All Comments on 'Just a Jab Ch. 01'

by GforGraham

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  • 14 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
good job

Keep up the good work. You have peaked my interest. Am going to add you to my favorites list on my phone. I hope that you continue with this story. Again great job.

Thanks for your efforts.

Wolfietl8969@hotmail.com

QuestioningLitQuestioningLitover 8 years ago
Interesting

I like it. A little mystery on what the problem is. I can't wait to read the next two dozen chapters. 8-)

SgtammoSgtammoover 8 years ago
good job

Definitely keep going. Very good read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
I like it

Want to read more ._)

Thanks

Nobody9999Nobody9999over 8 years ago
I say keep going

I enjoyed your writing style and content. I would like to see where the story goes.

mel_pomenemel_pomeneover 8 years ago
Interesting

I enjoyed this, new author (welcome to Lit, by the way) and I look forward to reading more. You write well -- thank you. Five stars.

openeyes2openeyes2over 8 years ago
Good beginning

Well written. Interested in reading more of the story.

wxwiseonewxwiseoneover 8 years ago
Continue

please continue you have really given us a great start.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Interesting start

Please continue - curious about what is wrong with John and why ejaculating caused him to wake up. John does seem a little too "good" as no one has a bad word to say about him, but no issues, as we do need more good people in the world. Not to be the grammar police, but fyi "Her and Linda had become friends....." should be "She and Linda had become friends....." “She” is a subjective pronoun while "her" is a possessive pronoun. That is, "Martha opened the door of her car" or "She opened the door of Martha's car."

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Very Nice

Keep on writing, you're doing fine!

GforGrahamGforGrahamover 8 years agoAuthor
Smile please

It is written tongue in cheek. Please just read and go with the flow as it should be viewed as entertainment.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
WTF?

In a hospital, unconscious, and an erection that has persisted for nealy three days and the medical staff haven't picked upon that? Have they never seen all the TV ads for Viagra or Cialis??? Never heard TV the warnings on TV about an erection lasting over FOUR HOURS??

Sorry, but I can't suspend that much disbelief!

Not rating and stopping right here.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

You succeeded in making your readers care about the characters. I don't think the issue of the long time erection is that big a deal but a little lampshading might help mollify skeptical readers. What I would like to see is a little more authenticating detail. For example, whe Janet pulled dinner from the freezer, what did she pull? What's the name of the hospital? This is your world, you get to decide these things. Using generic term feels uncertain.

TeddySmutWriterTeddySmutWriterabout 1 year ago

BTW I believe the four hours erection limit has to do with oxygen. (I'm not a medical professional but I practice rope bondage and have studied it's associated risks) Without freshly oxygenated blood for four hours, cells start to die. Since the penis was growing it was obviously getting fresh blood.

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I want to write more stories floating in my head, hoping they are shorter. Had 3+ years but cancer is back and treatment is starting. Hopefully this time can be rid of it. 11 Sep 20. Trying to get back to writing. It's slow going, as after 8 weeks of daily radiation treatment ...

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