Holly and Keith

Yawn inducing.

so he was easily bought out of her life ans she became a girls gone wild fuck slut,then they both grow up and it all ok?fuck no.

Promising

These two took the roundabout way to get together. Maybe they have some promise? I'd give more description. Keith can be a good looking guy sporting a bit of chest hair, a good sized cock and pubes. Anxious to read the second chapter!

The Story Was Getting Very Interesting***

And then it ended, but still a good read. Thanks for sharing.

i always enjoy a good cinderella / prince charming / sleeping beauty / frog prince story ... the writing in this one was ok , compacted alot of life's events into a very few words , at best i would say this is a 4 star plot outline for a potentialy very good story.
lacks depth of character , and needs much more dialogue bewteen the protagonists to really engage the readers emotions .

great!

For a minute there i thought you were gonna give bit by bit details on how the kiss led to your bedroom and how it all went down but hey that was nice. Fate can never be changed by anyone.
Loved it!!!!

romance?

how do you create a romance with keith (continuous improver ) and holly a skank slut. rebellion happens at home so parents see it not after grown making your own choices. porn shoot is for the world so keith will eventually see it. The story is very nicely written.