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Good
Liked it, keep on writing.
Too short
Story is way too short. You had me quite hot and wet and ALMOST on the very edge of a climax.
Poof!
All of a sudden you ended what had been an excellent story!
Please, sequel - and I promise to cum all the way at the end this time!
Janet B.
You Forgot To Use A Flash**
For this flash story.
Too Rushed
It doesn't show a woman her place if you go "my slave" at the end of every sentence. There are very other good ways to show domination. Bowing, kneeling etc. Additionally, it jumped to sex far too quickly. Wnd a climax doesn't always have to be the end.
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