My College Visit with Alicia Ch. 01

Rushed

Great story but a little to rushed and it has no flow, get help by other's a little more details and longer chapter's

Good Start,

You started out fine, then rushed it finished and ruined what could have been a good story.

I do not know if english is your first lanuage

But you seriously need an editor. Keep working on it. Success comes from experience and an editor.

Online

There are online writing courses. Even a free one would be a possible improvement. And please get an editor before your next attempt.

Use an editor before you submit your work. They can check for spelling, word usage, and flow. The story started out good but then you rushed from that point on without details and realism.