That was an amazing first chapter. It has a new angle then most and was also very hot! I cant wait for the next one and would love for it to be longer. :)
PLEASE continue it soon! So good to have something different in this category!
by
Anonymous10/12/15
Great Job!
I really loved the first chapter. You did a great job. Can't wait for more.
by
Anonymous10/12/15
More please
I would love to read more of this. So cubs turn into wolves at he six huh? And she got scared of them at age 5? It makes me think she she suppressed her wolf. After the alpha gets her to trust him, she will change. . . I was going to wait and see, but I wanted to write it just so you know your foreshadowing is working if that is your plan
.
by
Anonymous10/12/15
Hot
Keep going
by
Anonymous10/12/15
don't like it
1. come on black wolf with green eyes, black haired man with green eyes?? not even a spoiler alert..
2. she is independent, she is submissive to her true mate? give her a bit more spine
3. a foreign alpha wolf walking around the local alpha house? great social manners...
4, she's a "null" but there is the 5 year tragedy just before the big "unveiling"? so she will have mystical powers and actually an alpha++...
You've written a fine piece of smut, and a great first story (hopefully just its first chapter). Nothing wrong with clichés when the story is written well.
Only cautioning I offer is make sure you are consistent and have really properly nailed down any accent writing you do. That's one of the few things that can really derail a story if you can't recognize which character is talking, even when it gives you the name. No criticism for this one, just something to keep in mind.
by
Anonymous10/13/15
Ignore haters hiding behind keyboards
Girl got spark and game, and hell, I'm feeling just as let down as she was when he walked out, because damn does he need to show us what he's packing. Keep writing, and remember, no matter what anyone tells you, you write what you need to write and ignore the noise, you be you and the people that love what you create will follow.
Yes, you've got some heavy tropes here, but that's pretty much expected in a werewolf story. I've read very few authors who don't use the same plot/character outline, and fewer who have done it successfully.
On top of that, your writing is good enough to allow it.
I disagree with whoever said she was being submissive to her mate. She IS doing what he wants, but she has her own reasons. She's not obeying him, he's successfully playing her.
Now, I'm with anon. Your hints are not subtle. It's pretty obvious her childhood trauma is suppressing her wolf. She's not a null at all, definitely an alpha bitch.
As for accents.....I hate them. Some people do a worse job than others, but mostly they read super awkward, and sometimes even offensive.
I look forward to reading more...please don't take too long to post!
by
Anonymous10/13/15
Mooooooooore
Love your story so muc,hope you'll be putting up a new chapter soon...
Great first chapter. I think that her wolf has been suppressed or at least I hope so. If Killian is an honorable person, he is what she will need to help her. She definitely will put up a fight.
A very masculine Irish rogue...of the good kind. The story can go any of several ways at this point and it's almost always a good idea to leave your readers wanting more. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Loved it! Can't wait until next chapter!!! Hurry Please!!!
by
Anonymous10/14/15
More please!
Looking forward to the next chapters
by
Anonymous10/15/15
Loved it!
I hope you write more soon!
by
Anonymous10/15/15
More?
I think its an amazing start and one I'd like to read more of...hope you continue it soon. As others have said I see so many avenues this could go down....love it!
English
That was an amazing first chapter. It has a new angle then most and was also very hot! I cant wait for the next one and would love for it to be longer. :)
PLEASE continue it soon! So good to have something different in this category!
Great Job!
I really loved the first chapter. You did a great job. Can't wait for more.
More please
I would love to read more of this. So cubs turn into wolves at he six huh? And she got scared of them at age 5? It makes me think she she suppressed her wolf. After the alpha gets her to trust him, she will change. . . I was going to wait and see, but I wanted to write it just so you know your foreshadowing is working if that is your plan
.
Hot
Keep going
don't like it
1. come on black wolf with green eyes, black haired man with green eyes?? not even a spoiler alert..
2. she is independent, she is submissive to her true mate? give her a bit more spine
3. a foreign alpha wolf walking around the local alpha house? great social manners...
4, she's a "null" but there is the 5 year tragedy just before the big "unveiling"? so she will have mystical powers and actually an alpha++...
too much of the standard clichés
👍👍👍👍👍
Love this story so far!!!!! Forget all the haters and please continue with this story.
You've done well
You've written a fine piece of smut, and a great first story (hopefully just its first chapter). Nothing wrong with clichés when the story is written well.
Only cautioning I offer is make sure you are consistent and have really properly nailed down any accent writing you do. That's one of the few things that can really derail a story if you can't recognize which character is talking, even when it gives you the name. No criticism for this one, just something to keep in mind.
Ignore haters hiding behind keyboards
Girl got spark and game, and hell, I'm feeling just as let down as she was when he walked out, because damn does he need to show us what he's packing. Keep writing, and remember, no matter what anyone tells you, you write what you need to write and ignore the noise, you be you and the people that love what you create will follow.
Good Job
Please continue.
Keep going
Yes, you've got some heavy tropes here, but that's pretty much expected in a werewolf story. I've read very few authors who don't use the same plot/character outline, and fewer who have done it successfully.
On top of that, your writing is good enough to allow it.
I disagree with whoever said she was being submissive to her mate. She IS doing what he wants, but she has her own reasons. She's not obeying him, he's successfully playing her.
Now, I'm with anon. Your hints are not subtle. It's pretty obvious her childhood trauma is suppressing her wolf. She's not a null at all, definitely an alpha bitch.
As for accents.....I hate them. Some people do a worse job than others, but mostly they read super awkward, and sometimes even offensive.
I look forward to reading more...please don't take too long to post!
Mooooooooore
Love your story so muc,hope you'll be putting up a new chapter soon...
Great first chapter. I think that her wolf has been suppressed or at least I hope so. If Killian is an honorable person, he is what she will need to help her. She definitely will put up a fight.
LOL....Great start
A very masculine Irish rogue...of the good kind. The story can go any of several ways at this point and it's almost always a good idea to leave your readers wanting more. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Keep Going
I'm intrigued i hope you keep writing!
wow!!!
Loved it! Can't wait until next chapter!!! Hurry Please!!!
More please!
Looking forward to the next chapters
Loved it!
I hope you write more soon!
More?
I think its an amazing start and one I'd like to read more of...hope you continue it soon. As others have said I see so many avenues this could go down....love it!
addicting
I loved it, I hope you continue with more chapters soon. I can't wait to see where you take the story.
love it😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going Keep Going. .......... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maybe once she accept him as her mate and then maybe her wolf will appear
Great start..
Hooked. Can't wait to see what's in store
I Need More!
I swear if you don't continue this, I'll...
Fab!
This was great, your main characters are fun and spunky! Loved it!!
SO glad this has a continuation!
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