Simple and well written. Just tasteful with softness, without going too much , a women's read by the sensuality and emotions. It would be interesting to find out the rest - especially about the identity of Ronan and how they fare in going deeper together.
Thanks for the excitement, nice to read something different and so erotic!
by
Anonymous10/14/15
5 *s. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it!!!!!
More please. You can't leave it there. A great story with realistic characters. Sexy and mysterious. Can't wait for more. Well done. Would have given 10 *s if possible.
by
Anonymous10/14/15
That was amazing!
Please don't let it end on this note -- I'm gagging for more! Five stars -- great big shiny ones!
You've experimented with several variations of this scenario (I tend to do the same with some of my stuff) and I believe this version turned out the strongest, the most convincing and satisfying, storywise and sexwise. Your plots are always structured and paced pretty darn good, and your dialogue and character work stand up to scrutiny. You often rush through the nitty-gritty sex bits a little quick for my taste. You can be too terse, somewhat distant, somewhat mechanical. Again, this is a matter of taste. There's much to be said for restraint and subtlety. My own approach is to try to stretch out and heighten those sequences as much as possible. I'm sure for at least some readers I go quite a bit overboard. The difference as I view it: your sex scenes usually feel like something I'm observing happen on a screen, or worse, learning about secondhand and long after the fact, a dispassionate listing of events or activities, as opposed to an experience the reader shares in the mind and the spirit of the character as it occurs. For example, one of your lady detectives gets fucked and you tell us she has an orgasm, then you tell us she's ashamed ... but you don't always manage to make us feel it enough. You don't always make me believe or understand why she would feel that way. You don't quite bring the events fully to life as much as I imagine you could, if you pushed harder. Put in more tangible detail, both physical and emotional, more internalization, more transitional shades along the way. If it only takes a couple sentences for one character to make another have an orgasm, to me this indicates more needs to be said, or at any rate could stand being said even if it's not strictly necessary. Although I hasten to add you've improved on all of these points as you continue to build your catalog. Your more recent tales, this one in particular, "live and breathe" much more vividly and convincingly than earlier efforts. I intend this feedback only to encourage further experimentation and offer some possible avenues to consider. My other favorite of yours in the one with the princess hiding out with her maid. Personally incest is a taboo too far for me, just ain't my bag, and yet a few of yours that go down that road have got under my skin pretty well regardless. There's one that fired me up pretty good with a sister and brother at a masked sex party very much like happens again here ... Didn't you have another fantasy one with a warrior woman trying to save a captive queen from a witch and werewolves? It seems to have vanished, if you did. Maybe I just can't find it in the list -- yours has got impressively long. Anyway, that tale was one where you had a real solid overall plot, but I wasn't at all satisfied with the kinky bits in it. They all felt lifeless for me. Apologies if I'm confused and this is some other guy's story I'm talking about now, which would explain why I can't find it on your page. If it is yours, I'd like to see you take another crack at that kind of scenario, and hopefully rev up your motor more when you do.
I'm a little out of my element here. All my stuff is either in the romantic or the loving wives section. I did enjoy this; it was an interesting change of pace.
Alas I'm an old hand; been around since the days of Netscape. Years ago there was an author named Blair Breck who wrote somewhat similar stories. Had she written this our redhead would have had a far different experience. I believe Ronan had persuaded her to tell no one where she was going; once inside the mansion and separated from her 'protector' Breck would have revealed the true reason for her visit. She would have been told they knew who she was, and she'd gotten too close to several movers and shakers. Now once in the mansion she was destined to never leave, to remain till the end of her days a toy, a plaything for the men whom she'd tried to trap, a slave for life.
Thanks I enjoyed your piece. I might read some more.
Jedd Clampett
by
Anonymous02/02/16
Thoughtful
Very well done. I enjoyed how restrained it was. Not some mindless fuckfest. Classy.
Having established the connection, I'd be keen for this to develop.
I have a curiosity about who Ronan is and what else the Detective will enjoy. Bravo for a fine story.
This is an awesome story, please write a 2d chapter. Good build, nice development of the character and I even like the unfinished bit of mystery about certain characters. Definitely want to see more. Love redheads!
English
Awesome! This is the type of erotic story I get into.
SIMPLY OUTSTANDING
Wowwwwwwwwwww!!!
Whats to comment ----5 Big stars -----Superstars !!!!!!!!!!
Love redhead!
