Certainly has the potential to be a fun story, just don't know how will Mrs. Kramer fit in there. Aside from that it was short and to the point, just enough action to enthral and still believable enough to want more.
Y give this story 5 satrs. But if you ever talk about kids wasting their tie in college again, anyone onthis site, I will give a score of 1. The Mercedes in this story is worshipping cars. I know a lady with a Mercedes & she talks about how stupid she was to spend that much. Mercedes are cheap in German, over there our cars are expensive.. Talking about cars, most people are nuts to buy one, the car debt will destroy our country, cars sales will stop because everyone owns a new car. Car factories will close down, no factory workers will buy stuff, so other jobs are lost, then cars will be cheap. Just sign ypur name on the dotted line, it doesnt matter how much it cost. A guy asked me to be a car salesman, I said I wouldnt pester a poor person to buy a car with starving kids! You think I am nuts. How about every dang story on this site of stories of the people in piles of debt that thinks things are going to turn around & get a job. Money, cars & clothes doesnt make man. I know several people who have a nice house, a nice car, nice clothes. On the outside they show everyone how much they have, but inside their houses they hide their poorness, where nobody can see, their houses are empty, they have no money to furnish their house. But the real rich people dont show nice cars to people and stick their damn nose up in the air. People who drive nice cars have an inferiority complex, a woman doesnt give a damn if an ugly man has a nice car, she only cares about the man. If she likes a car, she is a gold digging whore. All these stories on here are poor people worshipping nice stuff. My dad built houses, men ahould learn to build a house, but all the dum ass kids dont want to learn carpentry in school, they want to stick their nose up in college. Im an engineer. You may be an engineer, I would be ashamed to tell Im an engineer with no job, but thats the macho thing to do. Then all these college students are going to vote for a democrat to forgive their college debt, & taxpayers will pay for it, but watch these kids not pay the ever bigger colleges. Whatch the big colleges go broke. The colleges lie to the kids knowing they wont get a job. Some will, if you are smart dont let me stop you, but most people are ignorant. One damn story on here after another about college shit. These stories would make one think that he couldnt get any pussy without college.How about a story of a man who has his own business & WORKS FOR HIS DAMN SELF< INSTEAD OF SOMEBODY ELSE TO BUILT HIS OWN HOUSE INSTEAD OF SOMEONE ELSE> A KIDS MOTHER WOULD SAY< I DONT WANT MY KID TO BREAK HIS BACK TO BUILD A HOUSE. Everywhere I go, coleege this and college that, it makes me want to puke. How would you like a college kid to be your boss, that has no understanging of a machine, then you hear a grandma who talks how sweet the college moochers are, when one thinks she is evil, too. These factories all moved overseas to keep from paying all these college kids big pay, & they know nothing. And because of them the world is ending. But everyone out there keep talking about how great the college is destroying us.
by
Anonymous09/23/15
Great start
That's it. Great start. Keep it going. I won't go into an endless diatribe of conspiracy theorist bullshit like the other Anonymous guy.
by
Anonymous09/24/15
Completely unearned
There was basically zero effort to build to anything with the sister; it just *happened*, with the thinnest justification imaginable. What's worse is that the majority of the narrative was laying groundwork for something else entirely. If Mrs. Kramer had walked in on him in the bathroom while over for dinner, it still would've been unearned, but at least it would've made sense from a narrative perspective. For all the ending had to do with the first 2,000 words, you might as well have closed with him winning the lottery, buying a yacht and sailing around the world. Titling it "You Never Know" doesn't absolve you of that sin..
by
Anonymous09/24/15
#WTF
What was supposed to be ? start with the 60year ols plus boiler next door,Inviting her for thanksgiving next his sister is coming on to him in bathroom.IT Was all rushed !and WTF has next door neighbor to do with him fucking sister #WHY?
English
Looking forward to more....
It could be fun
Certainly has the potential to be a fun story, just don't know how will Mrs. Kramer fit in there. Aside from that it was short and to the point, just enough action to enthral and still believable enough to want more.
