As sex has not reared its ugly head yet, I can only write about the economic situation. Why would a mother and a son want a 3 bathroomed, 4 bedroomed house and actually think that they could pay for a property of that size. It is total madness and if everyone in the U.S. thinks that way it is no wonder that there has been a huge economic problem that unfortunately has been passed onto other countries who do not live so extravagantly and debt ridden.
Just like the old movie house serial, this is progressing in each installment! Bravo Susan!
The scene is set, mother is upset over loosing the home and their ungrateful neighbors. Having had an unsuccessful dating experience, Jennifer is prime for Michael's sympathetic touch and understanding eyes. All while Michael's manhood is igniting and just about ready to blast a scalding stream. We both know what mother and son are looking for, but when will it happen? Dealing with the quality writer Susan Jill Parker happens to be-might just be anytime. Anxious to learn more of their ribald play and desires. 5 stars again, keep them fresh and coming SJP, you are the best of the best! :) Smiling Jaybird :) \
For me personally it takes too long before the action starts. I love teasing a lot as you write in your other stories. This one is not my fav. But i never wrote a story and have no idea how difficult it is.
Literotica is NOT a place for political commentary...
Susan,
I generally like most of your stories, but this one? If I could give negative stars, I would give the maximum.
99.9% of people visit Literotica to read hot, well-written erotic stories, and it's a safe bet that the other 0.1% aren't here to read an author's political rants.
You're two full chapters into this saga...and while there's been a bit of eroticism from the perspective of what the mother and son are thinking, the "action" has been non-existent. IF the political commentary was missing, the lack of action would be acceptable, in the sense of creating a "build-up" of desire...but, because 30-40% of the stories is devoted to politics, it becomes a massive turn-off.
Susan, there's an old cliche that says "You don't discuss politics and religion in a bar"; that same rule applies here. Ditch the politics, and this becomes a hot story. Since you chose not to, this is a very poor effort.
Actually Mike you wrote my story is a poor effort yet, I couldn't find anything that you have written, other than this bashing comment, for me to learn from you how to write a story.
You seem to only be interested in sex. You have that in common with politicians. Most politicians seem to be interested in sex in much as they are interested in power, influence, and money. Yet, I don't write pornography. I write erotica. Perhaps you'd more find that you're looking for by reading another author.
Then, when you say that 30 to 40% of my story is devoted to politics, I must challenge you on your math skills. When you add up all 50,000 words of this story, which you haven't even finished reading yet and I haven't finished posting yet, I doubt the political commentary will approach 10% with most of that happening in the last chapter.
The bottom line Mike, like it or not, read it or not, but the reason why the financial meltdown happened is because of people like you. You have your head up your ass. You'd rather drink your beer, watch your sports, look at your porn, and masturbate than protesting against a few, old, white men picking your pockets, throwing you out of a job, foreclosing on your house, sending our jobs to China, and giving you less opportunities. I take it you didn't graduate college, otherwise you'd be protesting the high cost of education and student loans.
Let me give you a tip Mike. If you think what happened in 2008 is bad, apparently, you don't, it's going to happen again. Only, this time what will happen will be much worse because if they got away with it once with no one going to jail, they'll get away with it again.
Alas, even mother and son sex must be interrupted by world events. Only, in my story, instead of politics and greed pulling a mother and son apart by losing their house, it brought them closer together. It made them want to find comfort and be sexually intimate with one another. Don't you love a happy ending Mike? Unfortunately, the only happy ending you're interest in is ejaculating.
In chapter six, I have enough sex between Jennifer and her son, Michael to make you forget your misery, your bad attitude, and your rudeness. Now go sit down and wait a few days until I post chapter six. Chapter four will post tomorrow. Chapter five will post on Monday and I'm still writing chapter six.
Thank you so very much for reading, critiquing, and down voting my story. You are the reason why I wrote this story. You are the reason why this story needed to be written. It's because of people like you, who don't get involved and who don't care what happens in their world other than what happens to them, that a few men stole hundreds of millions and billions of dollars.
Shame on you, Mike. Shame on you. I'm embarrassed for you. I'm embarrassed that you're such a dope, such a loser. You deserved what the politicians gave you but the rest of us surely don't.
By the way Mike, read my reply. Now go back and read your reply. Tell me and be honest now, which comment is more literate, your comment to my story or my reply to your bashing comment?
I dare say that you couldn't write a grammatically correct paragraph and you dare criticize my story. Well, Mike, I didn't write this story for you. I wrote this story for your mother. Yeah, I did. Your mother hired me to write this story because you're such a dickhead. If you want to blame someone for me writing this story, blame your mother.
...deliciously building now. I'm very intrigued by this style of yours, the way you weave in the social commentary and character development. The hesitancy. The obvious love. Excellent!
English
Good Stuff!
Please rush the next installment.
excellent
Can wait to read next chapter. Another great story Susan
Financial Problems
As sex has not reared its ugly head yet, I can only write about the economic situation. Why would a mother and a son want a 3 bathroomed, 4 bedroomed house and actually think that they could pay for a property of that size. It is total madness and if everyone in the U.S. thinks that way it is no wonder that there has been a huge economic problem that unfortunately has been passed onto other countries who do not live so extravagantly and debt ridden.
