All Comments on 'Red Silk Ch. 01-02'

I really enjoyed this story, and look forward to Chapter 3

First- and third-person narrative are good devices. Second-person narrative, unless in epistolary form, is awkward and contrived. It was thought to be cool sometime in the 50s, but it has long lost its literary appeal.

Instead of being erotic and arousing, you're merely being boring.

If you want to be interesting while maintaing the 2nd-person narrative voice, try putting it in the form of a letter to the narrator's (fictional) lover.