I definitely want more of this
Please continue
An interesting start -
I loved what you wrote but - I need more...
Terry and Chris enjoyed a quickie but where are they going from there? Even Chris is wondering how he's going to act the rest of the day.
Thanks for sharing...
RecHiker
Short but sweet
loved the shower fuck
nxt chptr
Can't wait
Hi
Y give this story 5 satrs. But if you ever talk about kids wasting their tie in college again, anyone onthis site, I will give a score of 1. The Mercedes in this story is worshipping cars. I know a lady with a Mercedes & she talks about how stupid she was to spend that much. Mercedes are cheap in German, over there our cars are expensive.. Talking about cars, most people are nuts to buy one, the car debt will destroy our country, cars sales will stop because everyone owns a new car. Car factories will close down, no factory workers will buy stuff, so other jobs are lost, then cars will be cheap. Just sign ypur name on the dotted line, it doesnt matter how much it cost. A guy asked me to be a car salesman, I said I wouldnt pester a poor person to buy a car with starving kids! You think I am nuts. How about every dang story on this site of stories of the people in piles of debt that thinks things are going to turn around & get a job. Money, cars & clothes doesnt make man. I know several people who have a nice house, a nice car, nice clothes. On the outside they show everyone how much they have, but inside their houses they hide their poorness, where nobody can see, their houses are empty, they have no money to furnish their house. But the real rich people dont show nice cars to people and stick their damn nose up in the air. People who drive nice cars have an inferiority complex, a woman doesnt give a damn if an ugly man has a nice car, she only cares about the man. If she likes a car, she is a gold digging whore. All these stories on here are poor people worshipping nice stuff. My dad built houses, men ahould learn to build a house, but all the dum ass kids dont want to learn carpentry in school, they want to stick their nose up in college. Im an engineer. You may be an engineer, I would be ashamed to tell Im an engineer with no job, but thats the macho thing to do. Then all these college students are going to vote for a democrat to forgive their college debt, & taxpayers will pay for it, but watch these kids not pay the ever bigger colleges. Whatch the big colleges go broke. The colleges lie to the kids knowing they wont get a job. Some will, if you are smart dont let me stop you, but most people are ignorant. One damn story on here after another about college shit. These stories would make one think that he couldnt get any pussy without college.How about a story of a man who has his own business & WORKS FOR HIS DAMN SELF< INSTEAD OF SOMEBODY ELSE TO BUILT HIS OWN HOUSE INSTEAD OF SOMEONE ELSE> A KIDS MOTHER WOULD SAY< I DONT WANT MY KID TO BREAK HIS BACK TO BUILD A HOUSE. Everywhere I go, coleege this and college that, it makes me want to puke. How would you like a college kid to be your boss, that has no understanging of a machine, then you hear a grandma who talks how sweet the college moochers are, when one thinks she is evil, too. These factories all moved overseas to keep from paying all these college kids big pay, & they know nothing. And because of them the world is ending. But everyone out there keep talking about how great the college is destroying us.
Great start
That's it. Great start. Keep it going. I won't go into an endless diatribe of conspiracy theorist bullshit like the other Anonymous guy.
Completely unearned
There was basically zero effort to build to anything with the sister; it just *happened*, with the thinnest justification imaginable. What's worse is that the majority of the narrative was laying groundwork for something else entirely. If Mrs. Kramer had walked in on him in the bathroom while over for dinner, it still would've been unearned, but at least it would've made sense from a narrative perspective. For all the ending had to do with the first 2,000 words, you might as well have closed with him winning the lottery, buying a yacht and sailing around the world. Titling it "You Never Know" doesn't absolve you of that sin..
#WTF
What was supposed to be ? start with the 60year ols plus boiler next door,Inviting her for thanksgiving next his sister is coming on to him in bathroom.IT Was all rushed !and WTF has next door neighbor to do with him fucking sister #WHY?
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