Bacchus

Fantastic story but it has a few problems...

Probably my main gripe is that Laura just drops out of the story. We don't learn why she never went back to Bron or even if he remembers their time together before his coma. Despite her amazing character arc, there is no payoff on her relatioship with Bron.
Also I found the ending to be a bit depressing. Maybe it's just my deep rooted fear of memory loss, but I didn't care for how Bron ended up, and we'll never know if he ever got all his memories back.
Angelina leaving Bron, if it had to happen, should have been much more gradual. Have them slowly drifting apart, instead of giving me whip-lash.
Upon finishing, I was left with an empty feeling, like I wasn't actually finished. The story is already pretty long, but I think an extra chapter or two would have been helpful in smoothing out some of the problems.

Epic sci fi adventure

This needs to be a film.

Wow

This is definitely one of the best I've read on this site. Some parts felt like it was rushed such as the part of Sasha and Bron on The Hammer. Felt like like it was over in a page. Loved how you made Angeline seem so realistic. A genius is not a genius when it comes to emotions. She's said to be smart but life's not perfect.

Erotica with a plot

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Bron was a great character!!! I love Sci fi and erotica, you blended them together very well, and managed to combine various forms of erotica! Bravo!

womderful storyline

thank you for this intriguing and mesmerizing tale

Excellent story.... however, Bron and Angelina not coming together was such a buzzkill! They sacrificed so much for their love and it totally was just ended in one paragraph. No drifting apart or realizing that they didn't love eachother like they thought they did... just a boom and gone. Great story until the ending killed it.

Come on Burnt

We all know that Angelina was the main love interest here regardless of what you intended. Having her ending be this way just sucked. I figured I would give this a shot after enjoying the beginning of the Ed and Ben stories and then I got to this after reading the ending for Ed and (SPOIILER:) what happens with Margaux and Ben. Seriously man I love your work with character development, scenery, and general plot flow. But the heartache endings keep pissing me off. I enjoy reading the hurt in the beginning of the stories as this gets me emotionally invested, and even some tumultuous ground in the middle if it serves the plot or character growth, but when you end with pain I get this feeling that I would have been better off not reading any of it to begin with.

Nevertheless, I do thoroughly enjoy your writing style above all others on this site. Thank you for the reads and hope to find one that stands out above the rest for me.

bravo!

Normally I would encourage an author to write more but their story, but this tale of Bron is so wonderfully self-contained and satisfying. Thank you for your writing.

Enjoyed the read, but disappointed with the end

The end seemed rushed and muddled. I certainly do not understand the reason Angelina left, and Bailey's return. I didn't feel it. What kind of relationship does he have with these women? He loves and adopted a child with Sasha, he declares his love for Bailey, and she him. He bangs the other girls occasionally, and Angelina, who loved him so much, leaves him without a word. Very unsatisfying and jumbled ending

great story, top notch sci-fi although I have to agree with the few comments I've read that say the ending is a bit off. It's weirdly abrupt to read 26 pages of Angelina being the primary love interest for it to suddenly disappear. It was also far more jarring and out of place than how Ben was handled. It felt very forced, like it couldn't be a happily ever after so shit happens for tenuous reasons.

Still gave it a 5 because the story is fantastic, just a thought for the future

Overall good

You crafted an excellent story. Characters were likeable and lots of action both sheets and booms.

However, you lost your way with the club explosion. The Angelita betrayal was poorly done, Lauren dropping out was abrupt, the gang splitting also seemed out of character considering how tight you portrayed them. Honestly felt like you needed to wrap the story up and pushed through to an ending.

That being said you had a great concept and an engaging protagonist. Your world is wonderfully designed. I enjoyed the read despite my dissatisfaction with the ending.

Alright

This is definitely my least favorite story that BurntRedstone has written. It's three times better then most of the slop you'd find on this site. My biggest grievances is with the amnesia thing and Bron's muddled romances. I effing hate memory loss in stories, it annoys the hell out of me, plus it's not even clear how much he regains by the end of the story. Some of the relationships he has confuse me. I grasp the Angelina and Bailey situations with him. Sasha confuses me because they confess to be in love, but act like casual fuck-buddies most of the time, and never mention it again after the first time they admit it. Also Asami and Lauren seem to have reasons to love Bron, but we never see anything like that. I'll throw in Rhonda because she was there at the end.

Also this story just doesn't have the reread-ability I find in BurntRedstones other works, like The Most Valuable Gift or the Ben Shepherd story arcs. I find those much more enjoyable then Jack's saga or this

Good story but ...

Burntredstone does a nice job of developing his characters. This story is no exception. The thing that is offputting is his tendency to slip in political statements by disparaging people because of the region they are from or their beliefs. Generalizations only serve to alienate. It may be surprising, but Liberals are not always open-mind and contrary to popular opinion; Conservatives are not all closed minded racists and whatever list of phobes one wishes to add.

Case in point, yours truly is religious and conservative but yet appreciates stories on Literotica. Go figure. I think women of all races are beautiful, although I have an affinity for red-heads and asians. My wife of 30+ years, the only woman I had sexual relations with, is neither a redhead or asian. Love has a way of working past preconceived notions.

So please, BurntRedStone, continue to write your beautiful stories, but try to resist the temptation to denigrate those who may not line up with your political views. As you try to convey in your stories, love conquers all. Negative caricatures and applying labels on one group or another dismantles the any bridges that can be built between the two.

Time to step off my soapbox. :-)