Just like the old movie house serial, this is progressing in each installment! Bravo Susan!
The scene is set, mother is upset over loosing the home and their ungrateful neighbors. Having had an unsuccessful dating experience, Jennifer is prime for Michael's sympathetic touch and understanding eyes. All while Michael's manhood is igniting and just about ready to blast a scalding stream. We both know what mother and son are looking for, but when will it happen? Dealing with the quality writer Susan Jill Parker happens to be-might just be anytime. Anxious to learn more of their ribald play and desires. 5 stars again, keep them fresh and coming SJP, you are the best of the best! :) Smiling Jaybird :) \
Too long
For me personally it takes too long before the action starts. I love teasing a lot as you write in your other stories. This one is not my fav. But i never wrote a story and have no idea how difficult it is.
lots of tension
lots of drama.
the space is closing in on them.
Literotica is NOT a place for political commentary...
Susan,
I generally like most of your stories, but this one? If I could give negative stars, I would give the maximum.
99.9% of people visit Literotica to read hot, well-written erotic stories, and it's a safe bet that the other 0.1% aren't here to read an author's political rants.
You're two full chapters into this saga...and while there's been a bit of eroticism from the perspective of what the mother and son are thinking, the "action" has been non-existent. IF the political commentary was missing, the lack of action would be acceptable, in the sense of creating a "build-up" of desire...but, because 30-40% of the stories is devoted to politics, it becomes a massive turn-off.
Susan, there's an old cliche that says "You don't discuss politics and religion in a bar"; that same rule applies here. Ditch the politics, and this becomes a hot story. Since you chose not to, this is a very poor effort.
Actually Mike you wrote my story is a poor effort yet, I couldn't find anything that you have written, other than this bashing comment, for me to learn from you how to write a story.
You seem to only be interested in sex. You have that in common with politicians. Most politicians seem to be interested in sex in much as they are interested in power, influence, and money. Yet, I don't write pornography. I write erotica. Perhaps you'd more find that you're looking for by reading another author.
Then, when you say that 30 to 40% of my story is devoted to politics, I must challenge you on your math skills. When you add up all 50,000 words of this story, which you haven't even finished reading yet and I haven't finished posting yet, I doubt the political commentary will approach 10% with most of that happening in the last chapter.
The bottom line Mike, like it or not, read it or not, but the reason why the financial meltdown happened is because of people like you. You have your head up your ass. You'd rather drink your beer, watch your sports, look at your porn, and masturbate than protesting against a few, old, white men picking your pockets, throwing you out of a job, foreclosing on your house, sending our jobs to China, and giving you less opportunities. I take it you didn't graduate college, otherwise you'd be protesting the high cost of education and student loans.
Let me give you a tip Mike. If you think what happened in 2008 is bad, apparently, you don't, it's going to happen again. Only, this time what will happen will be much worse because if they got away with it once with no one going to jail, they'll get away with it again.
Alas, even mother and son sex must be interrupted by world events. Only, in my story, instead of politics and greed pulling a mother and son apart by losing their house, it brought them closer together. It made them want to find comfort and be sexually intimate with one another. Don't you love a happy ending Mike? Unfortunately, the only happy ending you're interest in is ejaculating.
In chapter six, I have enough sex between Jennifer and her son, Michael to make you forget your misery, your bad attitude, and your rudeness. Now go sit down and wait a few days until I post chapter six. Chapter four will post tomorrow. Chapter five will post on Monday and I'm still writing chapter six.
Thank you so very much for reading, critiquing, and down voting my story. You are the reason why I wrote this story. You are the reason why this story needed to be written. It's because of people like you, who don't get involved and who don't care what happens in their world other than what happens to them, that a few men stole hundreds of millions and billions of dollars.
Shame on you, Mike. Shame on you. I'm embarrassed for you. I'm embarrassed that you're such a dope, such a loser. You deserved what the politicians gave you but the rest of us surely don't.
By the way Mike, read my reply. Now go back and read your reply. Tell me and be honest now, which comment is more literate, your comment to my story or my reply to your bashing comment?
I dare say that you couldn't write a grammatically correct paragraph and you dare criticize my story. Well, Mike, I didn't write this story for you. I wrote this story for your mother. Yeah, I did. Your mother hired me to write this story because you're such a dickhead. If you want to blame someone for me writing this story, blame your mother.
Have a nice day. I love you, Mike.
Great incite to the son's thoughts. The tension builds.
SusanJillParker is brilliant!!!
This author is amazingly perceptive. Her understanding of people and social events is at the level of a University professor.
A reader of SusanJillParker learns a hell of a lot with each story.
Her reply to Mike is worthy of a national newspaper columnist.
Mmmmmmm...
...deliciously building now. I'm very intrigued by this style of yours, the way you weave in the social commentary and character development. The hesitancy. The obvious love. Excellent!
On to 03!!!
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