibrant but obviously hurt adults should who have found one another. I hope they fall in love.
Awaiting the next chapter eagerly. And please post another chapter of The Great Khan soon, I'm loving that one!
-C
I like this
All I can say is...thank you. For putting good effort, and succeeding, in this. For being articulate and attentive to details, for adding scenery, like that oddball albino squirrel, a bickering Chinese couple, or even for dreaming up the hotel in this story. This story is hot, and I really like the characters. I mean, I LIKE them.
I guess I don't typically look for happy stories on this site. I found this one accidentally by one of its tags. I think you are going to change my reading habits, for the better. It's nice to be happy.
I wish you the best with your later writing.
Can they communicate on more than sex
And i cant see how a guy eats a girl driving with a steering wheel in her hands.
In the last chapter i wish he would have told her he wished she wasnt so free about her telling him he shouldnt worry about seeing other women. Great story.4
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