Loved the whole story. Maybe the adventures of Detective Kimberly Grante will become a series... Thanks.
Just nice
Simple and well written. Just tasteful with softness, without going too much , a women's read by the sensuality and emotions. It would be interesting to find out the rest - especially about the identity of Ronan and how they fare in going deeper together.
Liked it much!
Thanks for the excitement, nice to read something different and so erotic!
5 *s. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it!!!!!
More please. You can't leave it there. A great story with realistic characters. Sexy and mysterious. Can't wait for more. Well done. Would have given 10 *s if possible.
That was amazing!
Please don't let it end on this note -- I'm gagging for more! Five stars -- great big shiny ones!
Your Best of These,So Far ...
You've experimented with several variations of this scenario (I tend to do the same with some of my stuff) and I believe this version turned out the strongest, the most convincing and satisfying, storywise and sexwise. Your plots are always structured and paced pretty darn good, and your dialogue and character work stand up to scrutiny. You often rush through the nitty-gritty sex bits a little quick for my taste. You can be too terse, somewhat distant, somewhat mechanical. Again, this is a matter of taste. There's much to be said for restraint and subtlety. My own approach is to try to stretch out and heighten those sequences as much as possible. I'm sure for at least some readers I go quite a bit overboard. The difference as I view it: your sex scenes usually feel like something I'm observing happen on a screen, or worse, learning about secondhand and long after the fact, a dispassionate listing of events or activities, as opposed to an experience the reader shares in the mind and the spirit of the character as it occurs. For example, one of your lady detectives gets fucked and you tell us she has an orgasm, then you tell us she's ashamed ... but you don't always manage to make us feel it enough. You don't always make me believe or understand why she would feel that way. You don't quite bring the events fully to life as much as I imagine you could, if you pushed harder. Put in more tangible detail, both physical and emotional, more internalization, more transitional shades along the way. If it only takes a couple sentences for one character to make another have an orgasm, to me this indicates more needs to be said, or at any rate could stand being said even if it's not strictly necessary. Although I hasten to add you've improved on all of these points as you continue to build your catalog. Your more recent tales, this one in particular, "live and breathe" much more vividly and convincingly than earlier efforts. I intend this feedback only to encourage further experimentation and offer some possible avenues to consider. My other favorite of yours in the one with the princess hiding out with her maid. Personally incest is a taboo too far for me, just ain't my bag, and yet a few of yours that go down that road have got under my skin pretty well regardless. There's one that fired me up pretty good with a sister and brother at a masked sex party very much like happens again here ... Didn't you have another fantasy one with a warrior woman trying to save a captive queen from a witch and werewolves? It seems to have vanished, if you did. Maybe I just can't find it in the list -- yours has got impressively long. Anyway, that tale was one where you had a real solid overall plot, but I wasn't at all satisfied with the kinky bits in it. They all felt lifeless for me. Apologies if I'm confused and this is some other guy's story I'm talking about now, which would explain why I can't find it on your page. If it is yours, I'd like to see you take another crack at that kind of scenario, and hopefully rev up your motor more when you do.
Women Have Needs!
Ronan Filled the Detective Both Their Needs! HeyAll The Readers; Needs! Thanks!
Golly...
I'm a little out of my element here. All my stuff is either in the romantic or the loving wives section. I did enjoy this; it was an interesting change of pace.
Alas I'm an old hand; been around since the days of Netscape. Years ago there was an author named Blair Breck who wrote somewhat similar stories. Had she written this our redhead would have had a far different experience. I believe Ronan had persuaded her to tell no one where she was going; once inside the mansion and separated from her 'protector' Breck would have revealed the true reason for her visit. She would have been told they knew who she was, and she'd gotten too close to several movers and shakers. Now once in the mansion she was destined to never leave, to remain till the end of her days a toy, a plaything for the men whom she'd tried to trap, a slave for life.
Thanks I enjoyed your piece. I might read some more.
Jedd Clampett
Thoughtful
Very well done. I enjoyed how restrained it was. Not some mindless fuckfest. Classy.
I'd be keen for this to continue
Having established the connection, I'd be keen for this to develop.
I have a curiosity about who Ronan is and what else the Detective will enjoy. Bravo for a fine story.
well done - one of your better stories
Very well done
This is an awesome story, please write a 2d chapter. Good build, nice development of the character and I even like the unfinished bit of mystery about certain characters. Definitely want to see more. Love redheads!
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