Truth or Dare?

To many typos

The story concept is good and had possibilities but the spelling is atrocious putting it nicely. You need an editor to proof read and correct the misspelled words. I would recommend that you back and change all the mistakes and resubmit the story after its has been edited.

couldn't stand all the typos...

I'm sorry but I couldn't get pass the first couple of paragraphs because of the spelling. What I did read this story does has the possibility of being very good, providing you go back and edit it and have someone proof read it first. Once you correct all the mistakes and anything else that needs to be changed than resubmit it.
I only give it a 2 instead of a 1 because it has promise, but not the way it is now. If you decide to redo it give us a little more background and character development than what you have so far. Don't give up on it.

Nice

More please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not bad

I started reading it but couldn't carry on. Spelling is atrocious. Number one thing to do before posting anything is to proof read to yourself and correct any mistakes. Obviously you didn't do anything about it.

Wondering if English is your primary language? If not, it would be helpful to have someone proofread your story that does have English as their primary language. Grammar and sentence structure are very awkward, and destroy any word-pictures you are trying to create. Good story line and concept, tho.

What the fuck

If ur going to post something make sure to check spelling and grammar. You wrote like a 5 year old.

Unreadable

Unfortunately it's just not readable. There might be a story in here, but the typos, grammar errors and awkward sentence constructs just make it unreadable.

Forfatter

The writers username translates from norwegian to: author

Good story

You have a very hot story, although it is need of some editing. I would like to see a second chapter. Some people are being overly hard with their comments.

Thank you for sharing.....

I was able to read your story even though it is clear that English is not your native language. You have a good story line, I've always loved the truth or dare stories.

I suggest that you get an English speaking editor to help you before you submit another story. That wail help keep the negative commenters away...

Thank you again...
RecHiker

Forgive the harsh comments.

Apologize in advance for the boorish comments from some of our less educated fellow readers...I'm guessing he's either drunk, or perhaps elderly, given his rudeness and noobish need to type all in caps. As others have mentioned, I'm guessing English is a second language, but even given that, I found your story very hot and exciting. Hope to read more of your stories, and again, our apologies for the anger displayed.

2 / 5

Could be a very good story, as someone else mentioned either English is not your first language or you put too much faith in Google. See if you can get an editor, can be easier for someone not personally attached to a story to see what are obvious mistakes.

truth or dare....

Good story, keep this going...but get an english editer please.....
cant wait for next chapter of truth or dare, please....

Story line

Editing needed, but does not make the story. Story is good, add mother as another mature woman and let sister and brother enjoy.

Get an editor

Couldn't get passed all of the grammatical errors, hence could not even get into the story.

good story

love the incest

Great start

downhill quickly from there, Truth or Dare! got one truth in next thing they are fucking & story's finished

Terrible spelling and grammar.

I once posted a story to this site which had been triple checked and edited for grammar and spellings but was denied for grammar. Yet somehow stories like this with no attempt at using the correct words and spellings, has been allowed on the site.

Should have been better.

I feel like the story would have been a lot better if you'd of given an editor a once over at it before posting it. It was pritty hard to read even by my standards :D

Grammer must be hard. The story was extremely flat and poorly written. Please do us a favor and don't post a story on here until it has been edited at least once. It feels like a 10 year old wrote this, try rereading what you wrote before you post it. There is absolutely no way you could have missed the errors in the first paragraph alone if you actually read what you wrote.

Trading information

If Mike tell his sister about sex with Edith Brown, then she can tell him about blowing her teacher, and maybe compare Mike with her teacher: Is Mike bigger than her teacher? Maybe Mike has more or less chest hair than her teacher?

Google Translate????

From Chinese or Hindi? Who knows but it is virtually unreadable.

Such a simple premise

This a simple, yet efficient premise. However, I was disappointed with your poor writing skills and your ability to tell a story.

editor

get a god-damn editor you mother-fucker.

good story

I liked this story.It was pretty good.The comments about grammar and spelling are a bit harsh.I did think it went a little fast from just talking to their "fun", but I did enjoy it anyway.

Needs proof reading!

Does anyone ever proof read their stories. Spell check does not work for all errors. This is a prime example of that!

I gave up!

It IS unreadable!
Too bad stupidity/illiteracy can't be be fixed.

If only you would give up onLit and leave us all alone dear annony

5 for effort and content. Fuck annony!

Edit

Your story line is good but that tells the entire positive side for your effort. Your spelling and syntax need a lot of work. The errors are very distracting. Please don't give up writing, but please get help. There are many of us that volunteer to edit for this site.

Needs help

The spelling and grammar are pretty atrocious and it sounds like it was written in a different language and then translated to English. No one would say, "I know it's incest, but". It could definitely be a bit more realistic.

hope you try again

sorry i think you need to return to school and learn to write either English or what ever language you are trying to do as you write your story and then learn to put three words together so they make some kind of structure. over all i found your story very boring and had to re read it after every paragraph to make any sense out of it. hope you try again

Just shoot me

The writing here is just plain garbage. The editor program should be REQUIRED not optional. I like the concept of this story, but it literally strained my eyes trying to get past the typos and horrendous grammar. Go to the editor program, have this fixed, and then re-submit. You could have a great story here.

Get an editor

or learn how to spell. There were so many misspelled words I had to stop reading it.

SPELL CHECK

Grear story needs a chapter Two but use Spell Check.

take it off line

Dude I would be ashamed if I was the author of this it sucked hell that is being nice there was no build up to it no description of the people in the story your spelling is worse than a 3rd grader pure and simple truth you can't write worth a damn

A Useful Thing To Do...

...would be to kill yourself. (Provided you remove all traces of your "writing" from the entire internet first!)

One of two things...

Either English is not a first, second or third language of yours, or you are an illiterate teenager.

Proof read

Definitely start proofreading. This is bad

I assume your first language isn't English. I'd suggest either proof read multiple times yourself, or ask someone to look it over for you. Some of your errors seem to be more likely related to your fluency in English.