I Do It for Him

It's - rather boring. You have captured the voice of the 'whatever' young female. Too bad those types are so much about crass fucking and notches on their bedpost. There is no emotion in this recitation, nothing erotic.

I do it for him...

Does it matter why I do it, i just do it ok!?

Yeah so firstly you sound 15.
Secondly you answered your own question - you do it for him.

Excellent

It's always good to see a smut writer experimenting with different "voices" - and this one, a young woman with an older man, written by a man or woman in his or her 40's or 50's - is an intriguing example.

One thing we especially like is that its sort of "self-focused" sound makes it, somehow, more realistic. As a couple who have "played" a good bit, we feel like we've met her a time or two, and the story gives us a strange sense that we're hearing the thoughts of one of the young women we've met.