Always a subject that makes me feel so SMALL. I think we all admire guys with big dicks and this story line is very typical of many similar contributions. I personally prefer the angle of the female point of view but enjoyable just the same.
by
Anonymous10/16/15
Needs proofreading
This story isn't very long, but is still full of errors that make it harder to read. If you want people to read and enjoy your stories, you might want to make them easier to read - take the time to read it over and fix the mistakes.
For example:
"She whimpered and almost started crying but she tolled him to stop, she just obeyed."
"tolled" -> "told"
Most importantly it says she "told him to stop". Then it says she didn't. Which is it?
Keep it up, you'll get better, you already got a good idea of what's hot.
by
Anonymous10/16/15
Sorry, but Got Nothing Out of This...
Perhaps you like poor relationships or enjoy humiliation, but I got nothing out of this. Unfaithful girlfriend, cocky punk with no moral/conscience, and a pansy boyfriend...
There's no way a woman with a boyfriend like that would simply succumb. Especially to a high school student. She may go back and fuck him later but, his value as a boyfriend is negligible. And monster dick aside, there's no way her boyfriend's more than adequate did k suddenly becomes 8nadequate.
As for the monster being as wide as a coke can, he's not gonna get that in her pussy easily, let alone in her as.
There is nothing to like about this (I hesitate to call it a) story
2* Only because they delete the 1* votes.
by
Anonymous10/17/15
good effort
A nice effort for a first try but yeah, you need to work on the buildup. She shouldn't just go all wobbly because she sees a big dick. The real heat in a story like this is the transition from loyal girlfriend to willing submissive and that takes time. The actual sex scene could be longer and more involved too. But like I said, good effort.
by
Anonymous10/17/15
I had to laugh
because it was the most ridiculous story I've ever read. Almost like a little boy daydreaming of what he would like to do. What's even worse, some actually thought this was erotic. Doesn't take much to please some, does it?
by
Anonymous10/17/15
The Short Answer
To the complaints is that it is a fantasy. But, you still need to make the scene somewhat believable for your readers to connect to it.
by
Anonymous10/17/15
Really???
If you're going to write stories to be read publicly then PLEASE reread and edit them. Its not hard, people!
by
Anonymous10/18/15
Good effort!
Good cuck story and hot over all.
Some critiques, a little more humiliation for the boyfriend. The kid is rich, expand on that. Even have the teen beat up the boyfriend.
More description with the sex, the set up was good but you should have more description with the positions, her pleasure, and the shame and arousal of the boyfriend.
Over all good though. You should continue the story of this arrogant kid with a huge cock. Always tell it from the cucks perspective. The concept of this rich teen with a huge cock fucking model girlfriends of other men is hot.
For sure give it another go.
by
Anonymous10/25/15
Loved it!
I really don't care about the grammar, although I have to say that there weren't as many errors as I'v e seen in some other stories. I came to find a good story to cum to and being the little dirty happy girl that I am, I would get excited after seeing a big cock dangling in front of me and listening to a cocky boy taunt me with it.
I think this had the right amount of detail, although very sadistic and abusive to the boyfriend it would be traumatizing in reality and I personally would not like that as psychologically it can leave a lot of damage, everything else was great.
Very inspiring to write my own.
by
Anonymous04/05/16
Awesome
Great, just what I like!
by
Anonymous10/02/16
Key hole?
Must be an old AF house!
by
Anonymous11/12/16
She Needed A Reason To Cheat
Enjoyable reading and the end where the boyfriend left was perfect to show how he wasn't going to be a cuckold male.Rated it as a five.
English
Big & basic.
Always a subject that makes me feel so SMALL. I think we all admire guys with big dicks and this story line is very typical of many similar contributions. I personally prefer the angle of the female point of view but enjoyable just the same.
Needs proofreading
This story isn't very long, but is still full of errors that make it harder to read. If you want people to read and enjoy your stories, you might want to make them easier to read - take the time to read it over and fix the mistakes.
For example:
"She whimpered and almost started crying but she tolled him to stop, she just obeyed."
"tolled" -> "told"
Most importantly it says she "told him to stop". Then it says she didn't. Which is it?
u
Gbfkm
Hot
Keep it up, you'll get better, you already got a good idea of what's hot.
Sorry, but Got Nothing Out of This...
Perhaps you like poor relationships or enjoy humiliation, but I got nothing out of this. Unfaithful girlfriend, cocky punk with no moral/conscience, and a pansy boyfriend...
Stoopid
There's no way a woman with a boyfriend like that would simply succumb. Especially to a high school student. She may go back and fuck him later but, his value as a boyfriend is negligible. And monster dick aside, there's no way her boyfriend's more than adequate did k suddenly becomes 8nadequate.
As for the monster being as wide as a coke can, he's not gonna get that in her pussy easily, let alone in her as.
Really really BAD!
There is nothing to like about this (I hesitate to call it a) story
2* Only because they delete the 1* votes.
good effort
A nice effort for a first try but yeah, you need to work on the buildup. She shouldn't just go all wobbly because she sees a big dick. The real heat in a story like this is the transition from loyal girlfriend to willing submissive and that takes time. The actual sex scene could be longer and more involved too. But like I said, good effort.
I had to laugh
because it was the most ridiculous story I've ever read. Almost like a little boy daydreaming of what he would like to do. What's even worse, some actually thought this was erotic. Doesn't take much to please some, does it?
The Short Answer
To the complaints is that it is a fantasy. But, you still need to make the scene somewhat believable for your readers to connect to it.
Really???
If you're going to write stories to be read publicly then PLEASE reread and edit them. Its not hard, people!
Good effort!
Good cuck story and hot over all.
Some critiques, a little more humiliation for the boyfriend. The kid is rich, expand on that. Even have the teen beat up the boyfriend.
More description with the sex, the set up was good but you should have more description with the positions, her pleasure, and the shame and arousal of the boyfriend.
Over all good though. You should continue the story of this arrogant kid with a huge cock. Always tell it from the cucks perspective. The concept of this rich teen with a huge cock fucking model girlfriends of other men is hot.
For sure give it another go.
Loved it!
I really don't care about the grammar, although I have to say that there weren't as many errors as I'v e seen in some other stories. I came to find a good story to cum to and being the little dirty happy girl that I am, I would get excited after seeing a big cock dangling in front of me and listening to a cocky boy taunt me with it.
I think this had the right amount of detail, although very sadistic and abusive to the boyfriend it would be traumatizing in reality and I personally would not like that as psychologically it can leave a lot of damage, everything else was great.
Very inspiring to write my own.
Awesome
Great, just what I like!
Key hole?
Must be an old AF house!
She Needed A Reason To Cheat
Enjoyable reading and the end where the boyfriend left was perfect to show how he wasn't going to be a cuckold male.Rated it as a five.
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