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English
Damn.
Okay, I see I need to make time to read more fo your story list. Damn, my cloaked friend you have improved!
That was a fucking awesome story, dude.
At first it brought back a ton of memories from when I was a teen, going fishing with a buddy of mine, we camped on an island and fished all night.
Then it got hot! Awesome writing there. A foursome is so hard to pull off well in writing since there are double of everything to keep track of.
And then you used "that" to add the spooky element! Excellent work.
Critique: (just because it's me and I have to do these)
Really only one thing stood out, and you corrected that by the mid-story point.
When you have that many names at the beginning of a story try to add a few more "My wife, " or "my husband" as directional sign posts to who is who in the story. Up to that point, Becca and Hannah were simply names to your readers. Any distraction (and reading with no distractions is almost impossible) and your reader can lose track of who is who's wife.
Get them sign posts.
Again spectacular story. Bravos!
MST
Bump in the night.
I Liked how you did not bother to explain the unknown element. The friendships, awkwardness, and passion were all on point. I truly enjoyed this, well done.
Why couldn't you enjoy it and let us do so?
Send the YETI away, you prick!
wow
ok so i cant decide now which is my fav...yours is the very last ive read and it blew me away ( yes i read with lights off) its between u and tamlin01's the last halloween. far out. sorta wish they had climaxed before the horror but im not complaining! good luck, sopharoones
This is the first...
Story of yours I have read. It won't be the last. Dark, brooding atmospheric. Well done.
very good sex, very spooky
nicely written, great sex, just enough of a touch of the scare factor all in all a great Halloween story
TIZ ME
Very good story up until the end. Seemed it just left it all hanging , like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. I really don't like that kind of ending. The Love , Sex and Mystery was great .
I loved this.
Well, until the new guy showed up. I'm a pansy. Super creepy, but super sexy.
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